Venting I feel like I'll go crazy if I stay alive any longer

[Silent.Tears]

So, since my parents started forcing me to get married a week ago I've been feeling even more miserable every single day. I've stood up for myself and told them clearly that I don't want to do it. And now there's just silent war going on between them and I. They won't let me move out of the house, I feel so crippled emotionally. I'm not religious but if there exists a God somewhere, it's my request please take me away when I fall asleep tonight.....just please

 

[Un-]

It's all life is, for the unlucky: it just keeps getting worse. Downhill all the time. It hurts even worse when you didn't anticipate it.. You don't know how life is going to hurt you.. Hurts.. I'm so sorry.

 

[Forever Sleep]

That sounds awful. I'm so sorry. Honestly, arranged marriage isn't something I can really get my head around. Do you know your proposed well? Do you know their ideas on it? It's so difficult to know what to suggest. Are there any people in your family you feel you could confide in? I feel like you do need to be able to talk to someone who truly understands your situation. I can understand why you feel so trapped though and I'm sorry.

 

[jodes2]

That's a bad situation, sorry you're suffering

 

[makethepainstop]

So, since my parents started forcing me to get married a week ago I've been feeling even more miserable every single day. I've stood up for myself and told them clearly that I don't want to do it. And now there's just silent war going on between them and I. They won't let me move out of the house, I feel so crippled emotionally. I'm not religious but if there exists a God somewhere, it's my request please take me away when I fall asleep tonight.....just please

Making you get married! Please enlighten this ignorant man, how can they MAKE you marry someone? What country are you in? You have my sympathy.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a horrific situation to be in, it must be hard to deal with feeling so trapped. If only it was possible for us to just choose to never wake again and finally be free from everything but after all there is nothing fair about this life. I'm sorry that you suffer.

 

[Nirrend]

So, since my parents started forcing me to get married a week ago I've been feeling even more miserable every single day. I've stood up for myself and told them clearly that I don't want to do it. And now there's just silent war going on between them and I. They won't let me move out of the house, I feel so crippled emotionally. I'm not religious but if there exists a God somewhere, it's my request please take me away when I fall asleep tonight.....just please

Hi sweet @silent.tears

I'm really sorry, I imagine how much you are suffering ..

I imagine how hard it is to see any hopes in life while living devastating things.. ❤

You're courageous to endure such pain,

Loving you ❤

 

[Silent.Tears]

That sounds awful. I'm so sorry. Honestly, arranged marriage isn't something I can really get my head around. Do you know your proposed well? Do you know their ideas on it? It's so difficult to know what to suggest. Are there any people in your family you feel you could confide in? I feel like you do need to be able to talk to someone who truly understands your situation. I can understand why you feel so trapped though and I'm sorry.

I don't know that person at all, never met them. Actually there's nobody in the family understanding enough to see things from my pov. It's really difficult to explain. I have talked to a couple of my friends and they agree with me but there's not much that they can do as they're not "family". It's hell

Making you get married! Please enlighten this ignorant man, how can they MAKE you marry someone? What country are you in? You have my sympathy.

Forced marriages are very common in this third world country. Parents emotionally blackmail, manipulate their "adult" children into getting married to a stranger. Often it is someone you never met in your entire life and you don't get to spend enough time with them to really get to know them as a person. By now I can write a whole book on this topic. A paragraph can only help scratch the surface of this issue. I'm sorry for my incorrect English.

Making you get married! Please enlighten this ignorant man, how can they MAKE you marry someone? What country are you in? You have my sympathy.

Forced marriages are very common in this third world country. Parents emotionally blackmail, manipulate their "adult" children into getting married to a stranger. Often it is someone you never met in your entire life and you don't get to spend enough time with them to really get to know them as a person. By now I can write a whole book on this topic. A paragraph can only help scratch the surface of this issue. I'm sorry for my incorrect English.

That sounds like a horrific situation to be in, it must be hard to deal with feeling so trapped. If only it was possible for us to just choose to never wake again and finally be free from everything but after all there is nothing fair about this life. I'm sorry that you suffer.

