Venting I feel like my family sees me in front of them yet they don’t see me at all

[thronesick]

To be an observer who notifies everything who notices the slight change of mannerisms in someone that indicates a mood is to be someone that no one else notices. I feel like my family sees me in front of them and yet they don't see me at all. I attempted suicide when I was in sixth grade. Every physical exam mental wellness test I scored extremely low and despite my PTSD my mother still belittles me emotionally abuses me yells at me just like my former abuser. the other day i opened up to my emotionally immature mom and told her how cruel her words are when she's mad for which she mad a face almost mocking she tightened her lips and shrugged her shoulders to reply with "Well what if I mean what I said" Everyday the volume of the emotional neglect I received from my mother becomes more apparent. People don't realize how important nurture and physical touch are for the development of a child. Up until the day I end my life will people understand where I was coming from maybe they won't understand at all because how could they possible understand the volume of my illness if they dismissed and invalidated every single sign.

 

[Princess_Kitty]

I'm sorry, families can be so cruel yet they wonder why we don't open up to them. This is why. I stopped talking to my adopted family and probably will to the day I ctb. I also feel like my family sees me yet they don't. I've always felt like I never belonged in the family. I am the 3rd child and my mother treats my sister and brother better than me. Part of reason why I'm choosing to ctb.

Hang in there @thronesick, you may feel like you don't have a family anymore but at least you still have us in here. Sometimes people over the Internet treat us way better than friends/family irl, kinda sad but what can you do. My dm always open if u or anyone else ever wants to talk

 

[Manfrotto99]

I have come to realise that my family only see me as something to use and put down for their own benefit and nothing more. For me it took half a decade and a recording behind their backs that acknowledged it in their own words, for it to sink into my psyche. We all want and need our family to care at some level and to belong. I really hope your mother has a change of heart before it is too late, that she really sees and acknowledges you for who you are before it is too late and she looses her beautiful daughter.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I think in some part, it's also that they don't want to admit to the world and themselves that their child isn't exactly a well rounded adult. Because, in some/ maybe most ways, maybe they are to blame. To some extent, we are the product of our environments, upbringing and genes- which all came from them.

I also wonder if sometimes they feel like by not pandering to certain fears/ anxieties, it will make them go away. The whole 'tough love' thing. I'm not convinced that works either. I think the better approach is to give the person acknowedgement and support while still insisting that they face their fears now- before they fester and take a hold of them. That would involve admitting the child has a serious problem though- which they may not be willing to face because of the above paragraph. That's what I feel sometimes anyway.

Sometimes I wonder if parents and everyone really realises how difficult it is for us to cope in certain situations. But then I suppose, I also think- maybe everyone deals with certain things. Maybe to different degrees certainly. But, am I or, are we really so ill- equipped to deal with life or, am I/ are we just making excuses? The problem being, we'll never know what it's like to be someone else. We can only go on what they're telling us/ what we can try to describe to them as our own experience.