Venting I feel pathetic

[DeathSleep]

I've been falling way behind on things like important phone calls, appointments, cleaning and such that normal people would easily be able to do. Some things have hit a critical level to get done because it has been going on so long now. The little things have become very important things now.

I've just given up on doing the things to maintain my life making it much more stressful while I'm still here. I can't keep up with things and it's become so overwhelming that I just stopped doing most things. It's stressful and I'm doing it to myself because of my mental state... depression, apathy and whatnot.

It's gotten to a point that it's a little embarrassing that I can't stay on top of things. Others try to encourage like I'm a little kid learning to tie their shoes. It makes me feel worse.

I struggle to care about anything because if I'm going to die soon why bother. Although it would make my remaining time here slightly less stressful. I'm just having so much trouble getting, what should be minor things, done. The to do list just keeps getting longer. I try to take it one thing at a time. What's the point? I'll CTB in a few months or sooner. That's the plan anyways.

I guess I was just hoping that someone can relate to this because some people, like my roommate, make fun of me and talks down to me for not getting simple things done. I feel pathetic.

 

[kunikuzushi]

I relate to this. I can't even work because I spend all my time and energy trying to finish basic things like eating, keeping myself clean, cleaning the apartment. And I don't even finish them every day because I'm so exhausted and miserable. You're not pathetic. It's really overwhelming having to do all this especially when we feel like it's pointless because our lives are going to end. Sorry you're going through this

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Most people have trouble staying on top of things and the stress can cause many to procrastinate. If you are in a state where you are having issues with keeping up with everything then maybe try just using around 5 minutes of your time to focus on one task. Sometimes it takes just getting started on something in order to find it in you to complete it, and even if you don't then at least you got a bit done, even if you were only spent 5 minutes or less on it.

When others try to encourage you, like a child trying to learn to tie their shoes, it's likely because they want to encourage while also understanding your struggle. Sometimes people respond well to gentle and optimistic encouragement we tend to give little kids when they are trying something new.

I, personally, am overwhelmed at the moment because final exams are coming up and I'm 99% sure I am not going to be doing well on any of them, lol. I still have to watch some lectures for my one of my classes (I have two to watch), along with doing a shit ton of studying for my other two classes since I didn't do the assignments for either of them so I need to do well on those exams. I have been fighting against my extreme urge to procrastinate. Usually, I'm behind on most things.

Also, fuck your roommates. They suck.