Discussion I feel like therapy doesn’t work for me.

[AutoTap]

Every time I go the a therapist they always want to do exposure therapy. I always tell them I've already done it but they insist. So then I do it for awhile and it doesn't help. But they still want to do it... I say it's not working then they say okay we will do cognitive behavioral therapy now and then we do pretty much the exact same thing as exposure therapy. It's like wtf.

Honestly I feel like the only thing that helps me is distracting myself, deep breathing, remembering the good things I have, and meds.

It's so exhausting when you decide to seek help but the help keeps failing you over and over again.

 

[HenryHobkins]

I had high expectations for therapy and I was let down, I guess I expected it to change my life when it really didnt, it really just helps you cope, but I did find that helpful. They are good active listeners. For actual treatment, I am planning to see a psychologist this winter and hopefully, they can do more

 

[Isadeth]

Your coping methods are extremely healthy. If they're helping, I wouldn't bother with therapy... especially if it's counter productive. Most people enter therapy to gain your current coping tools.

As for me, my life has been filled with therapy. I've gone through 11 therapists since 1999. My current therapist is suicidal too. I've told her things I've never told other therapists, and she never put me inpatient. It's a weird trusting dangerous situation. But I feel better being raw with her in a way therapy never allowed me before. I see her weekly. We text. It's weird but nice. And we don't just talk about me.

You need a therapist that listens to you and let's you guide the session at the pace of your comfort. But it sounds like you have great coping skills. ♡

 

[AutoTap]

Your coping methods are extremely healthy. If they're helping, I wouldn't bother with therapy... especially if it's counter productive. Most people enter therapy to gain your current coping tools.

As for me, my life has been filled with therapy. I've gone through 11 therapists since 1999. My current therapist is suicidal too. I've told her things I've never told other therapists, and she never put me inpatient. It's a weird trusting dangerous situation. But I feel better being raw with her in a way therapy never allowed me before. I see her weekly. We text. It's weird but nice. And we don't just talk about me.

You need a therapist that listens to you and let's you guide the session at the pace of your comfort. But it sounds like you have great coping skills. ♡

Yeh I have to tip toe with my therapist as she'll send me to the psych ward

 

[Isadeth]

Yeh I have to tip toe with my therapist as she'll send me to the psych ward

You need a new therapist. Don't waste your time with the one you have if you have to walk on eggshells.

 

[AutoTap]

You need a new therapist. Don't waste your time with the one you have if you have the walk on eggshells.

Yep! Have to give this one a little longer as just started her 4 sessions ago and still have two paid for. Then most likely will look around.

 

[Symbiote]

I was recommended Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation therapy as a way to reverse the effects of depression since EMDR, DBT, and CBT have failed. Still haven't called the doctor in charge of that yet.

 

[Isadeth]

Yep! Have to give this one a little longer as just started her 4 sessions ago and still have two paid for. Then most likely will look around.

Best thing I can say is during those two sessions you have left is really reflect on areas you want to personally work on. You might not be able to be honest with her but you can ask for worksheets that can explain how to process and cope with what you want to know but not reveal anything to your therapist. I find worksheets helpful, at least then I leave with something before finding a new one. ♡

 

[kohaku]

If your current therapist doesn't listen to you and keeps attempting treatments that don't work, you need to get a new one. From an article on "9 Signs You Should Find A New Therapist",

2. You're not seeing any new improvement.
"Sometimes the relationship can get stale and stuck in a rut," says Kelley Kitely, LCSW, a psychotherapist and author from Chicago. Likewise, "You can keep talking about the same issue, but there should be employment of different strategies or insights," she adds. Saltz tells SELF that "It's important to keep assessing at certain [points throughout therapy] what still feels undone and how the progression towards your goals is going." Similarly, she adds that "if there seems to be no direction and you and your therapist just keeps aimlessly going," it may be time to make a change.

Pretty sound advice if you ask me.

Of course, you might not find a great therapist on the next match, but that's when you have to keep searching. There are many different people for different kinds of people.

 

[Symbiote]

Finding a new therapist is like dating, it takes awhile to find a good fit, but you end up having to pay every time for 1 hour to talk to them about your feelings.

 

[SanJunipero1]

Finding a new therapist is like dating, it takes awhile to find a good fit, but you end up having to pay every time for 1 hour to talk to them about your feelings.

This is the problem. It's all well and good in theory but most people can't afford to keep dropping £100 to test drive a therapist. Not to mention, per the dating analogy above, sometimes you don't find out till after a few sessions that they're not the one and again most people just can't afford to eat those kinds of loss. It's an absolute travesty that something everyone should have access to remains the purview of the rich. Yes there are cheaper therapists and if you're incredibly lucky you might find a good NHS one (but the trade off for that is waiting up to a year) but generally speaking, to do what you're suggesting, you need money.

To your point OP, I also think itsounds like you have good coping techniques. I'm in the same boat, I've got enough figured out to manage. I would absolutely love to have regular therapy because as someone else said above, it IS great to just have a really good, insightful listener but I can't afford it.

 

[LittleJem]

I was recommended Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation therapy as a way to reverse the effects of depression since EMDR, DBT, and CBT have failed. Still haven't called the doctor in charge of that yet.

I'm trying this ATM. It's a treatment with magnets. Different to talking therapy thank goodness.

 

[Symbiote]

I'm trying this ATM. It's a treatment with magnets. Different to talking therapy thank goodness.

How does that feel on your head? How far along treatment are you in?

 

[AutoTap]

My coping therapies may be good but my anxiety and depression still cripples me to where I can't really function and do basic things needed to survive/live.

