Venting I feel so worthless.

[Lullaby]

Sometimes I really feel like there's stickers all over my body just advertising that I'm an idiot and easy to manipulate. It really feels like no one cares about me.

Made a group of friends last year, but it seemed like they were more annoyed at me being around. I would disappear and no one would notice or reach out.

I had one close friend recently admit feelings for me, and I was going to have a conversation about maybe making things official but now he's suddenly super busy and I can't help but feel it's me again somehow, or that he was just lying. I could be overreacting, but after being screwed over so many times, it's really just what I expect the outcome to be.

I feel like such a placeholder, or a doormat for everyone that comes through my life…I thought I had gotten better at protecting myself and not caring.

My dad and my cat are the only two in my life that I feel genuine love from, and most days I feel like even they deserve better than me. A lot of times I genuinely feel like I was a mistake, like I'm not supposed to be here and that's why no one wants me around.

This probably could've gone into my journal, but I figured folks here might relate.

 

[Why Me?]

Sometimes I really feel like there's stickers all over my body just advertising that I'm an idiot and easy to manipulate. It really feels like no one cares about me.

Made a group of friends last year, but it seemed like they were more annoyed at me being around. I would disappear and no one would notice or reach out.

I had one close friend recently admit feelings for me, and I was going to have a conversation about maybe making things official but now he's suddenly super busy and I can't help but feel it's me again somehow, or that he was just lying. I could be overreacting, but after being screwed over so many times, it's really just what I expect the outcome to be.

I feel like such a placeholder, or a doormat for everyone that comes through my life…I thought I had gotten better at protecting myself and not caring.

My dad and my cat are the only two in my life that I feel genuine love from, and most days I feel like even they deserve better than me. A lot of times I genuinely feel like I was a mistake, like I'm not supposed to be here and that's why no one wants me around.

This probably could've gone into my journal, but I figured folks here might relate.

The "I'm an idiot and easy to manipulate" energy is something that I've had growing up, and when you don't know about narcissistic personalities and how they prey on people like that, it makes it easier for them. All I can suggest is that you:

1. Recognize that there's an innocence about you that can be used to help other people, even though it makes you prey for a lot of people. You are unique and if you figure out how to use that to your benefit and to the benefit of others, it can give you purpose.

2. Accept that most (not all, but most) people are phony and selfish, and do not allow your feelings to get hurt by this while letting time reveal good lasting people in your life.

3. Research narcissistic personalities, because most people are narcs and will choose you as a "supply" but you can recognize the red flags, and save yourself a lot of pain. I recommend watching this guy's videos, he's giving me great insight and healing. He teaches you to be strong against the type of people that will take advantage.

 

[Glowarm]

I can relate feeling as though you're somehow not enough or just a bother to people. It's a really crappy feeling and I'm really truly sorry that you're feeling like that.

 

[Lullaby]

The "I'm an idiot and easy to manipulate" energy is something that I've had growing up, and when you don't know about narcissistic personalities and how they prey on people like that, it makes it easier for them. All I can suggest is that you:

1. Recognize that there's an innocence about you that can be used to help other people, even though it makes you prey for a lot of people. You are unique and if you figure out how to use that to your benefit and to the benefit of others, it can give you purpose.

2. Accept that most (not all, but most) people are phony and selfish, and do not allow your feelings to get hurt by this while letting time reveal good lasting people in your life.

3. Research narcissistic personalities, because most people are narcs and will choose you as a "supply" but you can recognize the red flags, and save yourself a lot of pain. I recommend watching this guy's videos, he's giving me great insight and healing. He teaches you to be strong against the type of people that will take advantage.

I'll give it a watch today, thank you for this.

I grew up with a massive narcissist, you would think I'd be able to pinpoint them by now but I still allow them to slip through. I'm still learning and trying to remind myself their toxicity is a reflection of them and not me.

 

[its-about-time]

Yeah. Feel worthless and far less important to others than they are to me. Absolutely unlovable. A burden on anyone who tries to care about me. know it's all in my head but what difference does that make if I can't change it? Sorry you feel this way too, it's shitty.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are going through this, it must be really awful feeling like that. I hope you find relief from your suffering.

 

[Worndown]

We all have value to someone. We generally do not see it and can consider ourselves worthless.
That said, there are people out there that thrive on bullying those they believe to have doubt or weaknesses. We should all try to stay away from those people.