Venting i feel like someone's watching me

[BPDbitch]

It's stressing me out. I feel like they're watching me through my computer and are going to take me if I don't outrun them.

 

[_Minsk]

do you have any benzos at hand like valium?

 

[BPDbitch]

do you have any benzos at hand like valium?

nope, and I'm too freaked out to even go and smoke. the sooner i ctb the better

 

[Final Escape]

You aren't on meth or anything right? ADD meds?

 

[BPDbitch]

You aren't on meth or anything right? ADD meds?

no i don't take any drugs or medication

 

[Final Escape]

no i don't take any drugs or medication

Ok, is this something that happens regularly? I'm not trying to fix it just curious.

 

[BPDbitch]

Ok, is this something that happens regularly? I'm not trying to fix it just curious.

no it just came on a few hours ago. i think i must be losing my mind haha

 

[ThingWithFeathers]

Hi there, sorry you are having these thoughts. But the good thing is that you have good insight, you know that this is not real. I assume you have been diagnosed with BPD, given it is your username. These persecutory thoughts could also be paranoia, as in paranoid schizophrenia or as a personality disorder. Some drugs, like stimulants, like ecstasy or meth can cause this too. Please consult a psychiatrist.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

I have BPD and if I were in your shoes, I would turn my computer off for a short time to stop the watchers. There are meds that will help.
Maybe access this site via phone for support?
If it might help, cover up the camera and mic on the computer with tape.
My BPD often manifests with a sense of being watched and judged, more vague, and less concrete, but the feeling sounds familiar.
Remember, anything in your computer cannot run. It cannot outrun you. The electronics are immobile. They are just a series of "0" digits and "1" digits, that activate on/off circuits.
You are a survivor of BPD, and that means that you can choose to get through this until you can get medical care.
What you are feeling is treatable, I know because I live with BPD. I don't like meds, but they help when I feel watched and scared.

 

[CalmStrikeofMercy]

I have run into this in my life in the work place. Had the same thoughts. Tested my delusions and they were true. There is a rash of cyber punks stalking around. Try downloading antivirus technology and download programs to clean out your files. If you still want privacy, you can pay for a tor browser where things are more protected. Heard duckduckgo is a search engine that gives more anonyminity.