 

[LittleJem]

How does that feel on your head? How far along treatment are you in?

It's fine for me. Not too noisy. Only a little bit of pain, which is kind of a nice distraction from mental illness.

 

[Symbiote]

It's fine for me. Not too noisy. Only a little bit of pain, which is kind of a nice distraction from mental illness.

Like tingling pain or pressure from the magnets?

The therapy has been on the backburner for awhile as I researched it more. I have to be a bit more careful with anything placed on my head because of my history of concussions. I've had more than a dozen serious concussions in my life time that I was turned down for ECT. The doctor was 70% sure it wouldn't cause short term memory loss, but 30% of uncertainty is pretty big IMO when it came to TMS.

 

[LittleJem]

Like tingling pain or pressure from the magnets?

The therapy has been on the backburner for awhile as I researched it more. I have to be a bit more careful with anything placed on my head because of my history of concussions. I've had more than a dozen serious concussions in my life time that I was turned down for ECT. The doctor was 70% sure it wouldn't cause short term memory loss, but 30% of uncertainty is pretty big IMO when it came to TMS.

I'm sorry, that is a tough decision.

There's some pressure, it doesn't hurt my head, but it can give me a little neck ache, as it clamps your head in one position.

Pain-wise, I don't know quite how to describe it, and I'm not sure if this is a good description, but it's like a bit of my head is being plucked like a violin. For me it isn't that painful (and I hate pain) and I don't get headaches afterwards, though some people do.,,

 

[Throwawaysoul]

Same here. My therapist is younger than me by A LOT. Didn't even know what Anhedonia was. I'm sure they're great with teens. Everything in the office is aimed towards children. I only see them as a requirement to get meds. It's a complete waste of time. I'm also afraid to open up in fear of my kid being taken away. My last therapist threatened me with that when I mentioned I kept them out of school for three days while I investigated possible pedophile in the school. "You know I can call the State for keeping them out right?" I'll never trust another one again until my child is an adult.

 

[ut0pia1992]

I guess a song could > work <-good luck ;)

 

[Desi]

I struggled with therapy too. I hung for a long time, though, a couple of years. Tried to quit at some point, he said no, but i suspect it's part of the process. With psychiatrists and psychothrapists , you never know if they really mean what they say, they are very manipulative. I understand it's mostly for the good of the patient but still. I learnt things during therapy, i can't say it was useless but i also know that i resisted, part of me just resisted to opening up. I couldn't tell the whole truth, i couldn't and therefore it can't be a success, of course. I understand that, i understand i didn't cross the river and i did it to myself. At the end, i think i was acting, it was leading nowhere, i know It. I see it as unfinished work. Hopefully it was one step in the right direction, on a very tortuous path of mine.

 

[AutoTap]

I struggled with therapy too. I hung for a long time, though, a couple of years. Tried to quit at some point, he said no, but i suspect it's part of the process. With psychiatrists and psychothrapists , you never know if they really mean what they say, they are very manipulative. I understand it's mostly for the good of the patient but still. I learnt things during therapy, i can't say it was useless but i also know that i resisted, part of me just resisted to opening up. I couldn't tell the whole truth, i couldn't and therefore it can't be a success, of course. I understand that, i understand i didn't cross the river and i did it to myself. At the end, i think i was acting, it was leading nowhere, i know It. I see it as unfinished work. Hopefully it was one step in the right direction, on a very tortuous path of mine.

Yeh the problem is we can't open up or we get sent to psych wards :/

 

[Sherri]

I also feel my therapy is t working, I wanted to stop taking the anti depressants, but the doc said either you continue to take it or I can't treat you as I see improvements, I'm like do you? You have no idea what is inside my head and no idea how much I cry when I'm alone at home.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

Therapists are filthy parasites who don't actually help you. They just waste your time and money, and poke at your emotional buttons under the pretext of helping you. They tell you you'll "feel better in the long run", only the long run will never come. Because if you actually feel better, you'll stop seeing them, which means they lose the income, from you or your insurance. So it serves their financial interests to keep you both alive and depressed, for as long as possible.

 

[IAmExhausted]

I don't know. I always thought about therapy as being a little weird. I mean you go to see someone for a certain amount of time, tell your most private stuff and then after that specified time frame you leave and never see this person again. Or at least that's how it is supposed to be. I always had this thought you must have a more personal relationship with your therapist. Impossible for him or her to offer with ten or who knows how many "clients" on the hand. At the end it's only life tips they give to you. Like you can get from a book. It may be a pessimistic way of seeing things but that's why I personally prefer to see psychiatrists instead of therapists.

Filthy parasites, that's a bit a harsh. But well, in terms of financial interests it might be true for some of them. I actually never saw it this way.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

Filthy parasites, that's a bit a harsh. But well, in terms of financial interests it might be true for some of them. I actually never saw it this way.

I think my problem is that the bulk of my therapy experiences took place when I was a minor. They were, pretty much, my family's therapist, not mine. I was merely an object brought in for repairs. Of course, they pretended to be my friend, and pushed---no, make that "forced"---me to open up. I fell for their charade, and did open up. They just laughed at me and/or told me I was wrong, although it was hard to determine if they told my family anything. The bitter feelings remained, because some sessions were so bad, that I was depressed for days afterwards. I started smoking and drinking before I was even 16.

So I stand by my opinion about therapists: they really are filthy parasites. Or maybe this is true only for therapist who "help" kids and teens, while therapist who "help" adults are merely woowoo charlatans.