Discussion I hate it when people realize I'm a loner.

[fuckthis]

I acknowledge I'm alone but I don't like it when others around me figure it out. I hate being known as the quiet one to be honest. The weirdo that never speaks.

 

[Plankter]

I've been "the weirdo that never speaks" for a year and a half now (since I changed schools) and I'm actually fine with it considering how my options for friends are. I do wish that I had actual good friends though, I too hate the way I am, but in my current circumstances it's best for me to just keep quiet

 

[Redt2go]

I acknowledge I'm alone but I don't like it when others around me figure it out. I hate being known as the quiet one to be honest. The weirdo that never speaks.

I can relate to this

 

[21Neberg]

You're right. I always wear a mask, as I call it. I pretend I am happy and I try to find in society best I can. That also includes pretending like I have a good social life, whereas in reality I don't have single 'true' friend, one who I could tell anything. I just don't want to be known as the lonely awkward guy, that'll only make things worse.

 

[waived]

I wish everyone automatically knew that I wasn't normal.


That brings something else to mind regarding moments with mental health issues and navigating human behavior. I have a poorly maintained journal dedicated to 'sketching' with words various interactions, and referencing sources to figure out disorders, illness, history, strata and so on of people involved. It's a hobby! This is a bit of a rant and be warned, if you can't tell from your peripheral vision in advance, this might be a terrifying two to three paragraphs so make sure you're hydrated and have a sitter present.

There are instances that have happened to me and that I've talked to others about, when the people who probably have some behavioral disorder too are trying to get you to 'cheer up' but you realize they're not the normal 'cheer up' folks. They are not even interested in controlling your behavior because they're merely fledgling shitheads and don't know how. Instead, they are trying to alter it in any way that they can with no particular goal in mind. This social encounter can happen while you are behaving completely normal, and minding your own business.

Peers in school, coworkers, friends soon to be exiled from your life into a fiery abyss. It's always pleasant watching medical staff touch the void in front of you and do this too. It gets weird when you can detect them shifting from 'trying to cheer someone up' to becoming actively vengeful towards you in tone, body language, and other behavior while they wait for fealty as you stare at them in fascination. I'm sorry your head games weren't well received you trashfire.

 

[Suicidal4Ever]

I acknowledge I'm alone but I don't like it when others around me figure it out. I hate being known as the quiet one to be honest. The weirdo that never speaks.

I barely speak at work or at school. It's kind of like i have the power of invisibility. I'm like a fly on the wall. You can see and hear everything without being seen.

 

[Chalken]

I can relate to this. Most of the days I go without saying a word, unless someone asks something and even then I answer in short sentences. I don't have any friends, but that's to be expected since I am not even able to hold a proper conversation. I'm basically a ghost. The only ones who would miss me are my parents and I barely talk to them. It's pathetic.

 

[Pulpit2018]

I dont have time for trivialities like if i am perceived as a loner or not.I dont give a damn.
If someone sees me and wants to talk to me,i can talk about a lot,provided he is not very obnoxious.
I am totally fine with people thinking i am minding my own business and leaving me alone.

 

[Redt2go]

I was feeling this earlier at work. I've learned that for me when I feel this way it comes from my shame of who I am. When I label it as shame in my head it doesn't bother me much

 

[CFLoser]

Yea idk how people just figure out how you have no friends.

The two places I worked at they both called me out on it right away... wtf. It's like magic. I don't even think I have issues talking to ppl but maybe I do.

 

[Aesthler]

I grew up as the weirdo who never speaks. People would most often say, "You're so quiet" and then attribute my quietness as a weird trait and assume I was like some psycho or something. I guess this is why I ended up gravitating to spending more time online in chatrooms and online communities from ages 13 on wards than in real social groups. Even still it's effected my whole life, my ex used to tell me I needed to talk more, and she'd always get pissed off that I wouldn't have anything to talk about sometimes. I feel like if we spend every waking hour together minus sleep and work, we'll eventually run out of things to talk about especially after 3 years of it. I don't know how to change it or fix it, I've tried forcing myself out into social situations plenty of times but it's not gotten any better.

 

[Weeping Garbage Can]

I'm a loner, always have been and will probably continue to be. I used to hate being alone, and deeply wished for friends, but now I sort of want to be left alone. I appreciate my IRL acquaintances and friends, but I don't trust them. The whole keeping up appearances is draining, and I'm not sure how much longer I can keep up the ruse.

 

[lost illusions]

I acknowledge I'm alone but I don't like it when others around me figure it out. I hate being known as the quiet one to be honest. The weirdo that never speaks.

You speak to me

 

[Mark Edward]

To all you outsiders on here (Of which I consider myself one)
It is painful to be on the fringe of things, it goes against much of our natural humanity.
But sometimes just to survive, you have to keep your mouth shut.
Unfortunately and especially in childhood, this behaviour can cause deep damage to our personalities.
It has taken me years to even figure this out.