Discussion I feel like therapy isn’t helping and won’t help

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I've tried multiple therapists and different types of therapy. None have helped me and now I'm thinking therapy is a lost cause.

It just causes me more stress and anxiety without any benefit it seems.

Also so many people think that when therapy doesn't work for you that your not putting the effort in it doing what your suppose too.

But I show up to therapy, do the homework I'm assigned, and do what I'm supposed too.

I have crippling anxiety and depression. So I can't really function so I need help and to get better n stuff. I'm trying but I'm not getting better and I'm tired.

I'm fine with just staying home not having a social life, not working, rarely leaving the house as that's not only because of my anxiety but introverted personality as well.

I just want to be less anxious and not feel shit all the time and I know avoiding is not what I'm suppose to do. But I've done exposure therapy and CBT both of which make you face the things you avoid and it didn't work.

I feel like if I just stayed home living with my parents being a NEET or on disability, not having to go do social stuff, and worry about the future would make my anxiety lessen. As id know everyday I can just stay home and be comfortable.

I feel like therapy doesn't work for me as it all of the therapist and therapies I've tried havnt helped me.

thoughts?

 

[signifying nothing]

I think you need to trust that you know how best to manage what you're going through. I don't think therapy that forces techniques on you or gives you homework are very good for complex problems.

If you still want to attempt further therapy I suggest types that are more self-directed, eg person centred. The therapist shouldn't have the answers or tell you what to do, they should help you to discover things for yourself that suit you and your unique situation.

 

[MrBlue]

Adding to what @do not conform said, apparently the CAT therapy I've just started is like this, so it could be useful to look into?

Also so many people think that when therapy doesn't work for you that your not putting the effort in it doing what your suppose too.

I've heard that so many times I've began to internalise it now. It's probably the main reason I'm still here, because I worry that if I'm not recovered then I'm clearly very lazy and oversenstive, so just need to man the fuck up and deal with it, or accept it. Easier said than done though lol!

 

[dontlookatme]

internal family systems therapy is something I've found to be useful, for formative trauma anyway, insofar as I'm less trapped by the past at least now, just trapped in my relentlessly unbearable present circumstances, so a win?

What is Internal Family Systems? | IFS Institute

ifs-institute.com

And you don't need a therapist for it.

it's based around the idea that different "parts" in us want different sometimes conflicting things, usually to protect vulnerable or previously injured parts of us. It involves visualization and role play, which are just about the only things I've ever found to be helpful for loosening the suffocating bounds my immediate existence.

I'm super-duper depressed (obvi. given context??) right now so I do not have mental energy for explaining anything in depth I realize but :::shrugs:::

internal family systems therapy is something I've found to be useful, for formative trauma anyway, insofar as I'm less trapped by the past at least now, just trapped in my relentlessly unbearable present circumstances, so a win?

What is Internal Family Systems? | IFS Institute

ifs-institute.com

And you don't need a therapist for it.

it's based around the idea that different "parts" in us want different sometimes conflicting things, usually to protect vulnerable or previously injured parts of us. It involves visualization and role play, which are just about the only things I've ever found to be helpful for loosening the suffocating bounds my immediate existence.

I'm super-duper depressed (obvi. given context??) right now so I do not have mental energy for explaining anything in depth I realize but :::shrugs:::

Wow, I'm so dumb. You're like " I feel therapy doesn't work for me" and I'm like "this kind of therapy tho?"
Sorry. in a trough right now.

 

[signifying nothing]

internal family systems therapy is something I've found to be useful, for formative trauma anyway, insofar as I'm less trapped by the past at least now, just trapped in my relentlessly unbearable present circumstances, so a win?

What is Internal Family Systems? | IFS Institute

ifs-institute.com

And you don't need a therapist for it.

This looks of interest to me, so thank you.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

Your biggest mistake is going to a therapist in the first place. Therapy isn't meant to fix your problems. It isn't even meant to make you feel better. It's just meant to make you feel better... about... NOT feeling better. Confused? Exactly!

