Venting i feel so resentful of my friends

[shadows_and_silence]

i know this is like incredibly selfish (and if anything it's just making me hate myself more) but I'm starting to get so resentful of my friends for their lives going so much better than mine. just recently, my friend got her old best friend back in her life while I'm sitting here with no one close to me to be around. all of my friends complain about having no support systems but they easily talk about their problems with others and every single time i do I'm either shut down, insulted, or threatened with hospitalization and I'm so tired of it.

i feel so horrible because deep down I'm very happy for my friends when good things happen to them because i like seeing them happy, but at the same time why do i have to be the one sitting here as life gets worse and worse while theirs only get better? i know it's not their fault, but jesus..

 

[DivineSpark]

I dont want to look up to my old friends....because, I start comparing my achievements and life to theirs. That makes me feel like loser, seeing their successful careers and such.

 

[tiredash]

i also feel resentful for other people who have things that i need...

 

[dontwakemeup]

I'm sorry you feel like your unable to share your complaints and feel like your friends are happy and you aren't. Remember this, that is YOUR perception of their lives, doesn't make it true! I use to feel the same way as you do now. After having more deeper conversations with my friends whom I assumed had a great life...I realized, they were in reality worse off than me! I also realized I was more vocal and honest with my situations at first. Once they pulled back the layers, i begin to realize how much better my horrible life was and begin to appreciate it.

I say this because I experienced the same feelings, same emotions. Just because someone smiles doesn't mean they are happy. The loudest person in the room is usually the saddest. Try not to measure yourself to others. Create your own lane! If you can't be honest with your friends, are they truly your friends? You can decide that. Make new friends, create new memories! Don't let anyone silence you! Best wishes to you

 

[jernmo]

I can relate, my friend recently got a romantic partner for the first time ever and I am so hurt. It is hard for me to put into words but I would like to suffer with someone else rather than alone. I feel like a complete mess right now and as if I will never be able to accomplish what others around me have.

 

[sickofwaiting]

i feel that way too. sometimes i look at my friends and wonder wether i'd be this miserable if i had the same things they do. they've got a lot of things i wish for, by chance it seems. idk why i was given the short end of the stick

 

[shadows_and_silence]

idk why i was given the short end of the stick

this is something i relate to a lot
why did i have to be the one born into the family i did? why did everything have to happen in a way that made me the "traumatised friend"? why did my life situation have to be so uniquely fucked up that everyone that hears about it either never wants to talk to me again or keeps me around soley out of pity? i hate it and just wanna live a normal life

 

[divinemistress36]

Im envious of those with strong friendships to

 

[Hotsackage]

O mine have had it way easier, not that I care, I'm happy for them, but don't lecture me on hard work. I get wat uf saying

 

[Ferret77]

i know this is like incredibly selfish (and if anything it's just making me hate myself more) but I'm starting to get so resentful of my friends for their lives going so much better than mine. just recently, my friend got her old best friend back in her life while I'm sitting here with no one close to me to be around. all of my friends complain about having no support systems but they easily talk about their problems with others and every single time i do I'm either shut down, insulted, or threatened with hospitalization and I'm so tired of it.

i feel so horrible because deep down I'm very happy for my friends when good things happen to them because i like seeing them happy, but at the same time why do i have to be the one sitting here as life gets worse and worse while theirs only get better? i know it's not their fault, but jesus..

Hey, I know what it's like....I don't have a lot of friends right now, only online, but every time I had them, I still felt and feel resentful and jealous, when good stuff happens to them, even if Its just as stupid as going out with their friends. I feel left out and so sad that I'm missing so many life experiences. Then I feel even worse, like I'm a bad person, because I know they're my friends and I want good things to happen to them, obviously. I think Its normal tho, please try to not feel so bad about it (that you feel that way), because I'm sure you care about your friends but your feelings are perfectly valid and you're not a bad person for feeling this way

 

[lawr]

I can somewhat relate. I have had the same close friend group since childhood, and I have watched as they grew up facing little to zero hardship and trauma, and developed into self-actualized and healthy people now that we are all adults. Meanwhile, I am the only one in the group who faced trauma and neglect as a child and throughout life, and I am the only one in the group who struggles with depression and does nothing with their life, though they don't know this about me as I keep it a secret. While I love my friends and I will always first and foremost be happy for them as opposed to jealous, I sometimes curse the fact that others have been able to coast through life seamlessly because they had stable lives and people who cared for them growing up while I didn't.

 

[shadows_and_silence]

I feel left out and so sad that I'm missing so many life experiences.

oh i definitely get this feeling, i really wish my high school days weren't wasted being mentally ill otherwise i might actually be somewhere in life right now

Meanwhile, I am the only one in the group who faced trauma and neglect as a child and throughout life, and I am the only one in the group who struggles with depression and does nothing with their life, though they don't know this about me as I keep it a secret.

i relate to my extent, most of my friendships haven't lasted super long though. pretty much everyone I've been friends with has said that so many aspects of my life are just completely fucked up and i hate that i have to be the freak in the group that's super traumatized