I feel so fucking stupid

[bitcrush]

About a month ago my SN came in, but all my suicidal thoughts and depression completely vanished after it arrived. I threw it out a week ago thinking that maybe shit could change but it's all coming back now. I want to die just as bad as before if not more. I just feel like a fucking idiot right now. I should be dead

 

[TheHolySword]

If it left once it can still leave again. It's okay to keep a method on hand if you want, but if your interest is recovery then you don't have to keep an exit strategy. I hope you are able to find your peace in some way though.

 

[needthebus]

About a month ago my SN came in, but all my suicidal thoughts and depression completely vanished after it arrived. I threw it out a week ago thinking that maybe shit could change but it's all coming back now. I want to die just as bad as before if not more. I just feel like a fucking idiot right now. I should be dead

You're not an idiot. We all do things and feel like it was the wrong decision later some of the time.

I'm sorry you feel so bad. We all deal with regrets. You don't need to feel bad about having done that. I'm sorry you feel sad.