Venting I fucking hate myself

[MulherSatanás]

I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. I always try to be a good person to others, but it's amazing how everyone disappoints me.
People who call themselves my friends, always make fun of my body (I'm a little overweight), call me "Thaís Carla" (a famous woman from Brazil who is obese) They compare me to mean things, and they call me different names that don't exactly have to do with my weight... like slut, prostitute, whore and others. Now the question is: "Why are you friends with them?" I sincerely do not know. I would say it's because I don't want to be alone... I mean, they're my only "friends" in my class.

I've had a lot of self-esteem problems for a long time... I've always been considered the "ugly friend", teenagers are always laughing at me on the street, no boy has ever liked me, I've always been teased a lot by others because of my appearance... I hate how I am, I hate everything about myself and I just want to be beautiful to others.
Recently, I haven't felt like eating, and I've only been drinking water. When I touch the food, I feel like throwing up... Honestly, I can't take it anymore. This makes me want to die even more, I just want to kill myself at once, honestly... but I can't. I need to be strong, because I promised it to someone.

I also find myself unbearable, irritating and many others. I hate my personality. I'm a very sociable person when I get intimate with someone, and I think that because of that, I push people away from me... or whatever. I never say anything wrong, I'm actually a very correct person (which makes me really angry sometimes). And also, I always try to help people with EVERYTHING, even when I'm not well at all. I'm someone who needs a lot of attention from people I consider special... this really frustrates me, but obviously, I keep it to myself. I never beg for attention, I never bring up this subject either.
Why don't people like me? What is wrong with me? I feel so disgusting being the way I am...

 

[Foreverix]

I don't think there's anything wrong with you. You're trying to be human and interact with others, and that's respectable. The so called friends act that way because they know they can take advantage of you and make jokes at your expense without you doing overly much about it. After all, you just want to be liked. They just want to feel better about themselves, and taking jabs at someone they don't respect is the salve they make for their own insecurities.

Personally, I'd tell them to go fuck themselves. Having no friends is better than a group that treats you like an emotional punching bag. I hope there is, or you find, at least one friend who not only likes you, but respects you. If you do find them, hold on to them. Life doesn't send good friends along often.

 

[garota suicida]

acho que a vida é muito injusta com as pessoas de bom coração. se doar tanto e não receber nada em troca nos magoa cada vez mais.

 

[SexyIncél]

To @FIlthyFrank666, who identified as @MulherSatanás's friend & got banned: I got your PM. Err... I'm not that person you guessed me to be. Just a literate internet rando who made a couple deductions

 

[annique]

acho que a vida é muito injusta com as pessoas de bom coração. se doar tanto e não receber nada em troca nos magoa cada vez mais.

infelizmente, concordo

um planeta injusto