Venting I feel like I cannot be honest with people because I am pro-choice

[Piituri]

Hello everyone, this is my first thread here. I just want to vent how I feel like I cannot be honest with people because I am pro-choice. I hate it. Like my therapist always asks me if I am having current suicidal thoughts recently, I always have to lie to her, which bothers me as I feel like I would get better treatment if I am able to be honest about my thoughts of suicide, but the risk of hospitalization is too high. My mom and sister also oftentimes ask me what is wrong and I have to lie to them about how I am feeling, as even when I say I have suicidal ideation but no plan or intent I get mad.

I also get really frustrated with my mom and sister because they want me to be alive, but I cannot tell them I'm frustrated because I'm afraid of being hospitalized again. Sorry if this sounds like word salad, it is just I have a lot of things on my mind and this is the first time I really got this out. Thanks to those who respond, and I am glad to finally join this community after being a long time lurker.

 

[Polly]

Yeah. Welcome to the catch 22. Talking about it to the professionals would be helpful but is not safe.

 

[Amorphous Blob]

Don't worry about word salad, your post's fine :) I wholeheartedly agree with you but I've taken a different approach but I'm very blunt and direct soI just tell my therapist I won't answer the question, I even say to anyone who asks I don't care if I live or die it's all the same to me now so I may as well shift off this mortal coil. Noone really reacts or says anything although may speak more about the people around me idk

 

[Backwood_tilt]

Yeah it's pretty shitty.

Kinda defeats the whole point of the exercise if you can't be honest about your most intimate thoughts, in your darkest moments, with mental health professionals.

We will look upon this as primitive savagery in future generations.

 

[Piituri]

Yeah. Welcome to the catch 22. Talking about it to the professionals would be helpful but is not safe.

Yeah it is so annoying, like I wish pro lifers can atleast compromise by admitting that open discussion of suicide is healthy and the realities of people like us who want to die and are not just compulsively suicidal. Pro lifers in the mental health field claim that there should be an "open discussion" about suicide but it is very shallow. Admitting you have a pro life stance freaks these people out.

 

[squirtsoda]

Yeah it's annoying, especially in particularly religious areas. Either people are horrified when you discuss pro-choice views, mainly just assisted suicide for the ill, or they just seem to think you like to take controversial opinions for the shock value. The area I live in is very very catholic and that does not mix well with pro-choice views obviously.

 

[InfiniteSadness]

I feel you, i've had to act like everything is fine for years now. I hate it, and it's really exhausting keeping everything inside, in fact it makes me feel even worse. On the other note, not related to the topic at all, your username is an actual Finnish word, the country where i'm from, just a funny observation, i'll shut up now.

 

[Ghost2211]

It is hard to talk to people about being pro-choice when it comes to our own death if it will emotionally affect them to watch us die. I completely understand where you're coming from and would also love to be able to discuss my thoughts and feelings with people around me, but I also understand why they can't handle that discussion.

That is why this group is a wonderful Place. We have ability to speak freely and openly without fear of hospitalization or judgement.

 

[TAW122]

I'm in the same situation too. I am very pro-choice when it comes to decisions about suicide and living. If someone wishes to live and love life, that's fine as long as they don't impose it, force it on others, and the same thing with pro-death people. Being pro-choice means that the decision is always up to the individual and that no one should coerce or pressure another into either living or dying.

Back to the point though, yes, I find it really difficult as well to talk about things honestly because the moment I speak about various topics like death, right to choose, euthanasia, suicide, assisted suicide, etc. people start looking at me with some preconceived view that I must be crisis or must be depressed and what not. It is not only insulting, degrading, but far from the truth. This does nothing but shut down any open dialogue and also puts the person who is discussing the topic at risk of being hospitalized or criticized and judged. I really fucking hate the patronizing, condescending tones espoused by others IRL, thus I have simply refrained from ever speaking about it (also because I already know what they are going to say and they aren't going to change my mind). I am not looking for pity, pep talks, patronization, talked down, to change my mind, or even be judged and bullied more, I am looking for people who will respect my decision (which apparently is too much to ask for). Therefore, the only place that I can have that with all the bullshit, misunderstanding, patronization, and possibly hospitalization/interference is this platform. This platform has been invaluable for me in such that not only had I acquired my method (in the past) but also have a community of people who share similar sentiments (pro-choice) and also would it logically, without passing judgment, or bombarding me with cliches, platitudes, useless advice, or even just downright shaming.

 

[Piituri]

Back to the point though, yes, I find it really difficult as well to talk about things honestly because the moment I speak about various topics like death, right to choose, euthanasia, suicide, assisted suicide, etc. people start looking at me with some preconceived view that I must be crisis or must be depressed and what not. It is not only insulting, degrading, but far from the truth. This does nothing but shut down any open dialogue and also puts the person who is discussing the topic at risk of being hospitalized or criticized and judged. I really fucking hate the patronizing, condescending tones espoused by others IRL, thus I have simply refrained from ever speaking about it (also because I already know what they are going to say and they aren't going to change my mind). I am not looking for pity, pep talks, patronization, talked down, to change my mind, or even be judged and bullied more, I am looking for people who will respect my decision (which apparently is too much to ask for). Therefore, the only place that I can have that with all the bullshit, misunderstanding, patronization, and possibly hospitalization/interference is this platform. This platform has been invaluable for me in such that not only had I acquired my method (in the past) but also have a community of people who share similar sentiments (pro-choice) and also would it logically, without passing judgment, or bombarding me with cliches, platitudes, useless advice, or even just downright shaming.

Yeah I fucking hate the patronizing tone. These prolifers think they know what's better for you than you do. Fuck that holier-than-thou attitude these people have. I like this place a lot because we can discuss these issues without that BS.