Venting I feel so lonely today...

[TeenIdle]

Does it happen to you that you see someone with a better life and you envy them and start feeling really bad about yourself?

I have a friend who is very cheerful, happy, sociable, has lots of friends, lots of charisma, he is easily liked, has a great relationship with his family, knows what he wants in life and what he doesn't... I envy him so much, I wish I was like that, but my avoidant personality disorder fucks me up and I can't make friends easily neither have a normal life :(

Seeing him doing it all effortless makes me envy him and feel really bad and lonely from time to time... :( Does it happen to someone else?

 

[falloutcarter13]

I think we all feel lonely to an extent, which is why we ended up where we are in life, at the point of death. You found a great community full of people who understand what you're going through here though, so take advantage of it! We're here for you and we care =)

 

[airboy_a380]

I think we all feel lonely to an extent, which is why we ended up where we are in life, at the point of death. You found a great community full of people who understand what you're going through here though, so take advantage of it! We're here for you and we care =)

U seem like a nice guy with always something helpful to say. Would you mind to PM me for a bit?

 

[falloutcarter13]

U seem like a nice guy with always something helpful to say. Would you mind to PM me for a bit?

Sure, hmu when you have pm privileges

 

[airboy_a380]

Sure, hmu when you have pm privileges

Yeah I just joined today. Was just a quick question I'll post it here. I found a supplier of SN. And like you I'm broke. Is SN alone enough to CTB?

 

[falloutcarter13]

Yeah I just joined today. Was just a quick question I'll post it here. I found a supplier of SN. And like you I'm broke. Is SN alone enough to CTB?

The prep drugs are recommended to make the process as easy and comfortable as possible. They're not necessary, SN is fatal on its own...its just a matter of holding it down without an antiemetic. The benzos to relax, the antiemetic to potentially help with nausea, and the antacid to increase the rate of absorption are all highly recommended for a reason...but if you don't have access to them, SN will still be fatal if you can take enough of it and keep it down long enough.

 

[airboy_a380]

Does it happen to you that you see someone with a better life and you envy them and start feeling really bad about yourself?

I have a friend who is very cheerful, happy, sociable, has lots of friends, lots of charisma, he is easily liked, has a great relationship with his family, knows what he wants in life and what he doesn't... I envy him so much, I wish I was like that, but my avoidant personality disorder fucks me up and I can't make friends easily neither have a normal life :(

Seeing him doing it all effortless makes me envy him and feel really bad and lonely from time to time... :( Does it happen to someone else?

Yes between me and my sister. For a while I had it all, worked in one of the best airlines in the world, travelled a lot, and I was the most accomplished member of the family. When depression kicked in 5 years ago I quit it all, suddenly my sister became the star of the family, she has a house a husband, a car and just had a baby. And I became the dark sheep. I wouldn't say I'm jealous of her. More like I hate myself for having this disease.

The prep drugs are recommended to make the process as easy and comfortable as possible. They're not necessary, SN is fatal on its own...its just a matter of holding it down without an antiemetic. The benzos to relax, the antiemetic to potentially help with nausea, and the antacid to increase the rate of absorption are all highly recommended for a reason...but if you don't have access to them, SN will still be fatal if you can take enough of it and keep it down long enough.

Benzos I have plenty and anti acid it's easy to get. Thanks bud! I'm so ready!

 

[TeenIdle]

Yes between me and my sister. For a while I had it all, worked in one of the best airlines in the world, travelled a lot, and I was the most accomplished member of the family. When depression kicked in 5 years ago I quit it all, suddenly my sister became the star of the family, she has a house a husband, a car and just had a baby. And I became the dark sheep. I wouldn't say I'm jealous of her. More like I hate myself for having this disease.

I'm so sorry you lost it all to depression, it sucks :( I hope you get better

 

[BrokenLine]

Yes. its why I stopped going to social situation. I noticed the people i was with would gain something because of it a job, partner and i always lost something. I don't like being alone but nothing I do has changed that.

 

[Anthagonos]

Does it happen to you that you see someone with a better life and you envy them and start feeling really bad about yourself?

I have a friend who is very cheerful, happy, sociable, has lots of friends, lots of charisma, he is easily liked, has a great relationship with his family, knows what he wants in life and what he doesn't... I envy him so much, I wish I was like that, but my avoidant personality disorder fucks me up and I can't make friends easily neither have a normal life :(

Seeing him doing it all effortless makes me envy him and feel really bad and lonely from time to time... :( Does it happen to someone else?

Some days ago I saw an old girl that isbthe sister of a friend. I refused to start a relationship with her and I saw she was pregnant and with his husband.
That hurted me a lot because the husband could be me and his child could be mine. Several years later I still dont understand why I refused her.

I havent even had my first gf. What a fucking disaster.

Yes. its why I stopped going to social situation. I noticed the people i was with would gain something because of it a job, partner and i always lost something. I don't like being alone but nothing I do has changed that.

To me it happens the same. I avoid any social situation because the people I was with have got something while I am almost in the same situation as several years before. But avoiding social contact I know get the things worse.

 

[TheSoundofTime]

Does it happen to you that you see someone with a better life and you envy them and start feeling really bad about yourself?

I have a friend who is very cheerful, happy, sociable, has lots of friends, lots of charisma, he is easily liked, has a great relationship with his family, knows what he wants in life and what he doesn't... I envy him so much, I wish I was like that, but my avoidant personality disorder fucks me up and I can't make friends easily neither have a normal life :(

Seeing him doing it all effortless makes me envy him and feel really bad and lonely from time to time... :( Does it happen to someone else?

