I gave up and feel better than ever thanks to SN

[Candleburn]

I have my whole life tried to fix things, plan for the future, worried so much about the future etc. And everything have always screwed up anyway. My life really suck so I decided to give up and ordered some SN. And its so strange but I have felt better than ever since I placed the order. I dont care about the future anymore and i'm just living for the day. I know that I from now on can end it whenever I want which have taken all the worries for the future away. I dont feel locked in anymore, beacuse I can die whenver I want. There is from now on always a easy way out of this. I can eat candy for breakfast, because who cares if I get diabetes? I hate my job and are literaly afraid to go there but who cares? I can just die if I get to fed up one day. Im afraid to get even lonelier in the future, but who cares? I can just die if I get to lonely. I will probally use the SN one day so I don't need to care about anything anymore.

Anyone feel the same?

 

[bunny_brownie9]

yeah it's nice to know that it's there no problem, don't have to worry about sorting anything else out method wise, it's just there

 

[Candleburn]

yeah it's nice to know that it's there no problem, don't have to worry about sorting anything else out method wise, it's just there

Yes! And I dont need to sort life out anymore. I can just live for the day

 

[tronix]

I have this sense of comfort because of SN too. But still I don't feel happy enough to do anything. I'm thinking a lot about the breakup and what failure I am for thinking I could have it all.
I isolated myself, don't go out too much, don't take care of myself. Having SN for me feels like a way out of sadness, darkness... It's not giving me any superpowers, more like a solution.

 

[LOVELYDARKDEEP]

I know that I from now on can end it whenever I want which have taken all the worries for the future away. I dont feel locked in anymore, beacuse I can die whenver I want.

I feel the same way. I may actually end up pushing my CTB date out another few years - but if things go tits up and my quality of life degrades - well, there's a lot of security in knowing that I have the option to go out on a high note instead of getting drug along rock bottom for an indeterminate amount of time first.

You know that fiction trope where the hero gets captured and the torturer tells them that they can chose between a fast, merciful death or a slow, horrible one? Yeah, I don't have any strong enough attachments or convictions to pick the slow, noble end. Am I willing to endure all the agony of a miserable, drawn out death and all the agonies it entails just for funsies?

Hell no, or in other words,

 

[wiinterfrost]

yeah, i feel ya!
like anytime i think of my death i get kind of happy. and the more steps i take towards actualising this goal, the more i feel at peace with myself.
it's like, there's a solution, there's something to hold on to, yeah? something concrete. like having your own little superpower.

yeah, "power", i think that's it. like in having SN you now have the power to choose over your own death. you have the agency and it will work and no one can stop you. you have a fixed goal and no matter what you do, you can act out that goal, have a surefire way out.

so yeah... i get this. :)

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

I've felt way calmer since I assembled the whole exit package.

I'd rather choose to not exist at all but at least this provides some kind of switch off control for the life.

 

[rozeske]

Am happy you are able to get somewhat of a peace of mind. I wish you the best going forward

 

[LunarLight]

I'm excited about getting my SN. I just hope it's pure enough, the website didn't indicate if it was. But I really don't know if it's gonna give me a feeling of relief or if it's just gonna push me over the edge as soon as possible.

 

[lifewasawillow]

Yeah having an accessible method is a super relieving feeling, it's ironic how calming the ability of being able to end it all is. What country are you from that you ordered the sn in if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Roadrunner]

I totally feel the same

I have my whole life tried to fix things, plan for the future, worried so much about the future etc. And everything have always screwed up anyway. My life really suck so I decided to give up and ordered some SN. And its so strange but I have felt better than ever since I placed the order. I dont care about the future anymore and i'm just living for the day. I know that I from now on can end it whenever I want which have taken all the worries for the future away. I dont feel locked in anymore, beacuse I can die whenver I want. There is from now on always a easy way out of this. I can eat candy for breakfast, because who cares if I get diabetes? I hate my job and are literaly afraid to go there but who cares? I can just die if I get to fed up one day. Im afraid to get even lonelier in the future, but who cares? I can just die if I get to lonely. I will probally use the SN one day so I don't need to care about anything anymore.

Anyone feel the same?

 

[DogSandwich]

Yes. Now that I have my SN, I can just be. It's funny how having such a sure, easy out unlocks your life. Now I just do what I feel. It's peaceful.

 

[Helween]

i'm looking for ordering some too, my anxiety is through the roof lately.