Venting i feel so empty

[Verklempt]

for the past couple of days, i feel so empty. even though i feel pain and a heavy feeling weighing me down, i feel so empty, so numb. i've been on the verge of tears to just straight crying my heart out for no reason. the tears would go on and on and if i thought it was over, it keep going. i want to do something, i feel like i have to do something but, nothing interests me. locking myself in my room all day avoiding any social interactions as i can, since i have no energy to socialize. having no appetite to eat but still forced myself to somehow fill the emptiness i was feeling. i've been laying on my bed looking up at my ceiling crying, questioning my whole existence. asking myself, "when will this end?" "when will all of this end?"
i'm going to regret posting this, ha.

 

[gambardella]

I go through this a lot too. I know it's hard but breaking this depressed cycle helps. Get up, take a shower, eat something (could be as much as one fruit), interact with family or friends - you might still feel empty talking with people but at least it'll keep you from ruminating for hours. For my case I know that eternally staying in my room worsens my symptoms. Try to do activities you like somewhere else too (i.e, if you like to read go to the library or just the living room). Writing also helps.

 

[DepressedAngel]

You are definitely not alone in feeling this way. When I was a lot worse it felt like this for weeks. Ever since @Tearygirl decided to ctb I have felt the same as you. Would it help to maybe try eating some food, treat yourself a little bit and just practice some self care like showering, etc? I hope you feel a little bit better soon, sending love

 

[LittleJem]

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I have similar - my repetitive thoughts yesterday along with sobbing all day, were "I just want this over." When this goes on for days and years, I really do want it all over for sure.

It sounds like you do have better days than this though? In which case, maybe you just need to hang in there till this rough patch is over?

I can also recommend a pill or two you can buy OTC - in case they help you a little bit, as they do me:

Siberian Ginseng - I was recommended this by a member of this forum. It doesn't cure everything, but it does make me feel a little brighter and gives me the motivation to get out of bed. Best of my knowledge, it combines safely with medication.
Lithium Orotate - this does have some contraindications, I can send more info if you are interested in it. It gave me 11 of the happiest days of my life, then stopped working. But I am trying it again now for a longer time period at a higher dose, as the reviews of it on Amazon are so good.

I wish I had any better answers for all of us and there was something that helped. I also have Kratom in my room, but it doesn't work for me, though I am thinking about trying it again. I have tried so many things - but there are a few more on the list still.

I am personally putting togehter a big list of every medication I will try this year and how long I will try it for - while this feels like months on end of being bedridden, which it will be, at least I am going to test stuff systematically to see if anything helps my faulty brain.

Sucks to this illness. I hope your day today is better.

 

[Thereisnothing]

for the past couple of days, i feel so empty. even though i feel pain and a heavy feeling weighing me down, i feel so empty, so numb. i've been on the verge of tears to just straight crying my heart out for no reason. the tears would go on and on and if i thought it was over, it keep going. i want to do something, i feel like i have to do something but, nothing interests me. locking myself in my room all day avoiding any social interactions as i can, since i have no energy to socialize. having no appetite to eat but still forced myself to somehow fill the emptiness i was feeling. i've been laying on my bed looking up at my ceiling crying, questioning my whole existence. asking myself, "when will this end?" "when will all of this end?"
i'm going to regret posting this, ha.

Reading what you have written/expressed, I thought for a moment that someone had written that on my behalf! What I mean is it mirrors so well how I am and have been since I tragically lost my beloved Father, before Christmas. Every single thing and I mean, every is one huge effort and the effort to begin with cant even be fathomed out. I am scared to open my front door, dont wish to move out of bed, I just 'hope' the situation would end.
I absolutely stink, but tomorrow I have an appt with funeral directors to tie up some loose ends, so somehow I am going to have to shower, open my front door, go for the bus and deal with it, somehow, I dont know how. I suppose I shall just have to.

 

[LittleJem]

ps I spent the whole day in bed today, not brushing my teeth and managing to eat a banana. Despite throwing any pill I could at myself. 9pm out of bed and crying on the phone to my brother. So me recommending any pills to anyone is my desperation to find any that work - but I don't know whether anything will work.

 

[Moonicide]

I'm sorry you're struggling with the emptiness, love. I'm right there with you and can relate so much... I've been locking myself up in my room and pretty much living off of strawberry jello and almonds. I don't have the energy to cook. I'll be ctbing soon, so what's the point? Even if you are numb and empty, you are still suffering. You want the tears to stop, you want it all to stop. You are not alone in this, love. We are here to support you and listen to you. My heart goes out to you, because nobody deserves to live a life of emptiness. Thank you for opening up to us... I know that must have been difficult for you. I also hope you're not feeling so regretful for expressing your emotions, love. You deserve to be heard.

Sending you all of my love and hugs.

 

[enjoy]

i also feel this way. a lot of people feel empty in the sense that they can't cry anymore, but i, too cry when i feel empty. it makes me feel better knowing i'm not alone in feeling that way, and i hope it makes you feel at least a tiny bit better, too.

if you ever need someone to talk to... i'm here. better than letting loneliness eat us alive, right?

 

[ALiflessDreamerOtaku]

Ur not alone