Wails
Ghostly wailing
- Jan 16, 2022
- 72
This is my first thread, so please forgive me for bad editing or writing.
I have a fixed ctb date which is approximately 2 months away. I had this date on my mind for more than six months now, since my previous ctb attempt. I wanted to give myself adequate time to tie up all the loose ends. I wanted to clean my room completely, donate my clothes and keep all my important belongings aside so that my parents could have them. But I haven't done any of those. I kept feeling exhausted and now the tiredness is increasing even more. I am worried I will leave a mess behind when I ctb. I want to not cause any inconvenience to others and I don't know what to do.
Living till the decided date feels so hard. I wish I had a friend who understood me and helped me clean up a bit.
I vacuumed my room today which made my body just shut off for hours. I hate my body and myself so much. I hope I can go through my plan and clean everything up before then :(
I have a fixed ctb date which is approximately 2 months away. I had this date on my mind for more than six months now, since my previous ctb attempt. I wanted to give myself adequate time to tie up all the loose ends. I wanted to clean my room completely, donate my clothes and keep all my important belongings aside so that my parents could have them. But I haven't done any of those. I kept feeling exhausted and now the tiredness is increasing even more. I am worried I will leave a mess behind when I ctb. I want to not cause any inconvenience to others and I don't know what to do.
Living till the decided date feels so hard. I wish I had a friend who understood me and helped me clean up a bit.
I vacuumed my room today which made my body just shut off for hours. I hate my body and myself so much. I hope I can go through my plan and clean everything up before then :(