I know this is a difficult issue for many people, I think a lot just aren't vocal about it.
For me, It's hard to assess any loneliness when I choose to isolate so no one sees me. Though it's not really a choice to me. I think if I were around people then perhaps I would feel it but only because I know no one else around me cares or understands (or even tries) the type of grief I feel every second of everyday, and even in my dreams.
I am so sorry you have to experience such loneliness and have trouble socializing. I know I can socialize just fine but I am bound by my body and face. So it's like something being dangled over my head. I can reach it but I will end up pulling a string that turns on a spotlight. And I don't want any attention on me in person, it amplifies what I already know to be true. An ugly reflection.
Do you have trouble just making friends or is it keeping them?
I don't know that it's possible to keep friends when in the state of wanting to CTB. Unless they share your desire.
My mother is the only one I have right now but even she threatens to abandon me, even after acknowledging my suffering.