Forget therapy! It's all a lie and sham! Go to a real doctor, not a woowoo talker. Anxiety and depression are biochemical issues, caused by high levels of cortisol and low levels of serotonin, respectively. They're not in your mind". You can't talk them away with a few woowoo sessions. These things require medications, which therapists will withhold from you, because meds interfere with their income. Stay away from those pathetic losers.

 

[Isisnefert]

He probado varios terapeutas y diferentes tipos de terapia. Ninguno me ha ayudado y ahora pienso que la terapia es una causa perdida.

Simplemente me causa más estrés y ansiedad sin ningún beneficio al parecer.

También mucha gente piensa que cuando la terapia no funciona para usted, no está poniendo el esfuerzo en hacer lo que supone también.

Pero me presento a terapia, hago la tarea que me asignan y también hago lo que se supone que debo hacer.

Tengo una ansiedad y una depresión paralizantes. Así que realmente no puedo funcionar, así que necesito ayuda y mejorar n cosas. Lo estoy intentando pero no estoy mejorando y estoy cansado.

Estoy bien con quedarme en casa sin tener una vida social, sin trabajar, y rara vez saliendo de casa, ya que no solo se debe a mi ansiedad sino también a mi personalidad introvertida.

Solo quiero estar menos ansioso y no sentirme una mierda todo el tiempo y sé que evitar no es lo que se supone que debo hacer. Pero hice terapia de exposición y CBT, las cuales te hacen enfrentar las cosas que evitas y no funcionó.

Siento que si me quedara en casa viviendo con mis padres siendo ninis o discapacitados, sin tener que ir a actividades sociales y preocuparme por el futuro, mi ansiedad disminuiría. Como sé todos los días, puedo quedarme en casa y estar cómodo.

Siento que la terapia no me funciona, ya que todos los terapeutas y terapias que he probado no me han ayudado.

pensativo

Siento y pienso lo mismo

Tu mayor error es acudir a un terapeuta en primer lugar. La terapia no está destinada a solucionar sus problemas. Ni siquiera está destinado a hacerte sentir mejor. Solo está destinado a hacerte sentir mejor ... acerca de ... NO sentirte mejor. ¿Confuso? ¡Exactamente!

¡Olvídate de la terapia! ¡Todo es mentira y farsa! Vaya a un médico de verdad, no a un conversador woowoo. La ansiedad y la depresión son problemas bioquímicos, causados por niveles altos de cortisol y niveles bajos de serotonina, respectivamente. No están en tu mente ". No puedes disuadirlos con unas cuantas sesiones de woowoo. Estas cosas requieren medicamentos, que los terapeutas no te darán, porque los medicamentos interfieren con sus ingresos. Manténgase alejado de esos patéticos perdedores

Estoy de acuerdo

 

[LittleJem]

Your biggest mistake is going to a therapist in the first place. Therapy isn't meant to fix your problems. It isn't even meant to make you feel better. It's just meant to make you feel better... about... NOT feeling better. Confused? Exactly!

Forget therapy! It's all a lie and sham! Go to a real doctor, not a woowoo talker. Anxiety and depression are biochemical issues, caused by high levels of cortisol and low levels of serotonin, respectively. They're not in your mind". You can't talk them away with a few woowoo sessions. These things require medications, which therapists will withhold from you, because meds interfere with their income. Stay away from those pathetic losers.

This!!!!

Therapy does help some people for sure. But it doesn't cure mental illness. Which is a chemical imbalance. I saw over 10 therapists, some for years. They took my money. They never referred me to a psychiatrist. Terrible people, bad training. I was really ill. Only things that change my brain chemistry help me. At the moment, rTMS and weed. I might try another med soon. But will never go to therapy again.

 

[Mentalmick]

If your family are okay with you being there and it makes you feel better then go for it. That's the best therapy.

