I feel the only purpose to life is to be a number to justify things

[Tintypographer]

My life, my career, my work, even my interactions is there to justify things and be a headcount or eyeball. I feel that the strongest reason people dislike suicide is that letting this form of control be owned by an individual actually takes away control over someone else from another. If you have the ability to simply disappear and not be reached or raised then the last ace or trump card is yours. Whatever debts, promises, expectations, i dotting or t-crossing, last minute needs or justifications you were under dependency to do for someone else is now wholly not your problem. I don't think society can handle the idea that you have turned their expected outcomes into something that can never be your problem again. You don't have to justify things, you don't have to answer questions, you don't have to tell someone no and have them refuse to take no for an answer, you can't be an eyeball or a click, you won't ever schedule a call with them, you won't even work on their behalf. You're free. I don't think that freedom is something that people are willing to let someone like me have.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It certainly feels that way. I've been freelance for quite a while- so I have to file tax returns. (Which I utterly detest.) Trying to get affairs in order- so if I do CTB, the family members left (who live hundreds of miles away) won't have to deal with it. Thought I'd better check if they come looking for taxes after your death- and- of course they do... I've gathered all the stuff together, so that if I'm able to go before April- it can go to my solicitor and then presumably to an accountant or something.

That's the problem though- this shit doesn't just end when you die- quite often, your family end up having to deal with it. Think maybe I should even pay off my new phone contract if I do CTB- because that's a type of loan. I agree though- we're just numbers on a spreadsheet at the end of the day.

 

[FuneralCry]

Very true. I always admire those who free themselves from this society that is so focused on prolonging life and places so much emphasis on it. Suicide literally solves everything as it removes the true cause of all problems in the first place which is life itself, and all that life is, is just an meaningless concept which serves no purpose other than to create unnecessary problems that just endlessly repeat. I see no value in continuing to stay here and suffer day after day, the non existent have nothing to worry about and they have no concerns which is why the thought of being dead is so ideal to me.

 

[TakeMeBack07]

Reminds me of ecclesiastes