Venting I feel so lonely and low

[ThatStateOfMind]

I feel so lonely. Anyone who read my last post knows about the breakup with my ex, and about how she's now talking to my friend.

She messaged me this morning and made sure I'm okay. I guess I should be happy she cares and still messages me but I feel like she is acting like she cares. I can't put my finger on why it feels disingenuous, maybe it's the briefness and abbreviation of it. It read exactly, "U doing okay?" I know before our breakup, her texts normally didn't use abbreviations, and instead of emojis now, she uses emoticons, like ":)" and stuff like that. I don't know, I feel lonely, I feel like nobody really cares and I feel so close to ending it.

It's crazy, I can go from feeling great to feeling awful so quickly. I tested partial and I still can't get over SI and the weird sensations that come along with it, and I'm fairly certain I'm doing it right. Mostly everything feels tingly and I hate the sensation.

I don't know, I'm so attached to this ex and it's so hard to let go, I don't wanna let go at all. She said she still has feelings for me but I shouldn't hold my breath and prepare for the worst if she doesn't break up with him and I can't. I can't at all, no matter how hard I've tried. I still love and care so deeply. Our breakup was so sudden and I at least wanna stay friends but I don't know. She says she hasn't truly moved on and he's just a rebound but I'm so worried that she stays with him and I lose the best thing I ever had.

I truly want this pain to end, I don't want to miss her anymore.

 

[BBBB]

I am so sorry. I'm dealing with a break up as well, so in
I'm so sorry. I'm dealing with a break up issue as well. I'm all alone now; not one person to talk to. My heart physically hurts
I can't stand the pain much longer!

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I am so sorry. I'm dealing with a break up as well, so in

I'm sorry for you as well. If you don't mind me asking, how long were you guys together? I was with my ex for a year and a few months, doesn't sound like much but we practically spent all of our free time together, she stayed the night almost every night, so we got super close in that time.

Either way, I hope things go alright for you.

 

[Lone_Traveler90]

Pain of losing your girl is unbearable...I am right where you are. If you wanna talk, drop me a message.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Pain of losing your girl is unbearable...I am right where you are. If you wanna talk, drop me a message.

It's not even losing her that hurt the most, it's the fact that she's dating who I used to consider my best friend. One who trash talked me throughout my relationship with her, she never really said anything because they're coworkers tho.

 

[asterisk3]

It's not even losing her that hurt the most, it's the fact that she's dating who I used to consider my best friend. One who trash talked me throughout my relationship with her, she never really said anything because they're coworkers tho.

Yeah, brutal. Men are always at each other's throats when it comes to this sort of thing... always have been. I'm surprised you're not feeling (or at least it doesn't seem like) that much anger. Her fault she let it lead to this in this sort of way, but it doesn't seem like she respected you enough anyway not to do this in your face in the end.

I know this is painful to say. But it's what I see reading your words. You deserve better than this man. What that girl is doing is the definition of monkey branching. It's playing with your mind, and she knows it. People like this know what they do.

I'm so sorry for this but it needs to be said. I hate seeing guys go through what I have. The pain will not end until you let go, but part of that is understanding why she did this to you. Your feelings are not toys.

Best of luck. If my remarks are insensitive I apologize again, but your posts resonated with some of my past so much that I couldn't read your threads and not say anything.

Fuck this stupid planet

 

[hellispink]

she is just using manipulation. You ain't second option to no one. If i was you i wouldnt even answer her messages because she doesn't seem to care and she has the audicity to ask u if you okay like thats a bit crazy. Accepting that she wont come back and deciding from there is what i would do if i was in the position

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I don't have any real words of wisdom to offer here....just please don't act while you're still feeling this raw. Sit with the feelings some more time and then reassess.

 

[stermc]

I am going to tell you a little bit about my story because I used to feel like that about my break up.
I started dating my first (and only) boyfriend (now ex) in 2016. It was what I would call a great relationship. We had our ups and downs. We stayed together for 5 years. He was never the kind of guy I had always wanted, but still I got emotionally attached to him deeply.
He broke up with me in 2021. I remember I felt like it was sudden, but things were not going great before that. I used to ask him if anything was wrong, so we could make it work, but he would say everything was fine. He treated me like the love of his life even in the day he broke up with me.
When I lost him, I lost my sanity. I didn't know who I was without that guy. I even ended up on a psych ward for 2 months.
That was when I found myself and realized I was being, for 5 years, what he wanted me to be.
I remember the feeling I had. That we were twin flames and all that bullshit. I was SURE I would never stop loving him.
And then, I didn't love him anymore. I totally focused on myself and broke every kind of contact (that was hard because he is also my cousin lol), and suddenly I felt relief. I had no feelings for him.

I saw him at a bar some months later and he told me he still loved me. That he broke up with me because he needed to focus on work (that's a good one).
And you know what I felt? I felt nothing. I simply said: "it will pass" (just like the priest in fleabag). And man, he was so right when he said that.
I know you are suicidal and depressed and I am so sorry you are going through all of this, but I have always been too and I did it! You can do this.

Also, don't get me wrong, but talking to your friend after breaking up with you? Saying she still has feelings?
It does not add up.

There are some good people in this world, even if it's a damaged world. There are good people.
And that love you have inside yourself should go only to yourself and to good people.

I wish you peace and wisdom to deal with all of this.

 

[BBBB]

You're in my thoughts! I can't stand the
I can't stand the pain anymore either!

 

[jay308]

break ups are difficult but worst are the divorce - when you have kids and assets together. I have faced both. I understand the pain but you gotta move on doesn't matter how hard it is.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be hard to deal with being in that situation, and I get that loneliness can certainly be painful for many people. I just think that after all, it's such a cruel and disappointing existence, it's terrible when what we go through just continues to go wrong and get worse. But anyway, I wish you the best in whatever happens going forward.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I hope you feel better today.