I would be carefull about envying someone. At first glance people appear to be happy, when you look deeper - there is most definitelly some problem in life. No one gets away from that imo. I am not saying your friend is not who he/she appears to be but there is no light without shadow. Look at some of us. Some of us (I think honestly) are keeping our troubles out of other people and we "hang around" in such circles like @sancioned suicide...... The water is deep but might seem shallow.
My honest advice - live YOUR life, your are amazing human being in every sense (and that applies to everyone here) :)

 

[BrokenLine]

Some days ago I saw an old girl that isbthe sister of a friend. I refused to start a relationship with her and I saw she was pregnant and with his husband.
That hurted me a lot because the husband could be me and his child could be mine. Several years later I still dont understand why I refused her.

I havent even had my first gf. What a fucking disaster.

To me it happens the same. I avoid any social situation because the people I was with have got something while I am almost in the same situation as several years before. But avoiding social contact I know get the things worse.

Yes I know, but now I am left with no one. The worse it got i started to try harder then harder then those people every time started to use me. I don't like being alone I hate the loneliness it crushes me, its killing me and every time it kills more.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

same tbh. No relationships, limited friends and no social skills. I feel so isolated.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I'm lonely, too. It's been a long, lonely life. Not sure how much more of this I can take.

 

[BrokenLine]

I'm lonely, too. It's been a long, lonely life. Not sure how much more of this I can take.

Sorry to hear that, because being in the same place i really don't want someone else being in that place.

 

[Anthagonos]

Yes I know, but now I am left with no one. The worse it got i started to try harder then harder then those people every time started to use me. I don't like being alone I hate the loneliness it crushes me, its killing me and every time it kills more.

I has spent my life almost alone. Now I realize it hurted to me a lot. Loneliness kills but I wasnt aware of it. I had several oportunities to build a family with a woman but I rejected all the oportunities I thought it was due because all the examples of family I saw at home were very conflictive examples and I never thought about family about a happy entity.

same tbh. No relationships, limited friends and no social skills. I feel so isolated.

Some months ago I tried to enter in contact again with the group of friends I had at high school and they refused me...

 

[BrokenLine]

I has spent my life almost alone. Now I realize it hurted to me a lot. Loneliness kills but I wasnt aware of it. I had several oportunities to build a family with a woman but I rejected all the oportunities I thought it was due because all the examples of family I saw at home were very conflictive examples and I never thought about family about a happy entity.

Yes being along you may never think about it if it suits you, its when you realize or the first time the loneliness hits you you realize there's a big difference. One is the choice you can make the other is a situation you find yourself in. One doesn't need to lead to the other but can, and one you may choose because of the other.

I've never really had that opportunity to have a family, but yes examples were a concern to me.

 

[waterbottleman]

Sometimes I feel envious when I see a woman I wanna have sex with but I can't.

Just today I was walking around outside doing some errands/enjoying the sun and I saw this one sexy Asian girl, looked like she was in her early 20s wearing somewhat of a dark blue short skirt with a cute top and long thick dark hair. I was walking far away behind her and she had these gorgeous legs. Some primal thoughts were going through my mind (don't worry, even though I was creepin on her by checking out her legs longer than what is polite I was well over 100 ft away from her at least, directly behind her, it's the middle of the day on a side walk so even if she did notice I was looking at her which I doubt she wouldn't felt in danger).

But that won't happen, so yeah sucks but whatever.

I also saw another Asian woman who caught my eye at the park. She looked to be in her early 30s, slightly older than myself, was wearing this really nice looking summer dress, had that big summer hat thing, and a summer umbrella, the dress was showing some cleavage too. You could tell she put effort into her appearance, she didn't just throw a dress on and go to the park. She looked so beautiful and sexy in an elegant sense. When I first saw her I legitimately thought "Wow." I don't see women dress like that often and pull it off so well as she did.

I wanted to give her a compliment and tell her that I thought she looked beautiful in that dress, but unfortunately she turned a corner and walked in a different direction right when I was about to say something to her. If only I had gotten to that spot a few seconds earlier, oh well.

In that case I'm not envious at all about her, I'm envious I didn't get the opportunity to let her know how pretty I thought she looked =D

 

[Emily123]

Does it happen to you that you see someone with a better life and you envy them and start feeling really bad about yourself?

I have a friend who is very cheerful, happy, sociable, has lots of friends, lots of charisma, he is easily liked, has a great relationship with his family, knows what he wants in life and what he doesn't... I envy him so much, I wish I was like that, but my avoidant personality disorder fucks me up and I can't make friends easily neither have a normal life :(

Seeing him doing it all effortless makes me envy him and feel really bad and lonely from time to time... :( Does it happen to someone else?

i feel very sorry about myself anytime that I see that other girls are pretty and happy . i love all of them but i always ask myself why i look like this . why i am in the wrong body . why i should hide my ugliness all the time . i hate my body more than anything else in the world and it will be my freedom anytime that i destroy it . i am a coward but i have a feeling that I am very close to the end

 

[TeenIdle]

i feel very sorry about myself anytime that I see that other girls are pretty and happy . i love all of them but i always ask myself why i look like this . why i am in the wrong body . why i should hide my ugliness all the time . i hate my body more than anything else in the world and it will be my freedom anytime that i destroy it . i am a coward but i have a feeling that I am very close to the end

I'm sorry you feel that way too, Emily :( I'm pretty sure you are an incredible girl though, but its hard to see it in our situation.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I envy other people from time to time.
However I'm also aware of my shortcomings.

I believe everything has a method,
It's like you follow the recipe, you will have a cake.
Seek change, follow through, you should be able to get hold of things you value.