 

[LittleJem]

To rephrase what I said more positively:

- research shows therapy helps more when you have a working medication - look for any medication that can help you
- I personally recommend searching for something that helps your brain chemistry to see if anything helps it change
- if you don't think therapy is working for you - TRUST YOURSELF FIRST. It doesn't help everyone. There are people therapy does nothing for
- therapists do blame it on you when it doesn't work - but this isn't scientific. This is their ego and their belief system and also the way they get paid
- unfortunately, a lot of therapists do not understand mental illness. I did a year of training as a therapist and it was never mentioned. They are not trained to refer people to a medical professional (also it is not in their interests, as they are earning money from you). Not one of my many therapists ever suggested I saw a doctor, even though I was crying with depression every day.
- a lot of therapists have the same nonsensical beliefs about mental illness (particularly depression) as the general population. Like that it is your fault, or if only you'd think differently you wouldn't be depressed. This is not true. It is a chemical imbalance and you can't help it. They don't understand it because they don't suffer from it. My ex-therapist (who charged me £120 an hour) tried to tell me I was not taking responsibility for myself when I was suffering horrifying hormonal depression. As a man, he has no idea what hormonal mood swings can do to a woman's mental health. It was patronising, scientifically inaccurate and also very painful. I would not choose to be so suicidal that I can't function or think straight. It is because my hormones can wreak havoc with me.

All in all, there are some trustworthy, well-meaning therapists out there - but it does not help everyone. And a lot of them will keep taking your money and put the responsibility on you, even though it is doing nothing for you. So trust yourself first.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

Your anxiety would lessen if you became a hikki NEET because there wouldn't be anything to be afraid of, you'd always be safe at home. But in your heart, is that really the life you want to live? Aren't there things you want (or wanted) to do, see, and achieve? Do you want to make your parents proud, do you want friends, etc? I have severe social anxiety so I totally understand the avoidance thing and therapy not helping, it wasn't a cure for me either. But it's not healthy to think that giving in to the feelings that have caused you this much suffering will give you anything more than a momentary relief.

If you dont go to work or school, it sounds like you are already living the ideal life that you described. Why do you still feel anxious and sad then? It sounds like you aren't quite satisfied with it. I feel like there's more to that.

I agree with the others who are recommending medication. If you're not changing at all with therapy, you might have a case that'll work better with meds. Especially if your depression is really strong, the meds might help you a lot.

 

[rs929]

Your biggest mistake is going to a therapist in the first place. Therapy isn't meant to fix your problems. It isn't even meant to make you feel better. It's just meant to make you feel better... about... NOT feeling better. Confused? Exactly!

Forget therapy! It's all a lie and sham! Go to a real doctor, not a woowoo talker. Anxiety and depression are biochemical issues, caused by high levels of cortisol and low levels of serotonin, respectively. They're not in your mind". You can't talk them away with a few woowoo sessions. These things require medications, which therapists will withhold from you, because meds interfere with their income. Stay away from those pathetic losers.

So much ignorance. Do you think we are a bag of chemicals?

CBT and others therapies have proven efficacy, they may not work for EVERYONE though. It's science, not woowoo or whatever.

Meds also have empiric foundation as well.

I've tried multiple therapists and different types of therapy. None have helped me and now I'm thinking therapy is a lost cause.

It just causes me more stress and anxiety without any benefit it seems.

Also so many people think that when therapy doesn't work for you that your not putting the effort in it doing what your suppose too.

But I show up to therapy, do the homework I'm assigned, and do what I'm supposed too.

I have crippling anxiety and depression. So I can't really function so I need help and to get better n stuff. I'm trying but I'm not getting better and I'm tired.

I'm fine with just staying home not having a social life, not working, rarely leaving the house as that's not only because of my anxiety but introverted personality as well.

I just want to be less anxious and not feel shit all the time and I know avoiding is not what I'm suppose to do. But I've done exposure therapy and CBT both of which make you face the things you avoid and it didn't work.

I feel like if I just stayed home living with my parents being a NEET or on disability, not having to go do social stuff, and worry about the future would make my anxiety lessen. As id know everyday I can just stay home and be comfortable.

I feel like therapy doesn't work for me as it all of the therapist and therapies I've tried havnt helped me.

thoughts?

