I gotta do this before I get locked up again

[itsallover]

I can barely function after leaving the psych hospital. They kept me there over a month for an overdose. I'm sure next time they'll put me in a state ward. I know people have offed themselves in institutions but it must be a lot harder. Does anyone else here just look forward to sleep so they can escape the nightmare they're living? I really don't think I was cut out to be a normal adult. Junior year of college I started to get all paranoid about stupid things OCD related. I made perfect sense but they took it as psychosis and deemed me schizoaffective. Once I tried to get off those hard drugs they ruined my physical health and there's not much I can do about it. I should be angry and spiteful, but at the end of the day I just wanted to be left alone since I was young. You have to go to school, you have to go to work, you have to be a certain way. I would never be able to take care of a family and there's no way I would ever bring kids into this world to experience this shitfest called life. Let's be real. It's all about survival and some of us get fucked by the system. I believe most people are mindless while just chasing pleasure. No one is really going to give a shit when I die except my mother. I wish she would just understand and let me go. I fought as hard as I could to finish school and have a brief career through all the psych bullshit. Those pills do not help at all. They just screw up your serotonin and dopamine long term. The worst part about this is I know my life was stolen from me by those asshole psychiatrists. Does anyone else feel like getting back at that system?

 

[Dead_Inside]

I am so sorry. That doesn't help- I know. I have thought about turning myself in. But I have so many issues- PTSD issues. I know they wouldn't care but I think I would go insane. I am scared of the drugs these places use. I am so sorry they fucked you up..... that's not the way this should work. You should have been *cared* for. You are a conscious creature .....

 

[itsallover]

I am so sorry. That doesn't help- I know. I have thought about turning myself in. But I have so many issues- PTSD issues. I know they wouldn't care but I think I would go insane. I am scared of the drugs these places use. I am so sorry they fucked you up..... that's not the way this should work. You should have been *cared* for. You are a conscious creature .....

A lot of people are permanently debilitated or killed in the medical setting. I would rather have died then had to suffer all these years and now be forced to do it myself. I was really happy and hopeful before all this, but after almost three years with no answers I have nothing left.

 

[dontwantthislife]

YES.
I have been fucked over by the mental health system.
Detained, withheld medications, accused of just being a borderline patient (borderline personality disorder patients are the most hated mental health condition too. Doctors and psychiatrists hate them).
Even though I know I have bipolar they just diagnosed BPD because I cut as well.

Yesterday the new psychiatrist I was assigned was so dismissive. Told him I will hang myself and he's like "okay we will see you in March then".

Alright fuck the system. You think I'm not seriously! Let's see!

 

[Dead_Inside]

That is fucking awful. I am sorry. Shit like that scares me from trying anything in the psychiatric help field. I hope this fucking system gets its shit together soon. So many need help.... real help. I can't believe they faile you so badly- you should never be ruined like this by a system that should have cared for you .

 

[Redt2go]

YES.
I have been fucked over by the mental health system.
Detained, withheld medications, accused of just being a borderline patient (borderline personality disorder patients are the most hated mental health condition too. Doctors and psychiatrists hate them).
Even though I know I have bipolar they just diagnosed BPD because I cut as well.

Yesterday the new psychiatrist I was assigned was so dismissive. Told him I will hang myself and he's like "okay we will see you in March then".

Alright fuck the system. You think I'm not seriously! Let's see!

What an ass

 

[itsallover]

YES.
I have been fucked over by the mental health system.
Detained, withheld medications, accused of just being a borderline patient (borderline personality disorder patients are the most hated mental health condition too. Doctors and psychiatrists hate them).
Even though I know I have bipolar they just diagnosed BPD because I cut as well.

Yesterday the new psychiatrist I was assigned was so dismissive. Told him I will hang myself and he's like "okay we will see you in March then".

Alright fuck the system. You think I'm not seriously! Let's see!

Now that mother fucker deserves to die. I have come across so many rude arrogant people that deserve to be run over.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

You have to go to school, you have to go to work, you have to be a certain way. I would never be able to take care of a family and there's no way I would ever bring kids into this world to experience this shitfest called life. Let's be real. It's all about survival and some of us get fucked by the system.

Everything you wrote, I feel or felt. Yes, yes, yes. And yes again. Wish I could send you a big box of peace.