I hate being trans

[suicidal flapper]

The dysphoria is killing me. I can't take it anymore. HRT isn't working. I want to rip my skin off. I'm soon to be 22. HOW MUCH LONGER will I get the money for surgery so I can just fucking die

 

[momdontcryplease]

yes it's honestly a curse. I may have been a very evil person in my past life to deserve this

 

[lunarflower]

It only seems to get harder... Everyday is a fucking misery

 

[draekmir]

Everyone says I've made so much progress but I still look in the mirror and see an ugly man that I hate. I'm just a man with boobs now...

 

[natthebrat]

I wish there was more research into what makes us trans so something could be done for us preemptively. But no, so many of our advocates insist on "trans positivity" and that "being trans is such a cool way to be!". Which no, it isn't something to be ashamed of, but that doesn't mean it's a pleasant experience I'd wish on someone else, and I say that as someone with a relatively accepting support system. Out of curiosity, how long have you been on HRT?

 

[suicidal flapper]

I wish there was more research into what makes us trans so something could be done for us preemptively. But no, so many of our advocates insist on "trans positivity" and that "being trans is such a cool way to be!". Which no, it isn't something to be ashamed of, but that doesn't mean it's a pleasant experience I'd wish on someone else, and I say that as someone with a relatively accepting support system. Out of curiosity, how long have you been on HRT?

I've been on HRT on and off for a nearly two years. Not a single bit of progress has happened except slight breast growth. My face is incredibly masculine. I'm so close to affording facial fem to change all of that but it's just 1 surgery out of 5 I need. It's not fair and I still have wide ass shoulders. It's not even just my body. I wanted girlhood. I want my right genitalia. I don't want to be trans

 

[borderline-feline]

Everyone says I've made so much progress but I still look in the mirror and see an ugly man that I hate. I'm just a man with boobs now...

One of the worst things about dysphoria is that it causes you to only see the things that are wrong. No matter how much progress you make, there's still gonna be stuff that seems glaring to you. No matter how much you might pass, there's always that feeling that it's not enough.

I've been on HRT on and off for a nearly two years. Not a single bit of progress has happened except slight breast growth. My face is incredibly masculine. I'm so close to affording facial fem to change all of that but it's just 1 surgery out of 5 I need. It's not fair and I still have wide ass shoulders. It's not even just my body. I wanted girlhood. I want my right genitalia. I don't want to be trans

The unfortunate reality is that how well HRT works largely depends on genetics. It's fucking awful as well that there are some things that it just doesn't change. Life would be so much easier for all of us if we weren't born the wrong sex.

 

[fwompie]

I wish there was more research into what makes us trans so something could be done for us preemptively. But no, so many of our advocates insist on "trans positivity" and that "being trans is such a cool way to be!". Which no, it isn't something to be ashamed of, but that doesn't mean it's a pleasant experience I'd wish on someone else, and I say that as someone with a relatively accepting support system. Out of curiosity, how long have you been on HRT?

That would be so interesting.
And also yes, I've never understood people who are prideful for being trans, I absolutely despise myself. I admire those people a great deal, I've met a few trans people who've never felt "bad" about being trans and last week I met a girl who feels that being trans makes her more interesting as well, so she likes to show it off. She even said she doesn't mind not passing for that reason. Baffled me. For her being trans has nothing to do with what other people think or perceive, just about what she feels inside.

Every day I wake up and I wish I were dead. I know even with all surgeries and hormones, I'll still know I'll never be who I was meant to be. Just a big mistake.