Venting I hate being in love

[MulherSatanás]

I never thought I would feel this way about someone, and it came with terrible timing. I really don't know how to deal with this.
There's this dude, who I started talking to not too long ago, and man... he's honestly the most amazing person I've ever met in my life.
I don't think anyone has ever made me feel as good as he does, no one has ever cared about me as much as he does, no one has ever been as interested in me as he is.
I can't put into words how much I like him, honestly...
My life was much more unhappy before he came along. Thanks to him, I started to feel a little more energetic and happy... but even so, I feel terrible, especially with some things that happened. I just don't know how to put into words how much I love him. No one has ever done half the things he has done for me. No exaggeration.
I found the courage to tell him about my feelings... the problem is, he is an extremely insecure person. And he sees no reason for me to like him... but he made it clear that he ''feels the same''. I don't think I've ever experienced what it's like for someone to like you in a romantic way. Knowing that someone so incredible ''felt the same as me'' was the best thing I've ever felt. I'm putting that in quotes because basically, he is confused about his feelings and ended up putting a lot of hope in me... I don't blame him. We continue with our friendship, but it is difficult for me to deal with this intense feeling. Even more so with how much I miss being affectionate with each other. He was always sending huge messages saying how much he loved me. What he told me now is: He knows he loves me, but he doesn't know whether it's in a romantic way or not.
I've been planning to take my life for a long time, and meeting him has started to make me want to live a little longer. He really has become the only reason I'm alive, I really don't want to disappoint him. He knows my history and made me promise that I would NEVER try anything against my life again... This kills me, because I was planning to try again in a few days... the desire I feel to die is much greater than all this... I definitely don't know what to do. When I'm finally gone, I hope he finally understands how much I love him. I repeat, NOBODY has ever been like this to me. I have NEVER dealt with this feeling before. I feel totally pathetic feeling this way.

 

[ZedZeo]

That sounds nice. I wish I had someone like that in my life

 

[strawb12]

There are exceptions but I think in general its not fair to peoples partner if they ctb while they are still together or close with them. If I was in your position I would either distance myself from him so that he doesn't get as hurt when you ctb, or just wait to ctb. If the relationship doesn't work out you can always try again later but if it does work out you could have something in your life worth living for.

 

[MulherSatanás]

There are exceptions but I think in general its not fair to peoples partner if they ctb while they are still together or close with them. If I was in your position I would either distance myself from him so that he doesn't get as hurt when you ctb, or just wait to ctb. If the relationship doesn't work out you can always try again later but if it does work out you could have something in your life worth living for.

I began to slowly move away from him. I don't want to hurt him in any way.