M

MISERYinlife

life then Death
Jan 18, 2019
60
I want to go so bad because of back pain and anxiety feel like i can't breath half the time,I pretty much came out and told everyone i wanna die instead of living like this and it causes them so much pain it makes me feel guilty,but i don't want to continue living like this as i am useless Xanax worked for a while but not anymore and my Doctor won't up the dosage she told me to find a new doctor as if that would work,I tried looking for hope and wanting to feel better but to no avail Doctors around here don't do back surgery's and my anxiety is so bad i can't travel very far and even with my back being fixed i'd still be trapped in my mind with anxiety,been debating on if i should do it where i wouldn't be found although i'm sure my family would still know what happened or if i should leave a note saying sorry and such,why is it all so hard :( I was going to do a H over dose and hope it was potent stuff as i have no experience in using and not even sure where to get some,so then thought about the charcoal method but would be found that way,so the only way is the compression method no noise and find a good isolated place,whats your thoughts about everything here?
 
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couragetodie

Student
Jan 2, 2019
154
I don't know why life is so hard for many and seems so effortless for some. back pain sucks — read today that Bill Walton contemplates ctb because of back pain. I don't know anything about compression but I wish you luck in your journey.
 
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M

MISERYinlife

life then Death
Jan 18, 2019
60
I don't know why life is so hard for many and seems so effortless for some. back pain sucks — read today that Bill Walton contemplates ctb because of back pain. I don't know anything about compression but I wish you luck in your journey.
It's the so called night night method
 
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NumbItAll

NumbItAll

expendable
May 20, 2018
1,094
It is quite the dilemma. Either way someone is suffering, and that is the inherent cruelty of life. If you do ctb I think leaving a note is a good idea so they know what happened and can gain some closure.
 
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G

GeorgeEastman

Arcanist
Sep 3, 2018
470
It reads like the racing thoughts I often have. It's a sign of a very tormented soul.

I think people will understand it when we end up killing ourselves. They may even be relieved that we finally did it, but they're way too scared to tell us to outright do it.
 
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couragetodie

Student
Jan 2, 2019
154
It reads like the racing thoughts I often have. It's a sign of a very tormented soul.

I think people will understand it when we end up killing ourselves. They may even be relieved that we finally did it, but they're way too scared to tell us to outright do it.

Wise words. They want us to be "treated" so they can see us function as normies. But maybe deep down they believe we can never be repaired and they know as we do the only solution is final.
 
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Hopeless_soul

Hopeless_soul

Soon
Jan 3, 2019
502
My mother has been understanding and compassionate throughout my life, and that makes me feel guilty when I think about committing suicide. She doesn't deserve that. But I've come to terms with my feelings, and I don't see, as of right now, any other way of dealing with my life. All I could do for her is dying in a dignified way, without leaving a mess...

I'm sorry about your back. Hope there was a way you could get help with that.

I know nothing about the compression method. But whatever you choose, I hope you find peace.
 
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MISERYinlife

life then Death
Jan 18, 2019
60
Wise words. They want us to be "treated" so they can see us function as normies. But maybe deep down they believe we can never be repaired and they know as we do the only solution is final.
sounds about right some good stuff there :)
 
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MISERYinlife

life then Death
Jan 18, 2019
60
My mother has been understanding and compassionate throughout my life, and that makes me feel guilty when I think about committing suicide. She doesn't deserve that. But I've come to terms with my feelings, and I don't see, as of right now, any other way of dealing with my life. All I could do for her is dying in a dignified way, without leaving a mess...

I'm sorry about your back. Hope there was a way you could get help with that.

I know nothing about the compression method. But whatever you choose, I hope you find peace.
Thank you it's been a long hard road back pain for 4 years now anxiety for 20 years and Depression started kicking in hard about 6 months or so i know they will all hurt but i tried telling them death is part of life no matter what we all die
 
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EmotionlessWanderer

EmotionlessWanderer

Specialist
Jan 19, 2019
352
Keep in mind the pain will be temporarily even if it's long. Your loved ones will end up in the same place as you eventually.
 
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