Story I hate god for making me this ugly

[deadzombie6]

6 years ago when I was like 13 i started liking a boy and he's the only boy i ever loved but he rejected me 3 years ago . Before all this rejection thing he had a girlfriend , that girl was my classmate . When I had a crush on him I saw how he smiled , giggled and blushed at that girl or how he turned back just to catch glances of her . I remember how he smiled when she looked at him , he was really good looking and so was she , she was everything i could never be he chose her over me . She was pretty , thin and beautiful something that I can never be . 2020 feb 14 on valentine's I saw him bringing a rose and choclate and proposing to her in front of my eyes it shattered my heart I've always known i was ugly but this shit killed me . I wish I was pretty I wish I was her I wish God dint make me this ugly . I've moved on yet whenever he messages casually ( once a year or so ) I feel my heart beat I feel my stomach flip i get so many butterflies and idk why . He's the only one I had a crush on still hurts to think that if I was beautiful i would have been his first love and first girlfriend . I'm already 19 and it hurts to know that I will never be anyone's first in anything . I can never be a man's first love and it hurts .

 

[goredpet]

i'm 20 years old and i met a man who was 22 who had no experiences whatsoever. it's entirely possible for you to be someone's first still, but i wouldn't rule anyone out simply because of past experiences still. my first real relationship was at 18. you'd be surprised how many people are out there who haven't found a chance yet. they're a quiet group, but a large one.

 

[needthebus]

sorry you feel this way and are here at SaSu. also hi

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Unrequited love is as torturous as it gets.

 

[SuicidalCurryBoy]

I've never been with anyone either.

 

[DevonBostick'sAss]

We have our own people. Believe it or not there's someone for you somewhere. The world is not only looks. Of course it affects so many things so so many things but once a person is ugly on the inside no relationship will last long. Probably one side only has lust over that person. Not love.

I believe that I'm not attractive at all. Only got sum big boobs thats it. Somehow I got people that wanted to give me a chance. I knew who wanted what from me though. U gotta be careful. I dont reply to those who only lusts over me. I want genuine love believe it or not theres people like that for me and for you.
Dont lose hope!

 

[greebo6]

I have always wished I wasn't so ugly. I have long ago given up because I know I am too ugly for love . I understand that pain. But you are still young . Time , if nothing else , is still on your side. Good luck . I hope it changes for you somehow .

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I mean, you are 19. There is still a pretty good chance of you being someone's first. Along with that, who cares if you aren't someone's first? Most people don't get to be someone's first and that's okay. I'm pretty ugly and I still somehow ended up having someone fall in love with me (my current bf). I'm sure that you probably still have a chance of finding romantic love. And if you don't? Well, that's fine. Romantic love is no more special than any other type of love anyway.

 

[LukaParrot]

You're not ugly and still very young.

I still remember how it hurts to not having a reciprocated love. Believe me that it will pass, with time, you're gonna laugh after few years.

When we're young, I think... we're kinda desperate to find someone, you're going to find someone better.

Love is a very weird thing, I remember telling a friend how much I liked a woman and in my opinion she was beautiful, he look at me like "are you crazy? she is ugly as fuck!". I think i was 30-35yo.... so, what I want to say is, from my experience, you need to keep going and you're going to find someone that trully deserves you.

 

[coffeebeany]

I'm so sorry you feel this way and that it causes you so much pain. Unrequited love is very painful. I don't want to give you the "when I was your age" talk (I'm 30 now) but I agree with the previous commentators. When I was 18/19 I've been through a similar situation (like so many others) and it was so painful. I was very desperate and felt so hopeless. I was super critical about my looks, too, and to some extent I still am because it is difficult in our world to love yourself everyday. Today, with more perspective and fully developed, I think with 19 we usually lack important points of reference and life experiences that may help to put our thoughts and feelings into perspective. Again, what you are feeling is very valid and I sympathize a lot. But you are still very young. Like someone said, love can be complex and paradox at times. I do not think that you are ugly. Besides, looks aren't everything. People have different tastes and features they find attractive. You don't have to meet unrealistic or uniform beauty standards to find romantic love (or any love). You have every chance to find a romantic partner who might love you for all the things you may not like about yourself.

And regarding being someone's first love. Why is this so important to you? EvisceratedJester pointed it out: Most people don't get to be someone's first. I know first love or first sex are often romanticized and idealized in our society. These are common tropes in literature and film. But realistically, this does not determine the quality or depth of your relationship with a partner.

 

[SomethingOriginal]

6 years ago when I was like 13 i started liking a boy and he's the only boy i ever loved but he rejected me 3 years ago . Before all this rejection thing he had a girlfriend , that girl was my classmate . When I had a crush on him I saw how he smiled , giggled and blushed at that girl or how he turned back just to catch glances of her . I remember how he smiled when she looked at him , he was really good looking and so was she , she was everything i could never be he chose her over me . She was pretty , thin and beautiful something that I can never be . 2020 feb 14 on valentine's I saw him bringing a rose and choclate and proposing to her in front of my eyes it shattered my heart I've always known i was ugly but this shit killed me . I wish I was pretty I wish I was her I wish God dint make me this ugly . I've moved on yet whenever he messages casually ( once a year or so ) I feel my heart beat I feel my stomach flip i get so many butterflies and idk why . He's the only one I had a crush on still hurts to think that if I was beautiful i would have been his first love and first girlfriend . I'm already 19 and it hurts to know that I will never be anyone's first in anything . I can never be a man's first love and it hurts .

Ugliness is a subjective concept. She might have been boring as anything and he'll probably not stick around. Self-confidence therapy was shown to be as effective as plastic surgery by one study. Personality is important. Things like physical fitness (if this concerns you) can be worked on. Focus on what you control, as the stoics say. You can't control your looks (and no, I'm not saying anything is wrong with them - we always think we look worse than we do).