Venting I genuinely will never escape from him. And a small update

[rizzpi]

I have realized something. It is that I will never be able to get away. When I was a kid, my dad was a cop and used to beat me and my mom. and now I am stuck with a guy who sees nothing but an object. The past few days this is what we argued about.

1. I didn't want to get high with him. Got slapped and yelled at.
2. didn't want to watch him play a game harassed me saying I never cared about him That I cheated and That I hate him.
3. Told me I was being a bitch and that's why I got hit
4. Strangled me when we went to visit some family in the other room when I told him that I don't want to have kids with him.
5. in general he has lost his shit when I said I don't want kids. at this rate I don't even know if I could be pregnant or not.
6. Didn't want to do Intimate stuff and got told I was a whore and that I was made for it

At this point I have tried to leave Got told he would kill me and whoever I would get with. I have tried to tell the police A woman's shelter is like 4 hours away in a city and I know I won't make it. My car sucks. I am forever stuck till either he is fed up with me or I decide to ctb.

I have gone my whole life with no love. With no one to actually care about me.

 

[pole]

Jesus Christ.

im so sorry.

on top of the shit you've dealt with as a kid, its just horrible seeing someone else forever stuck in this cycle of abuse. you haven't caught a break at all.

what have the police said when you have spoken to them? do you have the ability to communicate to the police just how much of a threat he is to you? I'm hoping they can offer an escort to the shelter.

from reading your other post, it's clear your cries for help have been gone unnoticed. however, continuing to be persistent and calling the authorities for help is the best bet. are you able to speak to a woman's shelter, tell them about your situation and let them help out? I'm sure they can take lead and help organize a plan for you.

these situations are complex and it's difficult to navigate through, but sometimes there is a way out. I understand perhaps feeling stuck with him, seeing nowhere to go, but you deserve some level of peace, even if your committed to CTB, and that means getting the hell away from that piece of shit.

 

[Synrelia]

i'm so sorry, he's terrible and he deserves to die. you are loved, you are cared for, there are so many people out there who'd probably love you thrice over if you could give them a chance. this guy is an incredible asshole, i'm sorry you're going through this shit. i've been through similar before, it's incredibly hard to leave first honestly

you run the risk of getting hurt more in an attempt to make them hate you so they leave first, and you feel too weak to leave on your own. when me and my ex broke up i went completely mia from all online stuff with a basic phone, i didn't even have a car but i just took the first train i could farthest away to stay with a friend. even if your car sucks, is there no way you could drive to a friend who he doesn't know? if you can't, try to go to the woman's shelter at least.

take pictures of ALL bruises and marks. if you show those to the police then they'll be able to take him in, i did this with my mother and it worked. i'm so so so fucking sorry you're getting hit and hurt so bad, but you can get out of this. ctb should be a last resort, so please keep trying to escape. you have us here, if no one else.

at the end of the day, the only person that will be with you from birth to death is yourself. so you have to fight and care for yourself. so please don't give up here

 

[alonely]

get out any way you can, even if you think you have no options, there is a way out. strangling is the number one indicator that a partner will kill you in the future.

i've been there, to the point of getting strangled as well. i know it's hard. big hugs, DMs are open if you need it.

 

[rizzpi]

Jesus Christ.

im so sorry.

on top of the shit you've dealt with as a kid, its just horrible seeing someone else forever stuck in this cycle of abuse. you haven't caught a break at all.

what have the police said when you have spoken to them? do you have the ability to communicate to the police just how much of a threat he is to you? I'm hoping they can offer an escort to the shelter.

from reading your other post, it's clear your cries for help have been gone unnoticed. however, continuing to be persistent and calling the authorities for help is the best bet. are you able to speak to a woman's shelter, tell them about your situation and let them help out? I'm sure they can take lead and help organize a plan for you.

these situations are complex and it's difficult to navigate through, but sometimes there is a way out. I understand perhaps feeling stuck with him, seeing nowhere to go, but you deserve some level of peace, even if your committed to CTB, and that means getting the hell away from that piece of shit.

I have probably gone to the police 5-6 (maybe more times) And was blown off I tried to get a restraining order and for some reason even when I told he was bothering me they didn't care. The last time I talked to them was I think September of last year. Where I straight ran from my house to them Screaming and crying With huge bruises telling them That I was going to die and a female Officer told me "Well that's not allowed to happen where I am from" And then gave me a whole lecture to either email them when in danger (not even kidding) or to call another department which is a hour away, And there isn't really a women's shelter near me. its 4 hours away. Maybe it was cause my dad was a respected cop that they dont care but idk

 

[alonely]

I'm assuming you're in the US? Have you looked here, or tried calling a domestic violence help line? They may be able to help you with the situation with the police and legal issues.

Advocates and Shelters

In this section, you can enter your state in the drop-down menu above to find a list of programs that can offer help/referrals to victims of abuse throughout the state. We list shelters, local programs and programs that serve the whole state. Please remember that shelters often provide many...

www.womenslaw.org

Not knowing your state/location (don't share here for your anonymity), it's hard to give specific advice. But, when i googled it, it gave me location-specific resources. Do you have friends or family or community or colleagues that might be able to help you get out?

