Details are too stupid to discuss legitimately but I've been purposefully withholding getting paid at work because quite frankly I have not done any work for the past month or so (work from home). I just couldn't make myself do it. If I ask for payment though they'll find me out and fire me, probably. But I need the income and people are asking me if everything is going okay and I don't have the heart to tell them it's just the old self-sabotage again. I have a cord set up in my shower ready to go for partial suspension but I haven't had the practice necessary to know what will work quickly. But I have to go, and soon. I can't keep living like this. I can't keep being a failure.
that sounds like a tricky situation with work. i feel like a failure, myself. life sucks. be sure to do as much research and preparation as you can before carrying out a ctb method, if that's the path you end up taking. wouldn't want to live with the consequences of a failed attempt. i hope you find relief from your suffering in whatever form is best for you.
I also feel like a failure, although no one would probably say that to my face, I think hanging could be very tricky as what if the shower pipe didn't hold, it might just bend enough and then you might not be successful, also I think it's painful too. I wish I had an answer for you and me both. Just a quick relief, that's all I want. Please know that you are loved and will be missed by someone or many out there.
locked*n*loaded
Archangel
- Apr 15, 2022
- 7,262
Have you done your homework on that method? Are you sure that a shower rod (I presume that's what you infer) is going to be strong enough? Or, are you planning on tying off on the shower head pipe? How high is the risk of failure? Can you live with a failure? Sounds risky to me, but I'm no expert at partial. Not my way. Maybe try and think things through a bit, and cover all the bases, and not just go on impulse.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 37,160
I have never attempted hanging before as it scares me and sounds like a difficult method. Dying should not be this hard, we should be able to pass away peacefully without having to worry about the method failing. I understand the feeling of being desperate to leave and I know that it is hard to carry on when you suffer so much. Best wishes. I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you.
