![Kadaver](/data/avatars/l/73/73037.jpg?1723949909)
Kadaver
let death be kinder than man
- Aug 11, 2023
- 60
So its been awhile since I've logged in. the last thing I posted about was ordering SN from DMC (I think that's the "code name" people use on here?) well it did arrive. Way way sooner than I ever expected it to. I placed my order on the 18th of June and it arrived the 20th of the same month somehow? I'm not sure.
What I do know is that I did NOT expect it to arrive so soon so I wasn't looking for it. I didn't get an email or notification saying it had come. My roommate opened the package while I was sleeping and woke me up a few hours later to confront me about it.
We talked for awhile before the police came. There was more than two that entered the house (I can't remember the exact number). They told me I couldn't shower or leave their sight. I went with them willingly and they handcuffed me (with my hands in front of me) and took my phone when I tried to use it. There was way more cop cars outside than necessary; at least three. i felt like a criminal.
They took me to a hospital where I signed some paperwork and was put in what I consider a habitat. It was a hallway with three rooms; a sitting room with a small TV encased in some kind of plastic and two sleeping rooms. It also had a big window almost like a two-way mirror.
They gave me two blankets and left me there. There was no clocks and nothing to do so I slept with them coming in to take vitals and ask questions every now and then. I tried to lie about why I was there but it was no use. My roommate told them everything.
Speaking of questions the dumbass nurse couldn't seem to figure out if I was AFAB or AMAB even though I point-blank told her. They asked me multiple times to clarify.
I woke up again to two EMS workers wheeling a stretcher into my "habitat" and I remember feeling like they were making a mountain out of a molehill. I could walk for Christ's sake. I didn't fight them and just laid on the stretcher and they fucking strapped me down and wheeled me out of the hospital and into an EMS van.
They didn't tell me where we were going. When I got to the hospital I was told I could either sign myself in voluntarily or go through "mental health court" with a judge. I signed myself in.
I was there for two weeks essentially doing nothing. During my second day there some financial lady told me that my bill was going to be $1,000+ and I instantly began to panic. That's everything in my savings account. My roommate initially told me that he would pay it because he had 5150'ed me but then later told me I would figure out a way to pay it. So I guess its my issue to worry about.
I got out on the 5th of July and things only really went downhill from there.
Suddenly it was like my roommate/best friend couldn't stand to be around me. Apparently I "stressed him out" and he ultimately decided I would leave and go back to my dads place for a month to give him some space. I'm still there and I'm terrified he's going to change his mind and not let me come back.
I've been trying to give him space and not text him too much. He doesn't reciprocate when I tell him that I miss/love him. He barely texts me back when I do text him. I feel like shit and I wish he hadn't have stopped me.
He made me promise not to use this site but I feel like I have nowhere else I can vent my feelings without stressing people out and I'm afraid anything I say to the people I care about will make its way back to him.
Also as a note do not ask me for a link to the source. I don't feel comfortable giving it out. Please respect that.
What I do know is that I did NOT expect it to arrive so soon so I wasn't looking for it. I didn't get an email or notification saying it had come. My roommate opened the package while I was sleeping and woke me up a few hours later to confront me about it.
We talked for awhile before the police came. There was more than two that entered the house (I can't remember the exact number). They told me I couldn't shower or leave their sight. I went with them willingly and they handcuffed me (with my hands in front of me) and took my phone when I tried to use it. There was way more cop cars outside than necessary; at least three. i felt like a criminal.
They took me to a hospital where I signed some paperwork and was put in what I consider a habitat. It was a hallway with three rooms; a sitting room with a small TV encased in some kind of plastic and two sleeping rooms. It also had a big window almost like a two-way mirror.
They gave me two blankets and left me there. There was no clocks and nothing to do so I slept with them coming in to take vitals and ask questions every now and then. I tried to lie about why I was there but it was no use. My roommate told them everything.
Speaking of questions the dumbass nurse couldn't seem to figure out if I was AFAB or AMAB even though I point-blank told her. They asked me multiple times to clarify.
I woke up again to two EMS workers wheeling a stretcher into my "habitat" and I remember feeling like they were making a mountain out of a molehill. I could walk for Christ's sake. I didn't fight them and just laid on the stretcher and they fucking strapped me down and wheeled me out of the hospital and into an EMS van.
They didn't tell me where we were going. When I got to the hospital I was told I could either sign myself in voluntarily or go through "mental health court" with a judge. I signed myself in.
I was there for two weeks essentially doing nothing. During my second day there some financial lady told me that my bill was going to be $1,000+ and I instantly began to panic. That's everything in my savings account. My roommate initially told me that he would pay it because he had 5150'ed me but then later told me I would figure out a way to pay it. So I guess its my issue to worry about.
I got out on the 5th of July and things only really went downhill from there.
Suddenly it was like my roommate/best friend couldn't stand to be around me. Apparently I "stressed him out" and he ultimately decided I would leave and go back to my dads place for a month to give him some space. I'm still there and I'm terrified he's going to change his mind and not let me come back.
I've been trying to give him space and not text him too much. He doesn't reciprocate when I tell him that I miss/love him. He barely texts me back when I do text him. I feel like shit and I wish he hadn't have stopped me.
He made me promise not to use this site but I feel like I have nowhere else I can vent my feelings without stressing people out and I'm afraid anything I say to the people I care about will make its way back to him.
Also as a note do not ask me for a link to the source. I don't feel comfortable giving it out. Please respect that.