Venting I feel sick at my stomach

[ThatStateOfMind]

I feel seriously sick seeing a photo of my cheating girlfriend and the dude she cheated on me. I don't think I've actually physically seen the two together and it makes me sick and it feels more real.

There's not much to say beyond that. I apologize if my constant posts about my ex annoy all of you, it's the biggest problem in my life in a long time.

 

[Ligand]

Bro that would drive me fucking crazy. Honestly you just gotta get out there and get some to get her off your mind. I know of no other method that works.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

No need to apologize. The loss of love is traumatic. If venting helps, go for it. Find
peace however you need to.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Bro that would drive me fucking crazy. Honestly you just gotta get out there and get some to get her off your mind. I know of no other method that works.

Eh seems a little unhealthy, no? Plus I also have no game, and a lot of social anxiety. I want someone new but I don't know if I'm ready and since then, I have huge trust issues, and am fearful of letting others in out of fear it'll happen again.

I don't think I'm awful looking, but I have no confidence tbh, I had very little before and the cheating really destroyed it.

No need to apologize. The loss of love is traumatic. If venting helps, go for it. Find
peace however you need to.

It really does help but I feel like I annoy people with it. Just telling people really helps. It wouldn't be as bad if she didn't cheat, but the cheating added a level of trauma to it I have yet to overcome :/

 

[Ligand]

Eh seems a little unhealthy, no? Plus I also have no game, and a lot of social anxiety. I want someone new but I don't know if I'm ready and since then, I have huge trust issues, and am fearful of letting others in out of fear it'll happen again.

I don't think I'm awful looking, but I have no confidence tbh, I had very little before and the cheating really destroyed it.

I'm gonna tell you right now, either getting laid or finding someone else that loves and appreciates you will make this shit melt away man. That is considerably healthier then ruminating on it and posting about it on a suicide forum.

I don't mean to be too harsh with you, but I'm just trying to speak to you like if you were one of my buddies in real life. I've seen this happen to some of my friends before, and once they get new girlfriends, they get over it man. You will always be pissed about the cheating, but you will never forgive yourself if you let this shit haunt you and ruin more of your life than it needs to. Do all the stereotypical shit like hit the gym and go to parties and get fucking laid bro. People say that shit because it works. Don't completely halt your life because of one unfaithful girl. There are plenty of awesome girls out there, but you won't find them by complaining on this forum.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I'm gonna tell you right now, either getting laid or finding someone else that loves and appreciates you will make this shit melt away man. That is considerably healthier then ruminating on it and posting about it on a suicide forum.

I don't mean to be too harsh with you, but I'm just trying to speak to you like if you were one of my buddies in real life. I've seen this happen to some of my friends before, and once they get new girlfriends, they get over it man. You will always be pissed about the cheating, but you will never forgive yourself if you let this shit haunt you and ruin more of your life than it needs to. Do all the stereotypical shit like hit the gym and go to parties and get fucking laid bro. People say that shit because it works. Don't completely hold your life because of one unfaithful girl. There are plenty of awesome girls out there, but you won't find them complaining on this forum.

I don't think it's harsh the way you're talking but there are issues with that. Mainly that I'm in a small ass town, maybe 4,000 people total, way less in my age range.

Dating would be healthier than posting here, I just like posting here because I'm not judged and it makes me depressed and suicidal at times.

It's kinda ironic because I plan on getting a gym membership, and I'm in college bettering myself, and plan on a gym membership after I get a job. Think I might have a job about to hire me but not sure 100% yet.

It's just been tough since she was unfaithful. Consequences of having your SO as your main support system I guess. I am trying to make efforts to talk to people. I wanna grow my college social circle tbh

 

[Ligand]

I don't think it's harsh the way you're talking but there are issues with that. Mainly that I'm in a small ass town, maybe 4,000 people total, way less in my age range.

Dating would be healthier than posting here, I just like posting here because I'm not judged and it makes me depressed and suicidal at times.

It's kinda ironic because I plan on getting a gym membership, and I'm in college bettering myself, and plan on a gym membership after I get a job. Think I might have a job about to hire me but not sure 100% yet.

It's just been tough since she was unfaithful. Consequences of having your SO as your main support system I guess. I am trying to make efforts to talk to people. I wanna grow my college social circle tbh

I understand the small town struggle man. If you keep focusing on making yourself the best person you can be, and you get a some good IRL friends, you can easily find yourself in a life that you love (no gf required). Once you get in the gym, you'll feel significantly better - you add a job and you'll be a new man. I still stand by what I said, and I'm hopeful that you'll get out of this hole. It sounds like you already have a game plan, but it'll just take some time to get there.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I understand the small town struggle man. If you keep focusing on making yourself the best person you can be, and you get a some good IRL friends, you can easily find yourself in a life that you love (no gf required). Once you get in the gym, you'll feel significantly better - you add a job and you'll be a new man. I still stand by what I said, and I'm hopeful that you'll get out of this hole. It sounds like you already have a game plan, but it'll just take some time to get there.