This is just a random stranger on the internet but I'd try therapy+meds, preferably CBT. Exposing to the things you want to avoid may start working when you're on the right meds

 

[BridgeJumper]

I am a prime example of a person that wont be benefitted by therapy. I have an extremely rare physical condition that is making me disabled and I cant treat it because I dont have the money. Talking it out with someone wont help me, Ive done that countless times. Before I fell ill I had severe mental problems but didnt have any self awareness so any attempts at therapy just failed miserably, and I got flagged in the system or whatever now they just dont want to deal with me I would travel through various outpatients and inpatients just to be told I'm too sick. After being strung along by one place that doctors in psych ward said was what I really need than rejected from treatment I jumped off a bridge the day after and gave up on getting help.
Now I'm still a mess but I know what I do wrong and what I should change, but it wont help me because my agonizing pain that makes me lash out and isolate will never go away. Truly fuckin stuck.


Some problems are unfixqble sorry if I made it sound all about yourself, hope you get better. You could try meds + therapy...

 

[Celerity]

To make a lame joke,Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) might as well equal CTB for me. It does help some people supposedly. It only makes me worse. I have had better success with other kinds of therapy (mainly trauma and mindfulness-based therapy) but have come to understand that the format itself is just not overly helpful for me. Maybe someday it will be, but for now, self-help is both the only thing I can afford and the only thing that helps.

Medications, in my experience, have not helped, and the research shows that antidepressants are only slightly more helpful than placebo. The "chemical imbalance" hypothesis for mental illness is under heavy scrutiny by researchers both pro and anti psychiatry. I saw it myself as a graduate student in discussions with clinical psych PhD and PsyD professors and students, but if you search for yourself, you don't have to even trawl websites like Mad in America (very, very antipsychiatry and "fringe") to find discussion of the limited usefulness of medication. That said, there are meds like Bupropion with limited risks that you may benefit from, placebo or not. Basically, don't expect a cure, but it shouldn't hurt you unless you stack it with other meds and/or alcohol.

I don't know you, so I don't know if what I have read can help you. What specifically have you tried? Have *any* of the messages you have received resonated?

 

[whywere]

To make a lame joke,Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) might as well equal CTB for me. It does help some people supposedly. It only makes me worse. I have had better success with other kinds of therapy (mainly trauma and mindfulness-based therapy) but have come to understand that the format itself is just not overly helpful for me. Maybe someday it will be, but for now, self-help is both the only thing I can afford and the only thing that helps.

Medications, in my experience, have not helped, and the research shows that antidepressants are only slightly more helpful than placebo. The "chemical imbalance" hypothesis for mental illness is under heavy scrutiny by researchers both pro and anti psychiatry. I saw it myself as a graduate student in discussions with clinical psych PhD and PsyD professors and students, but if you search for yourself, you don't have to even trawl websites like Mad in America (very, very antipsychiatry and "fringe") to find discussion of the limited usefulness of medication. That said, there are meds like Bupropion with limited risks that you may benefit from, placebo or not. Basically, don't expect a cure, but it shouldn't hurt you unless you stack it with other meds and/or alcohol.

I don't know you, so I don't know if what I have read can help you. What specifically have you tried? Have *any* of the messages you have received resonated?

I 100% agree with you about CBT. I was given the choice of going through a 1 year program, 3 times a week, or getting kicked out of the mental health place I was going. After looking into it, I saw no benefit to it at all. When I mentioned it as far as zero help for me, well insurance pays for it no problem! I was like WHAT?, oh all about money, and I said no. The provider told me to get out and sent a letter informing me that they could not help me any more since I would not do whatever they thought was correct.

Now I look back at it, this was in 2018, and say THANK YOU for kicking me out. CBT is truly a JOKE. Like you so eloquently said CBT might as well be called CTB. It might help some folks but as a magic wand no. It would have cost the insurance company tens of thousands and left me holding a empty bag as far as I am concerned.

Walter

 

[LifeIsSh*t]

Funny, I kinda went down the same route with CBT and multiple rounds of therapy over the last 10 years. Nothing really resonated with me to be honest.

Now mid-30s and diagnosed with high functioning autism. Looking at the signs, it's all there for Asperger's, although no one would suspect it as I hide it well. Apparently traditional therapy and CBT doesnt work for ASD people as apparently we think in different ways. I wonder therefore, if CBT only really works for certain people who think in certain ways as it seems very hit and miss to whether it helps.

Best of luck in finding a solution.