I've got to say this, I'm your fan and I feel honoured to have received your comment on the only post I've made on this platform (yet). I've these feelings that I often find difficult to put into words and when I read your posts/comments I experience those "Eureka!" moments of my life. Thank you

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't know that person at all, never met them. Actually there's nobody in the family understanding enough to see things from my pov. It's really difficult to explain. I have talked to a couple of my friends and they agree with me but there's not much that they can do as they're not "family". It's hell

Forced marriages are very common in this third world country. Parents emotionally blackmail, manipulate their "adult" children into getting married to a stranger. Often it is someone you never met in your entire life and you don't get to spend enough time with them to really get to know them as a person. By now I can write a whole book on this topic. A paragraph can only help scratch the surface of this issue. I'm sorry for my incorrect English.

Forced marriages are very common in this third world country. Parents emotionally blackmail, manipulate their "adult" children into getting married to a stranger. Often it is someone you never met in your entire life and you don't get to spend enough time with them to really get to know them as a person. By now I can write a whole book on this topic. A paragraph can only help scratch the surface of this issue. I'm sorry for my incorrect English.

I've got to say this, I'm your fan and I feel honoured to have received your comment on the only post I've made on this platform (yet). I've these feelings that I often find difficult to put into words and when I read your posts/comments I experience those "Eureka!" moments of my life. Thank you

It does sound 'hell.' I'm sorry. You must feel do trapped. I wish I knew what to say to help.

 

[Silent.Tears]

Hi sweet @silent.tears

I'm really sorry, I imagine how much you are suffering ..

I imagine how hard it is to see any hopes in life while living devastating things.. ❤

You're courageous to endure such pain,

Loving you ❤

Awww, you are so sweet. To be honest, this platform boosts my courage. It really has helped me a lot and makes me feel a little less lonely
Thank you all for your kind words. I'm sorry for my incorrect English. English isn't my first language. I feel like all this stress is deteriorating all of my skills including linguistics.

It does sound 'hell.' I'm sorry. You must feel do trapped. I wish I knew what to say to help.

And I wish people like you lived near me. I want to a part of society where kind people (like everybody here) live. You are kinda helping me with your kind words anyway so don't feel bad for me this forum is my cozy place

 

[nopride86]

I relate to this. Granted, I live in the US but the immense pressure to perform the cultural and physical roles placed on us by our family of origin is….crushing. It's why I want to die too.

My mom once "joked" that she'd have me force-impregnated if I didn't do it myself soon, now that I'm turning 30 and unmarried. It scares the shit out of me. I am not mentally, emotionally, or physically capable of giving her what she wants.

I don't have any advice, I'm just so so sorry that you are in this situation. This life is not fair. We are "blessed" with free will yet unable to exercise that basic human right. That instead we must witness ourselves become trapped and suffering.
The only thing I can think of is striking a deal with you parents to buy time, one more year to find someone yourself instead of arranged. One more year to either come up with a solid ctb plan or an escape plan.

 

[ShuttingDown]

Yeah same

 

[Nirrend]

Awww, you are so sweet. To be honest, this platform boosts my courage. It really has helped me a lot and makes me feel a little less lonely
Thank you all for your kind words. I'm sorry for my incorrect English. English isn't my first language. I feel like all this stress is deteriorating all of my skills including linguistics.

And I wish people like you lived near me. I want to a part of society where kind people (like everybody here) live. You are kinda helping me with your kind words anyway so don't feel bad for me this forum is my cozy place

No problem, I don't like to see people feeling bad ❤

Yes I understand when you talk about "feeling like your losing skills". Being suicidal causes difficulties on the brain level (by this I mean skills such as memorization, retrieving information from memory, speed, attention, organization and many others)

If you want, I don't know if this will make you feel better, but you're not really losing your skills, it's more like you're having a harder time using what you have right now (because they're not really going away)

It's like driving, from one day to the next you're more stressed, you make more mistakes, you're less satisfied of yourself

You'll see, as soon as this grey cloud passes, you'll feel competent and you'll be satisfied with what you're able to do again ❤

When we're doing badly, we tend to forget how much we have the right to be proud of ourselves

Love ❤