Thanks dude. It sucks right now, but I try to hope that it'll get better. The photo really brought me down and upset me a little though. Especially since she cheated on me, then left me over phone, and began dating him. I also agree that the gym will likely help me, both mentally and physically. The job will also be a great addition and I'll have less free time to think about stuff like this and money to top it all off.

I hope I can do some good things and get out of this hole. I already have a little crush on somebody, unsure how she feels about me. I've only avoided it because the aforementioned trust issues and fear of letting others into my life

 

[Ligand]

Thanks dude. It sucks right now, but I try to hope that it'll get better. The photo really brought me down and upset me a little though. Especially since she cheated on me, then left me over phone, and began dating him. I also agree that the gym will likely help me, both mentally and physically. The job will also be a great addition and I'll have less free time to think about stuff like this and money to top it all off.

I hope I can do some good things and get out of this hole. I already have a little crush on somebody, unsure how she feels about me. I've only avoided it because the aforementioned trust issues and fear of letting others into my life

I completely get it bro. That would get to me too. I'm telling you, when your primarily goal is to live the best version of your life and become your best possible self, it becomes a lot easier to let go of the trust issues. You'll know that even if someone does cheat on you again, it won't take long at all for another girl to see how much of a catch you've become.

If you ever want to vent about this stuff in the future or just shoot the shit, always feel free to shoot me a DM.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I completely get it bro. That would get to me too. I'm telling you, when your primarily goal is to live the best version of your life and become your best possible self, it becomes a lot easier to let go of the trust issues. You'll know that even if someone does cheat on you again, it won't take long at all for another girl to see how much of a catch you've become.

If you ever want to vent about this stuff in the future or just shoot the shit, always feel free to shoot me a DM.

Alright I'll keep that in mind for sure, I really appreciate it. I just need to get my life and everything sorted. Then I won't feel the need for a girlfriend, as I imagine I'll feel fulfillment elsewhere. I know I'll eventually move past all of this and look back, surprised at how much I was affected by this and maybe even laugh at it.

 

[SolomonKado]

you're in no way being annoying. I was in Rehab for alcohol for about 45 days. When I came back everything was supposed to be my brand new life! Get home and find out another POS was sleeping in my bed….by his wife….fuck Rehab at that point…
We did split the week before, but I was told that she was getting really frisky with someone over the phone before and immediately after I left…already had one going before I left…then she wanted to stay in the house so she could help with bills. I was okay until I found out and then I immediately changed the locks…the guy she ended up with was at the same rehab two weeks before I got there. WTAF..

 

[Lookoutbelow]

Eh seems a little unhealthy, no? Plus I also have no game, and a lot of social anxiety. I want someone new but I don't know if I'm ready and since then, I have huge trust issues, and am fearful of letting others in out of fear it'll happen again.

I don't think I'm awful looking, but I have no confidence tbh, I had very little before and the cheating really destroyed it.

It really does help but I feel like I annoy people with it. Just telling people really helps. It wouldn't be as bad if she didn't cheat, but the cheating added a level of trauma to it I have yet to overcome :/

Remember why we are all here in this forum. So we can blurt out whatever is making us want to CTB without judgement. Every single one of us has our own reasons. Our common bond is wanting the pain to stop. So, you keep venting and we'll keep listening and talking until we all find a way to escape our pain.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

you're in no way being annoying. I was in Rehab for alcohol for about 45 days. When I came back everything was supposed to be my brand new life! Get home and find out another POS was sleeping in my bed….by his wife….fuck Rehab at that point…
We did split the week before, but I was told that she was getting really frisky with someone over the phone before and immediately after I left…already had one going before I left…then she wanted to stay in the house so she could help with bills. I was okay until I found out and then I immediately changed the locks…the guy she ended up with was at the same rehab two weeks before I got there. WTAF..

Goddamn, I'm sorry you went through all of that, especially after rehab. That just sounds so intense. I don't know a whole lot of the details, and I don't think I want to about how my ex cheated. She said it was just a few days over text before she left me but I don't feel inclined to believe her. After all, can't really trust a cheater.

Remember why we are all here in this forum. So we can blurt out whatever is making us want to CTB without judgement. Every single one of us has our own reasons. Our common bond is wanting the pain to stop. So, you keep venting and we'll keep listening and talking until we all find a way to escape our pain.

Thanks, it helps to hear that and honestly, this is the only thing making me think negative thoughts. Otherwise, my life is fairly decent. I'm in college, making straight A's, not very great social life but I have some friends, hopefully soon to have a job, this is the biggest issue in my life.

And this forum is the only place I've received very little judgement for what I've said (I say very little because someone at one point said that I was essentially the reason my ex cheated)

 

[Lookoutbelow]

Goddamn, I'm sorry you went through all of that, especially after rehab. That just sounds so intense. I don't know a whole lot of the details, and I don't think I want to about how my ex cheated. She said it was just a few days over text before she left me but I don't feel inclined to believe her. After all, can't really trust a cheater.

Thanks, it helps to hear that and honestly, this is the only thing making me think negative thoughts. Otherwise, my life is fairly decent. I'm in college, making straight A's, not very great social life but I have some friends, hopefully soon to have a job, this is the biggest issue in my life.

