Venting I guess there's not really an excuse

[NightmareTour]

I've had a lot of moments where I realise that I can't really blame my health for everything. A lot of the reason that my life is shitty is my own fault.

This morning was one of those moments. My parents were watching the news, and there was a story about someone who had almost exactly the same disease I had, except she was a lot younger at the time. She lost an arm and a leg, and became a paralympic athlete. I'm constantly surrounded by stories of people who had horrible illnesses or accidents or were born disabled, and made something great of themselves. Yet here I am, with a fraction of the problems they have, and I haven't even achieved the bare minimum of what's expected of someone my age. I just sit here and rely on my family to look after me, feeling sorry for myself and waiting to die.

I don't get it, why are they able to do great things and I can hardly function? Am I just weaker than they are? It's not like they're not in as much pain, or struggling as much, or have it easier in any way. So why are they able to find success through the thing that makes me want to die? What the fuck is wrong with me?

 

[foxdie]

Nothing is wrong with you friend, everyone handles things differently. I have no physical ailments and I'm a fucking disaster, sometimes I feel like I'm garbage because there are people worse off then me. We can't do this to ourselves tho, suffering is relative. Anthony Bourdain had my dream life yet he still killed himself. You can't know what is in another's head or hope they cope or not cope.

 

[Merlay]

I can relate. I always tell myself that "other people have it worse", yet here I am, just wasting away, hoping everyday to die in my sleep and just get disappointed every time I wake up. Everyone's suffering is different. We all have different opportunities set in front of us. Different support system. They see their illness/disability and people had helped them to cope. So, please, don't blame yourself. You're in invisible agony and some people are insensitive to see that. But we hear you. I hope you heal.

 

[TooConscious]

I like you, you aren't the sort of person like most people who live with their parents here over the age of 18 blame them get still live with them, they're the sort that if they became pregnant, they would blame their parents for giving birth to them.
Of course a lot here have suffered terribly because of their parents, but there seems a culture that Good parents aren't valued here, it's as if the nicer they are the worse they're treated. You aren't one of these spoilt, spiteful people, start with that, see your rational acceptance of your thinking you MIGHT be doing something wrong and are looking to fix it. The way you seem to me is YOU'll lead yourself to positivity.

Nothing is wrong with you friend, everyone handles things differently. I have no physical ailments and I'm a fucking disaster, sometimes I feel like I'm garbage because there are people worse off then me. We can't do this to ourselves tho, suffering is relative. Anthony Bourdain had my dream life yet he still killed himself. You can't know what is in another's head or hope they cope or not cope.

Have you heard the theories his death was a staged suicide... As he was about to expose more elite evil occult pedophiles.
Apparently he made a video weeks prior that if he died it wouldn't be of his own doing?
So I've heard... I can't find the video only everyone talking about it, apparently the video keeps getting took down.

Trouble is, as a comedian, is he fookin with us...

 

[NightmareTour]

I like you, you aren't the sort of person like most people who live with their parents here over the age of 18 blame them get still live with them, they're the sort that if they became pregnant, they would blame their parents for giving birth to them.
Of course a lot here have suffered terribly because of their parents, but there seems a culture that Good parents aren't valued here, it's as if the nicer they are the worse they're treated. You aren't one of these spoilt, spiteful people, start with that, see your rational acceptance of your thinking you MIGHT be doing something wrong and are looking to fix it. The way you seem to me is YOU'll lead yourself to positivity.

Have you heard the theories his death was a staged suicide... As he was about to expose more elite evil occult pedophiles.
Apparently he made a video weeks prior that if he died it wouldn't be of his own doing?
So I've heard... I can't find the video only everyone talking about it, apparently the video keeps getting took down.

Trouble is, as a comedian, is he fookin with us...

I did move out for a bit, but ended up coming back because I probably would have starved to death or something otherwise. I can't say I've always had the greatest relationship with them, but I definitely owe them when it comes to that. That said, some people really do have some horrible experiences with their parents while living with them, so I won't write off everyone who says their parents aren't great.

 

[CoalmineCanary]

I don't get it, why are they able to do great things and I can hardly function? Am I just weaker than they are? It's not like they're not in as much pain, or struggling as much, or have it easier in any way. So why are they able to find success through the thing that makes me want to die? What the fuck is wrong with me?

There's nothing wrong with you.

Rather, it's what's so great about their situation vs. your circumstance. A lot of people who are able to prevail over hardships do not do this alone. The fundamental difference between the success of those people and others is they have the support, resources, medical attention, finances, and privilege to accomplish those "feats". Having money or connections makes a difference. Having the right support to help guide you makes a difference.

If you do not have these things of value, it will be exponentially more difficult for you to overcome your challenges and circumstances. Please keep this in mind when you are being compared to a "success story".

