Venting I got rejected from a university course. I’m tired. I feel so worthless, like life is giving me signs I’d be better off dead.

[Summer1899]

I feel like an absolute failure.

I know logically this isn't true. People aren't failure simply because they haven't succeeded immediately.

But I'm tired of the false platitudes. I'm tired of the, "Keep going!"s when all my attempts have ended in disappointment, with me on the floor, screaming and crying because — why, why, why can't I succeed? Why is there something wrong with me? Why can't I just have a semblance — an iota of happiness?

I feel like life is just a series of signs at this point that I should die. I've created an action plan to deal with the dilemma above (too scared to CBT) but it feels futile. I constantly feel like I'm running out of time, and I don't get it. I'm 22. But I feel like it's going to be over and I need to get everything done now, and that in order to compensate for the abuse at the hands of my parents and my peers I need to be something significant. I've been unemployed for a year now and not a single day has been fully dedicated to rest but, gotta do this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this — and I'm just so. Fucking. Tired.

This feels like it should be the final straw, and I hate myself for how illogical I sound. For how pathetic and whiny. I'll try and deal with it tomorrow but for now I've ordered myself a massive takeout. I'll sit, watch Netflix, and just fucking chill because I'm tired.

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that there could never be anything fair about existing in this cruel world, life really is just unnecessary suffering in which there is no real relief from. It certainly does sound really tiring what you have to endure but anyway best wishes.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I feel like an absolute failure.

I know logically this isn't true. People aren't failure simply because they haven't succeeded immediately.

But I'm tired of the false platitudes. I'm tired of the, "Keep going!"s when all my attempts have ended in disappointment, with me on the floor, screaming and crying because — why, why, why can't I succeed? Why is there something wrong with me? Why can't I just have a semblance — an iota of happiness?

I feel like life is just a series of signs at this point that I should die. I've created an action plan to deal with the dilemma above (too scared to CBT) but it feels futile. I constantly feel like I'm running out of time, and I don't get it. I'm 22. But I feel like it's going to be over and I need to get everything done now, and that in order to compensate for the abuse at the hands of my parents and my peers I need to be something significant. I've been unemployed for a year now and not a single day has been fully dedicated to rest but, gotta do this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this — and I'm just so. Fucking. Tired.

This feels like it should be the final straw, and I hate myself for how illogical I sound. For how pathetic and whiny. I'll try and deal with it tomorrow but for now I've ordered myself a massive takeout. I'll sit, watch Netflix, and just fucking chill because I'm tired.

What's the action plan you've formulated?

For people like us it can be hard to stay motivated after disappointments and setbacks. The allure of CTB can be very strong. It's okay to take some time to regroup and I hope after this break you can find renewed energy in yourself.

 

[foreversad16]

I feel like an absolute failure.

I know logically this isn't true. People aren't failure simply because they haven't succeeded immediately.

But I'm tired of the false platitudes. I'm tired of the, "Keep going!"s when all my attempts have ended in disappointment, with me on the floor, screaming and crying because — why, why, why can't I succeed? Why is there something wrong with me? Why can't I just have a semblance — an iota of happiness?

I feel like life is just a series of signs at this point that I should die. I've created an action plan to deal with the dilemma above (too scared to CBT) but it feels futile. I constantly feel like I'm running out of time, and I don't get it. I'm 22. But I feel like it's going to be over and I need to get everything done now, and that in order to compensate for the abuse at the hands of my parents and my peers I need to be something significant. I've been unemployed for a year now and not a single day has been fully dedicated to rest but, gotta do this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this — and I'm just so. Fucking. Tired.

This feels like it should be the final straw, and I hate myself for how illogical I sound. For how pathetic and whiny. I'll try and deal with it tomorrow but for now I've ordered myself a massive takeout. I'll sit, watch Netflix, and just fucking chill because I'm tired.

Go you for trying so hard, be proud of all your efforts so far, not surprised you're so very tired and hope you enjoyed your takeout and Netflix treat as you earned it. You're not illogical, pathetic or whiny just human like the rest of us. We all need downtime and recovery time. I reward myself for getting out of bed and in the shower some days! Happiness is in the small things. Try not to think back or too far forward do what you can do today and see what comes from that.

Have you thought about a modern apprenticeship scheme? Where I work many young people have started on these, admittedly not earning huge sums to start with, and have gone on to earn salaries double or even triple that. We take some people on in this way as well as those with job experience and those joining as University graduates. Worth a thought. Hope you're feeling better.

 

[wr3ck3d]

I feel the same. I tried to change jobs a few years ago, and I ended up having two jobs for a few months. I had a car accident after less than a month I started working both and I never had time to deal with it, so I gave up on changing jobs just so I can be able to deal with the accident and all the other stuff I was behind on. After I stopped the second job and dealt with the car accident I decided to go to college for some small courses.
And then corona started, I attended my courses in full, did whatever they asked, but when it came to the certification, I heard nothing. My one job that I still had refused to pay my overtime. I took another course that went nowhere and I just got tired. For a year I've been trying to improve myself and I ended up lower than ever. Games were a way to distract myself, but I realized that they didn't hold my interest for more than a few hours, so I ended abandoning playing as well.
And therefore I ended up with the mentality that whatever I start, won't be finished or worth finishing so I abandoned a lot of the things I had in mind for the future, to the point I couldn't even plan what I was going to do the day after.
I feel useless now and is my main reason to ctb. I don't understand how I can try so hard and end up even worse than before.