And this forum is the only place I've received very little judgement for what I've said (I say very little because someone at one point said that I was essentially the reason my ex cheated)

I'm sorry you are going through this. We can't control others, hell we can even control ourselves. I've been through many relationships. I needed relationships for my happiness. Well guess what? Every one of them has ended with me being completely distraught. Each one is as painful as the last. I wish I would have understood when I was younger that it would have been less painful to be alone than to repeat this cycle. I might not have been happy being alone, but I also wouldn't have had to endure soul crushing devastation every time a relationship ended. Sometimes it's not about finding happiness as much as it is about avoiding devastating pain and sorrow. If I could go back, I would endure this life alone. The short lived happiness of a relationship does not outweigh the long term pain. Best wishes.

 

[BlazingBob]

I remember when my gf told me she cheated on me. It felt like someone hit me in the stomach with a baseball bat. I hyperventilated. I kept having visions of her getting fucked by the guy. Over and over and over. It's true that finding someone else can help and be validating and all that but the only true healer is time. One more thing. When my gf confessed to cheating she was sobbing and said she didn't even enjoy the sex with the guy. I asked her why and she said because it was so big. Yeah, I'll bet she absolutely hated it. That was almost 24 years ago. I can look back at it now and laugh but at the time it was horrible. Oh and I met her in church

 

[SolomonKado]

I remember when my gf told me she cheated on me. It felt like someone hit me in the stomach with a baseball bat. I hyperventilated. I kept having visions of her getting fucked by the guy. Over and over and over. It's true that finding someone else can help and be validating and all that but the only true healer is time. One more thing. When my gf confessed to cheating she was sobbing and said she didn't even enjoy the sex with the guy. I asked her why and she said because it was so big. Yeah, I'll bet she absolutely hated it. That was almost 24 years ago. I can look back at it now and laugh but at the time it was horrible. Oh and I met her in church

Wow! You're a better person than I am. Something like that would torment me for the rest of my life. It's really hard to put all your trust in someone just for them to utterly shatter your world. It made a lasting impression on you that's for sure.

It's completely up to the abused what decision they make from that moment. Sucks cause you never know how it will turn out. I had a friend of mine who gave many chances for them to stop their crap. They never did, but she held on for as long as she could. She lost almost two decades of her life and had to watch her kids see the whole thing. She kept it going "for the kids.."

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I remember when my gf told me she cheated on me. It felt like someone hit me in the stomach with a baseball bat. I hyperventilated. I kept having visions of her getting fucked by the guy. Over and over and over. It's true that finding someone else can help and be validating and all that but the only true healer is time. One more thing. When my gf confessed to cheating she was sobbing and said she didn't even enjoy the sex with the guy. I asked her why and she said because it was so big. Yeah, I'll bet she absolutely hated it. That was almost 24 years ago. I can look back at it now and laugh but at the time it was horrible. Oh and I met her in church

This is very relatable, except without the visions, I didn't have any visions of that luckily. I also agree about time being a healer. To be honest, I'm doing a hell of a lot better than I was when it first happened. Which by the way is 9 months. It was 9 months and 2 days ago to be exact. It really felt like someone stomping on my heart, it felt like a literal pain in my heart, which I thought was all bullshit that people said but turns out it was true, at least for me.

You know the funniest thing, it feels like she's been stringing me along, keeping me on the hook for this whole 9 months and I'm only just now completely losing hope of us getting together again and honestly it's for the better imo at this point.

I'm sorry you are going through this. We can't control others, hell we can even control ourselves. I've been through many relationships. I needed relationships for my happiness. Well guess what? Every one of them has ended with me being completely distraught. Each one is as painful as the last. I wish I would have understood when I was younger that it would have been less painful to be alone than to repeat this cycle. I might not have been happy being alone, but I also wouldn't have had to endure soul crushing devastation every time a relationship ended. Sometimes it's not about finding happiness as much as it is about avoiding devastating pain and sorrow. If I could go back, I would endure this life alone. The short lived happiness of a relationship does not outweigh the long term pain. Best wishes.

Yeah, I understand your pov. For me, I'm too young to give up on love entirely, but this was definitely a de motivator and still keeps me away from relationships but I know I need to open up eventually to people.

 

[SexyIncél]

Then I won't feel the need for a girlfriend, as I imagine I'll feel fulfillment elsewhere. I know I'll eventually move past all of this and look back, surprised at how much I was affected by this and maybe even laugh at it.

It can help to find motivated people, who are fundamentally decent (at least to each other) to embark on projects with

In that case, trash girl/boyfriends can be a threat, if they change your teammates' personalities for the worse. Which is why they should be held onto lightly (i.e. dropped easily), unless they're truly decent quality humans

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

It can help to find motivated people, who are fundamentally decent (at least to each other) to embark on projects with

In that case, trash girl/boyfriends can be a threat, if they change your teammates' personalities for the worse. Which is why they should be held onto lightly (i.e. dropped easily), unless they're truly decent quality humans

Yeah, dropping people easily is basically impossible for me currently due to PTSD lol but I am actively making small attempts to talk to more people and make friends. Unfortunately it's mostly online but baby steps I guess