 

[feder]

Fof the love of God just get out of that relationship asap.
People repeating the patterns they grew up with is normal and can be fixed. You don't have to stay in that relationship. Just give yourself time to heal the trauma your awful father has caused you. It's not easy at all but it's not impossible. If you do that I'm sure someone who genuinely cares about you will show up.
Wish you the best!

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry. You're situation sounds so frightening. Have you tried to contact the woman's shelter directly? It's appalling that the police won't help but there must be someone who will take notice. Does he work? Are there times you could get away unnoticed?

 

[Holu]

I want to say something, but I fear it's genuinely bad advice. Regardless, I'm very very sorry for the situation you're in. Honestly, people who abusive their partners deserve to have their stomach cut open and salt poured in.

Not to reiterate points, but is it possible to reach out to someone you could flee to? Idk how separated you are, since abusers tend to isolate their victims from family and friends.

And again, I'm really sorry. I know that means jack shit but still. The world, and the people who inhabit it are truly evil.

 

[pole]

I have probably gone to the police 5-6 (maybe more times) And was blown off I tried to get a restraining order and for some reason even when I told he was bothering me they didn't care. The last time I talked to them was I think September of last year. Where I straight ran from my house to them Screaming and crying With huge bruises telling them That I was going to die and a female Officer told me "Well that's not allowed to happen where I am from" And then gave me a whole lecture to either email them when in danger (not even kidding) or to call another department which is a hour away, And there isn't really a women's shelter near me. its 4 hours away. Maybe it was cause my dad was a respected cop that they dont care but idk

is it a small town where everyone knows each other?

 

[stage4johnny]

Im curious,could you indulge me for a second? If my q offends you,then just say so,I won't comment further!
Your bf is vile,wish u could shoot him!
But it seems there is a lot of resentment and hostility between different ethnic groups. Look at France! Look at my own USA! Look st Sweden! Look...you get the picture.
Are you two different ethnic groups, because people take out their shit on those close to them!???

 

[rizzpi]

I'm so sorry. You're situation sounds so frightening. Have you tried to contact the woman's shelter directly? It's appalling that the police won't help but there must be someone who will take notice. Does he work? Are there times you could get away unnoticed?

He doesn't work but he leaves for hours and another thing im scared of is a neighbor telling him if I leave or if there are secret cameras I dont know about or something.

Im curious,could you indulge me for a second? If my q offends you,then just say so,I won't comment further!
Your bf is vile,wish u could shoot him!
But it seems there is a lot of resentment and hostility between different ethnic groups. Look at France! Look at my own USA! Look st Sweden! Look...you get the picture.
Are you two different ethnic groups, because people take out their shit on those close to them!???

Well, if it helps, He is Hispanic and grew up in Illinois. And as far as I know his mother was indigenous and Hispanic. (Sorry if I don't use correct terms I've never been good at this type of thing) But yes, we are I am way white like the average white person.

is it a small town where everyone knows each other?

yeah, and it is like no one wants to bother. Can't blame them, I guess.

 

[Holu]

He doesn't work but he leaves for hours and another thing im scared of is a neighbor telling him if I leave or if there are secret cameras I dont know about or something.

Wtf is he leaving for hours for lmao. Also cameras are a maybe.

Idk. I wish I knew what to say. It's sounds like you need an escape plan on what to do after.

As for your car not reaching the shelter, is it possible to take a bus?

 

[𖣂𖣂𖣂.]

I have realized something. It is that I will never be able to get away. When I was a kid, my dad was a cop and used to beat me and my mom. and now I am stuck with a guy who sees nothing but an object. The past few days this is what we argued about.

1. I didn't want to get high with him. Got slapped and yelled at.
2. didn't want to watch him play a game harassed me saying I never cared about him That I cheated and That I hate him.
3. Told me I was being a bitch and that's why I got hit
4. Strangled me when we went to visit some family in the other room when I told him that I don't want to have kids with him.
5. in general he has lost his shit when I said I don't want kids. at this rate I don't even know if I could be pregnant or not.
6. Didn't want to do Intimate stuff and got told I was a whore and that I was made for it

At this point I have tried to leave Got told he would kill me and whoever I would get with. I have tried to tell the police A woman's shelter is like 4 hours away in a city and I know I won't make it. My car sucks. I am forever stuck till either he is fed up with me or I decide to ctb.

I have gone my whole life with no love. With no one to actually care about me.

Please leave I know people that are stuck in this situation right now as we are speaking. I tried helping them but all they did was making excuses for them. Please please get as far away as you can don't even confront him just get away from him. He sounds like he has unresolved issues and doesn't love himself and is asking you for answers. Also if you could live with a friend or family member that isn't from that town. If you do leave please make sure he doesn't know where your family lives.

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

I can't provide any useful advice. I hope you can get out of there soon.