 

[TooConscious]

There's a difference not wanting to be homeless dealing with a culture of people that 70/80% are trying to rob you. 20-30 rape/hurt you.
Are you abusing your parents kindness, accepting a high standard of living while still complaining about them? You're not. You are in a genuine state of confusion going through an existential period of your life.
I wouldn't say you owe them but if you feel you do you can make it up to them though it doesn't seem plausible at the moment.

There's nothing wrong with you.

Rather, it's what's so great about their situation vs. your circumstance. A lot of people who are able to prevail over hardships do not do this alone. The fundamental difference between the success of those people and others is they have the support, resources, medical attention, finances, and privilege to accomplish those "feats". Having money or connections makes a difference. Having the right support to help guide you makes a difference.

If you do not have and of these things of value, it will be exponentially more difficult for you to overcome your challenges and circumstances. Please keep this in mind when you are being compared to a "success story".

Nail on the head.
Society is structured this way so everyone feels they've made themselves inferior, that way if we gain any motivation in this shit world we use it to burn ourselves out by striving to be like our false idols, instead of using that energy to figure out how all people get together to accept each other and collapse the system of our owners.

 

[foxdie]

I like you, you aren't the sort of person like most people who live with their parents here over the age of 18 blame them get still live with them, they're the sort that if they became pregnant, they would blame their parents for giving birth to them.
Of course a lot here have suffered terribly because of their parents, but there seems a culture that Good parents aren't valued here, it's as if the nicer they are the worse they're treated. You aren't one of these spoilt, spiteful people, start with that, see your rational acceptance of your thinking you MIGHT be doing something wrong and are looking to fix it. The way you seem to me is YOU'll lead yourself to positivity.

Have you heard the theories his death was a staged suicide... As he was about to expose more elite evil occult pedophiles.
Apparently he made a video weeks prior that if he died it wouldn't be of his own doing?
So I've heard... I can't find the video only everyone talking about it, apparently the video keeps getting took down.

Trouble is, as a comedian, is he fookin with us...

I haven't looked into that theory about Bourdain. All I'll say is I doubt it but i don't want to derail OP's thread.

 

[AutoTap]

Yep I can relate to that feeling of why can they do it but I can't? It sucks

 

[Symbiote]

The reason why some people are better at it than others is their ability to cope with harsh situations and having a loving support system. And sometimes that may not be enough due to the ability of our minds to overpower positive stimuli. Anthony Bourdain traveled the world, ate everywhere, met many friends, but still killed himself, maybe his friendships were skin deep and he couldn't connect or he felt that the best way to end life was at the peak of his career. Chester Bennington had drug issues and past demons, even though he had a family and was a rockstar, he killed himself in the end.

The one thing I try not to do in life is compare myself to others or make judgments based on someone's life. We have no idea what people go through or what you've gone through to deserve this. Their situations are different, their outcomes are and how they were brought up in life determines how well they can challenge difficult situations. Some of us were just given a bad bag of tools to work with.

 

[AutoTap]

The reason why some people are better at it than others is their ability to cope with harsh situations and having a loving support system. And sometimes that may not be enough due to the ability of our minds to overpower positive stimuli. Anthony Bourdain traveled the world, ate everywhere, met many friends, but still killed himself, maybe his friendships were skin deep and he couldn't connect or he felt that the best way to end life was at the peak of his career. Chester Bennington had drug issues and past demons, even though he had a family and was a rockstar, he killed himself in the end.

The one thing I try not to do in life is compare myself to others or make judgments based on someone's life. We have no idea what people go through or what you've gone through to deserve this. Their situations are different, their outcomes are and how they were brought up in life determines how well they can challenge difficult situations. Some of us were just given a bad bag of tools to work with.

This is so true

 

[Lostandlooking]

I'm constantly surrounded by stories of people who had horrible illnesses or accidents or were born disabled, and made something great of themselves. Yet here I am, with a fraction of the problems they have, and I haven't even achieved the bare minimum of what's expected of someone my age.

These succes stories can often be classified as 'inspiration porn'. This person with a disability manages to achieve amazing things dispite being disabled. Non-disabled people or neurotypical people can feel comforted by these stories. They can tell themselves it's amazing how much you can achieve in life and practically anything is possible if you set your mind to it. It is genuinely amazing what some people can achieve, but sometimes this phenomenon discredits the people who cannot achieve the same things. A disability can be disabling. And there's nothing wrong with that. I've often been told about Bill Gates or Einstein and how they might have autistic traits but managed to achieve great things. (I struggle with autism amongst other things) It's just something to make a neurotypical person feel more comfortable. Genuinely not being able to do something is scary.

It does not make me feel better to see these stories. Internalized ableism plays a part as well I think. What it comes down to; You're doing exactly as much as you're supposed to be doing. And you don't have to feel inferior to anyone. Not comparing yourself to other people is easier said than done however.