Venting I feel trapped

[sillybillygo]

I tried hanging myself again last night and my mom made it a big deal about how I was doing it because I hate her. And we got in a physical alternation because I tried to keep the scarf I hanged my self with and she called the police on me and said I tried to kill myself and I told them I didn't so I wouldn't get locked away. But I hate this shitty shoebox apartment I'm trapped in and this shitty customer service job and my mom is forcing me to be alive not because she loves me but so I can suffer along side her and I resent her for it and I hate fighting with her. I know she's the reason I'm so screwed up. I hate myself and my life and I'm tried of looking at the same shit everyday and going on social media and dreaming I had someone else's life instead of being a stuck, broke loser. I feel like forcing someone to be alive is abuse and all she did was take photos and videos of me trying to end my life and fight with me. I wish I could smash her phone.

 

[hopelessgirl]

I feel trapped as well :-( I'm sorry

 

[grungeCat]

I'm so sorry something like that happened to you... It's very sad that our relatives can't understand how painful existence is for us, depressed and suicidal people. My mother also used to guilt-trap me like this... when she lived. Still, I loved her very much. I'm sorry that your mother is so harsh to you. Sending love

 

[FuneralCry]

We have the right to exit this world at a time of our choosing as we did not ask to exist in the first place. It is our life, our decision and nobody else has any say in it. I'm sorry you are suffering, I understand that feeling trapped can be awful. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[Hotsackage]

Ya only reason I'm not attempting is my mom

 

[forgotten15]

I am very sorry you are going through this.
Your mom has no right to ask you to remain in this world because that is not up to her. We don't owe anything to our parents or anyone else because we are the only ones that feel the pain, we don't share it with anyone, it's only ours to carry. So it's up to us when we decide we can't go through life carrying that pain and torment.

I realise ones decision to ctb will hurt other people, like family and friends, but that is not an argument to feel obligated to stay in this shit life if we get to a reaching point.
I hope you find peace no matter what path you will choose.