I fit nowhere. No place to call my own

[Amnesiaisalloverme]

Everyone just hates me. I have no place in this society whatsoever. My beliefs are against these people. Im deemed a kafir for not performing and believing in their religious beliefs. But just the fact that their treatment helps me im forced to perform their prayers or get criticism 24/7 . People who i share ideology with donot remotely understands or believe that what is happening to me is real and their treatment works. They call it placebo when I m the person who wants to just get rid of it asap. I need no religious people help in the first place so its not a placebo. No one understands or believes me. Im a notorious mfcer on both sides. I stand at no place meanwhile my condition is not getting any better . Im in a severe conflict and i honestly has no way to solve it. I really wish to die soon as i see the massacre of evert aspect of my existence everyday. Im going to be left alone soon with no help from family as well on the hands of people i despise the most. I cant reconcile with the only person who had similar views bcz of the thing I'm suffering from? Hope to die soon . Amen
I have no authentic method or resource as i live with parents unemployed bcz of what i suffer from everyday.