I feel unworthy of being loved

[ComingUpRoses]

I've always heard that you can't love someone else without loving yourself. I don't know how true I really think that is. I can think of many people I love (my family/friends) but I absolutely hate myself. I feel like a useless garbage individual just taking up space. I want to CBT so badly but I'm too much of a coward to do anything about it. I spend every day just in bed with my thoughts racing about how much of a loser I am. At the end of the day what I desire more than anything is to have someone to share my love with- but I just can't imagine anyone would ever feel the same way about me. Everyone in my whole 22 years of existence that I've ever had feelings for has never felt the same way about me- and frankly I can't blame them. People tell me 'oh you're nice you'll meet someone eventually' and yet it hasn't happened, most people are nice, being nice isn't enough I feel. I'm a boring, ugly, useless piece of garbage with nothing going for them, why would anyone want to be with someone like me. Is this a stupid reason to want to CBT? I easily have the means to and yet I don't- perhaps in a few more weeks of this suffering I will. I'm just so tired of feeling so useless and unloveable- the only thing I can see that would make life worth living is being in love with someone and I just can't ever see that happening for me.

 

[bestroper]

I agree. The feeling of not being loved by anyone is so miserable.

 

[ExistHarm]

i felt the same way for a long time. i recently got out of a relationship that felt absolutely perfect, and in the end it has left me more broken than the start. i cannot convince you that it is better to have have never loved at all than to have loved and lost; it really is something you might have to learn the hard way.
there is no wrong reason to cbt; each person has an inviolable right to die. i...dont really know what else to say. i hope you can find peace in some way.

 

[ComingUpRoses]

i felt the same way for a long time. i recently got out of a relationship that felt absolutely perfect, and in the end it has left me more broken than the start. i cannot convince you that it is better to have have never loved at all than to have loved and lost; it really is something you might have to learn the hard way.
there is no wrong reason to cbt; each person has an inviolable right to die. i...dont really know what else to say. i hope you can find peace in some way.

im sorry that you're going through that.. it must be a horrible feeling. i understand what you're saying though, if somehow i ever do find someone i can imagine that when things inevitably go south id probably have no second thoughts about cbting. i do hope things improve for you though- much love my friend

 

[Linty Leans]

The base human desire to not be alone is something so simple yet so powerful. it's an irresistible impulse to seek someone, anyone to validate and appreciate your existence, feeding into an asinine cycle of chasing that which you know you're too weak to attain. i can't say whether or not i think this is worth ctbing over. i think that only you can really make that decision because your emotions are the only litmus test for whether your experiences have rendered your life no longer worth living. if you do decide to ctb, i think you're strong for making a choice. many people are too numb to even decide that for themselves, so standing up and deciding that your life has become devoid of any hope or value inherently takes strength on your part. if you decide to keep on going, i think your strong for continuing to survive even when faced with your own emotions. emotions are a real battleground, and i think you're a warrior for continuing to fight.

 

[Rational man]

I think there maybe some truth here, After all we place value on ourselves. So maybe its more difficult to love others. My narcissistic parents demeaned me at every level and i was abused. In another time they should have faced criminal action but anyhow i escaped at 18 and found myself. No reminders of how useless i am. Infact i did okay in self employment business and met someone who didn't judge me. And our relationship lasted two Years. I carry the scars of childhood until i die but at least i did find self- value. So as in so many cases, dont be the victim of someone else's pain.

 

[TakeMeBack07]

Im starting to believe love is an experience for the privileged, whether it's looks or money that gets you through the first door and gives you a chance. And for most, it just happens. It's brutal.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be painful what you have to go through and I believe the reality is that there could never be such a thing as a "stupid", reason for ctb. People should be able to exit this world whenever they want and it's completely up to them when to leave, nobody should have to suffer for any longer than they wish to in this cruel world. But the fact is that people certainly can be very disappointing anyway, you cannot trust and rely on them and often it just leads to more problems being around people.

 

[hellispink]

I used to wonder those things but as a grew older, i am mostly certain no one loves no one . People are forgotten and replaceable. Not because they say they love us mean they do. In reality no one truly cares or loves other people but themselves. Not everything is what it seems at all. Its a lonely world where we will all end up alone in a grave. So what i am missing nothing really because nothing is real at all

 

[Brokensoulwalking]

Been here so much.

I am drawn to those who are toxic and abuse me. That isn't love.

Love is for those who had those real perfect lives. I have chosen to stay alone, because even if you do find love, they always hurt you till you are no longer the same person.