I feel too mentally disturbed to be functional

[LucieInTheDark]

It's a little hard to write this. I'm feeling like my collection of traumas and weird coping mechanisms and erratic behaviour is making me a very weird person. I'm addicted to attention, affection and I'm fascinated with death. I'm a bit scared of talking in depth about some of the things that worry me for fear of being involuntarily commited (again). I am not actively suicidal anymore but I don't know how to function normally in society, I can briefly put on a facade but it fades out quickly

 

[MegaGordo]

Do you ever write whatever comes to mind?

 

[LucieInTheDark]

Do you ever write whatever comes to mind?

I mean I do. Some people say I share far too much with anybody

 

[MegaGordo]

I mean I do. Some people say I share far too much with anybody

There's an exercise I was introduced to from that book from years ago titled THE ARTIST"S WAY. It's called the Morning Pages exercise. It goes like this: For fifteen minutes, or until you fill up 3 pages, just write...no censoring, editing, correcting, nothing. Just keep the pen on the paper and keep it moving. It empties out all the superfluous crap and eventually you get to the real stuff. Nice to get whatever bugs us or delights us on paper, I find. I think there's a Japanese therapy which is similar called Morita Therapy. Interesting.

 

[LucieInTheDark]

There's an exercise I was introduced to from that book from years ago titled THE ARTIST"S WAY. It's called the Morning Pages exercise. It goes like this: For fifteen minutes, or until you fill up 3 pages, just write...no censoring, editing, correcting, nothing. Just keep the pen on the paper and keep it moving. It empties out all the superfluous crap and eventually you get to the real stuff. Nice to get whatever bugs us or delights us on paper, I find. I think there's a Japanese therapy which is similar called Morita Therapy. Interesting.

I'm going to get a nice pen and try that. I already tried journaling and I feel like it helps a bit in expressing myself

 

[MegaGordo]

I'm going to get a nice pen and try that. I already tried journaling and I feel like it helps a bit in expressing myself

We are a language and symbol-using species. We might as well explore those forms and see what comes out. I love Natalie Goldberg's exercises in WRITING DOWN THE BONES. They're get. She wrote a couple of follow-up books on writing too which are also good. Brenda Ueland's IF YOU WANT TO BE A WRITER is a classic too. But in AR, it might be difficult to get. Check out archive.org to see about all sorts (millions!) od free resources. It'll blow your mind. Almost moved to AR years ago. Taught myself spanish there. Very memorable experiences I should write about. Lived in Recoleta. I love the Lunfardo insult "manicero malcriado" Haha. Does it really mean "Ill-bred peanut dick"? Hahaha

 

[LucieInTheDark]

We are a language and symbol-using species. We might as well explore those forms and see what comes out. I love Natalie Goldberg's exercises in WRITING DOWN THE BONES. They're get. She wrote a couple of follow-up books on writing too which are also good. Brenda Ueland's IF YOU WANT TO BE A WRITER is a classic too. But in AR, it might be difficult to get. Check out archive.org to see about all sorts (millions!) od free resources. It'll blow your mind. Almost moved to AR years ago. Taught myself spanish there. Very memorable experiences I should write about. Lived in Recoleta. I love the Lunfardo insult "manicero malcriado" Haha. Does it really mean "Ill-bred peanut dick"? Hahaha

Haha, it actually means something like "pampered peanut dick", to call the person both a failure of a man and a manchildren at the same time

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Did you considered taking medication and psychotherapy?

 

[LucieInTheDark]

Did you considered taking medication and psychotherapy?

I'm looking to restart psychotherapy soon
As for medication, I currently take 225mg venlafaxine for depression

 

[summers]

I can briefly put on a facade but it fades out quickly

The more you do this, the easier it gets, and the better you get at it. I am literally a shell of a person because someone very close to me ctb'd last week. I still cry every day. But I had a family member visiting me, and you would think I was happy and everything was fine. Same thing with knowing my trip is scheduled and coming up a little later this year. Just keep going and putting on a happy face, Save the tears for when I'm alone.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I'm looking to restart psychotherapy soon
As for medication, I currently take 225mg venlafaxine for depression

OK good. And it helps you?