I feel like I'm at such a cross roads in life. I'm still living with my cheating ex this month and it feels like I'm my brain and heart are being poisoned on a daily basis. It's like at this point they've both developed scar tissue and I have ptsd from all her lies that I don't see any chance for a future. I don't think I can keep living in a world where only the lying cheating and stealing assholes are the successful ones. I don't think I was cut out for this. She absolutely loved me at one point and then her feeling changed all together but that's probably more a me thing than a her thing. There will always be someone who has more money, is thinner, is prettier than me. Why would anyone ever actually want to love me and stay with me. I just realized she lied about going to work today, she's probably with that new girl. I wish I could just CTB right now I fucking hate my life and I hate myself for creating this life.
Cursed4ever
I Want Everything to Stop
- Oct 9, 2020
- 175
She found someone and you can too.
I know it's very painful right now but believe time can heal such wounds.
The key is cut any communication with her.
If she doesn't care about you why should you? Please separate as soon as possible, spend as much time with your friends or family as much as possible.
It can get better
I know it's very painful right now but believe time can heal such wounds.
The key is cut any communication with her.
If she doesn't care about you why should you? Please separate as soon as possible, spend as much time with your friends or family as much as possible.
It can get better
Well that's probably because you're not considering the fact that originally we agreed on a monogamous relationship which I kept my part on and didn't learn the truth til months later.
Are you that dense? Really?
We're still living together til Dec when we can move into our own separate apts. I moved to this state to be with her so I don't really have friends of family here.
Getting some distance between you and your ex may really help you. The whole world might look different once you gain dependence.
Thank you friend, I really needed that right now
I know and I've been trying to take those steps, like yesterday with the permit but it feels like December is never coming and living with her still is just like being poisoned more and more everyday
x~Sophia~x
Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
- Sep 10, 2020
- 1,361
What a ridiculous thing to say!! How do YOU know how you would feel IF you were a girl, and IF you were a lesbian?
It's still cheating ffs!!
I know exactly how this feels. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. each day is one day closer to freedom. Take good care of yourself, do nice things for yourself, keep working on making yourself feel valuable and independent. If getting away from all of it doesn't make it better at least you tried, but I can tell you firsthand that living in a toxic situation will kill you on the inside and make you wish you were dead on the outside. Distancing yourself from that situation could change your entire perspective on life and yourself. Take it one day at a time. Sending you many hugs.
Thank you I really need the support right now. I keep telling myself to try to make it to dec when I can be in my own space to heal. It's just my sister is having to give me $1,000 so I can move in and it's such a large sum of money and she's pregnant. I feel so fucked up because if I still want to CTB then and I do it I'll have made her waste $1,000 on me but then I try to tell myself I'm worth more to my sister than just $1,000. This really is killing me alive to see her every day and still see glimpses and pieces of the person I thought she was
It's good your sister loves you and wants to help you. There are times we need support, and it's good to reach out to loved ones and friends, and a community to help. Spend more time with your sister and away from your ex perhaps. December is only one month away, and every day that passes is one more day that has ended. Keep thinking about the fact that you'll get to hold a sweet little niece or nephew one day, and that you have a family that loves you and is offering you support. If the only thing making you want to ctb Is your ex that problem will be solved within a month. it might help you to spend a lot more time outside of the house and away from your ex.
gus.nixon
and now we rise and we are everywhere
- Apr 19, 2020
- 309
I'm fat, I'm bald, I'm poor, I have felonies on my record from freaking out on a PCP-like substance. Think of me as a less successful and less fun version of Danny DeVito. I'm still kicking though, albeit barely. If you ever want to talk, I have a good ear and I really do care, so drop me a message whenever you feel like it. Oh, and I don't even have a driver's license either and I'm almost 50. I'm about the poorest sack of shit here, but I try to maintain a sense of humor about it all.
Not for nothing @gus.nixon danny devito is one of the best men alive so if you're anything like him you're amazing. Thank you, I appreciate you
flower
on the moon
- Feb 23, 2020
- 320
that sounds really rough especially living in the same home as her, i'm so sorry love. please don't blame yourself for her being a horrible human, some people just are and no amount of pandering to how you think they'd prefer you to be would change that.
december is less than a month away, I know it's difficult to see right now but give yourself some time to heal when you're out of that toxic environment
december is less than a month away, I know it's difficult to see right now but give yourself some time to heal when you're out of that toxic environment
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,089
You should get out of that soul destroying toxic relationship even if you still love her. You can love someone and still not be able to be with them. Save yourself.
I have no idea how anyone can think like you do.
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Giraffey
Your Orange Crush
- Mar 7, 2020
- 439
I'm so sorry you received such an ignorant response, it seems that some less mature men can't discuss lesbian relationships without feeling the urge to sexualise it. Such infantile behaviour genuinely doesn't represent the majority of us here.
I agree with the advice given above, this has evidently become a toxic relationship which only one party, you, are willing to repair. Walking away from somebody you love will be one of the hardest decisions you'll have to make, setting aside the guilt and resisting the urge to answer those late-night calls begging for reconciliation, it's emotional hell - but eventually, it's empowering.
Walking away from my toxic, cheating, manipulative, abusive ex-partner was one of the best decisions that I ever made. It took me months before I was able to look back on her behaviour and see it for what it was; even longer before I started to feel strong again. I had decided that I was worth more than her behaviour, I felt empowered with self-respect, I felt confident to set boundaries in future relationships, I knew that I deserved better and I was no longer afraid to walk away from a bad relationship, it was a valuable life lesson.
I know that there are obstacles in your way right now that prevent you from simply upping and leaving, but if you're ready to walk away then now is a good time to start setting some personal boundaries. Try to spend more time with the people who care about you and are emotionally supportive, you mentioned your sister in particular. Create your own personal sanctuary and visit it every day, I know that sounds a little ethereal but it can be as simple as taking fifteen minutes or half an hour to yourself each evening and practising a simple mindfulness meditation, or spending that time doing a hobby or even on doing your hair or makeup; it's time dedicated entirely to yourself, I found it life-saving in the run-up to my breakup.
Regardless, it sounds like an awful situation and I'm so sorry that somebody you love dearly is hurting you like this, it's a long and difficult journey, but as you begin to traverse it, you are ultimately going to find strength that you never imagined you could muster.
Hugs
I agree with the advice given above, this has evidently become a toxic relationship which only one party, you, are willing to repair. Walking away from somebody you love will be one of the hardest decisions you'll have to make, setting aside the guilt and resisting the urge to answer those late-night calls begging for reconciliation, it's emotional hell - but eventually, it's empowering.
Walking away from my toxic, cheating, manipulative, abusive ex-partner was one of the best decisions that I ever made. It took me months before I was able to look back on her behaviour and see it for what it was; even longer before I started to feel strong again. I had decided that I was worth more than her behaviour, I felt empowered with self-respect, I felt confident to set boundaries in future relationships, I knew that I deserved better and I was no longer afraid to walk away from a bad relationship, it was a valuable life lesson.
I know that there are obstacles in your way right now that prevent you from simply upping and leaving, but if you're ready to walk away then now is a good time to start setting some personal boundaries. Try to spend more time with the people who care about you and are emotionally supportive, you mentioned your sister in particular. Create your own personal sanctuary and visit it every day, I know that sounds a little ethereal but it can be as simple as taking fifteen minutes or half an hour to yourself each evening and practising a simple mindfulness meditation, or spending that time doing a hobby or even on doing your hair or makeup; it's time dedicated entirely to yourself, I found it life-saving in the run-up to my breakup.
Regardless, it sounds like an awful situation and I'm so sorry that somebody you love dearly is hurting you like this, it's a long and difficult journey, but as you begin to traverse it, you are ultimately going to find strength that you never imagined you could muster.
Hugs
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,089
It's incredibly valuable to be able to leave someone you love who is hurting you. It gives you a sense of pride in your own strength and shows you that you are someone of value. You have worth and dignity and strength when you do this. And that feeling carries with you. The next step is falling out of love with them, which also has a lot of feel good healthy things you take from it. I highly recommend doing this.
It's great to look back on a painful relationship with these kinds of feelings about how you didn't tolerate bad treatment.
grungeCat
Awkward & weird
- Jul 5, 2020
- 1,110
I don't know if it's gonna comfort or disgust you but if you were hetero then I would love to have such a girlfriend as you. I'm sorry if I gross you out. I just want you to know that you surely deserve a much better girlfriend than your ex. I'm sure you'll eventually find someone
BitterlyAlive
---
- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,635
You've all been so amazingly kind to me with all this over the top relationship drama I've been having. I really thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Who ever would've thought it'd be a suicide forum that is constantly talking me off the ledge. I appreciate you all. You're all so beautiful in your spirit. (Except f
it doesn't gross me out lol. Thank you for your kindness I appreciate you. I'm sure I'm a handful myself.
You're inspiring, thank you so muchI'm so sorry you received such an ignorant response, it seems that some less mature men can't discuss lesbian relationships without feeling the urge to sexualise it. Such infantile behaviour genuinely doesn't represent the majority of us here.
I agree with the advice given above, this has evidently become a toxic relationship which only one party, you, are willing to repair. Walking away from somebody you love will be one of the hardest decisions you'll have to make, setting aside the guilt and resisting the urge to answer those late-night calls begging for reconciliation, it's emotional hell - but eventually, it's empowering.
Walking away from my toxic, cheating, manipulative, abusive ex-partner was one of the best decisions that I ever made. It took me months before I was able to look back on her behaviour and see it for what it was; even longer before I started to feel strong again. I had decided that I was worth more than her behaviour, I felt empowered with self-respect, I felt confident to set boundaries in future relationships, I knew that I deserved better and I was no longer afraid to walk away from a bad relationship, it was a valuable life lesson.
I know that there are obstacles in your way right now that prevent you from simply upping and leaving, but if you're ready to walk away then now is a good time to start setting some personal boundaries. Try to spend more time with the people who care about you and are emotionally supportive, you mentioned your sister in particular. Create your own personal sanctuary and visit it every day, I know that sounds a little ethereal but it can be as simple as taking fifteen minutes or half an hour to yourself each evening and practising a simple mindfulness meditation, or spending that time doing a hobby or even on doing your hair or makeup; it's time dedicated entirely to yourself, I found it life-saving in the run-up to my breakup.
Regardless, it sounds like an awful situation and I'm so sorry that somebody you love dearly is hurting you like this, it's a long and difficult journey, but as you begin to traverse it, you are ultimately going to find strength that you never imagined you could muster.
Hugs
Thank you for your kindness *hugs*
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