I feel like a failure

[DepressedAngel]

So I finally decided/figured out I am bi! I'm really happy I learned about more of myself and I want to share it with the people I love....except my family :( I feel like they might judge me or think I'm doing it for attention, so I'm scared to tell them. Do I have to tell them at all? I guess not but I feel bad about not telling them and about not wanting to tell them. What should I do? Is there any good way to come out to them, or do I just show up with a girlfriend one day??

 

[memataporfavor]

I think you should only tell'em when/if you feel comfortable doing it. It's not like you need their approval to be bi. I know we face a lot of discrimination, mostly by parents, bc they tend to think we are just "confused" bc we like more than one gender....
In my opinion, the best way to do it, its first coming out to ppl you trust more than them, like a friend or a sibling, idk... Or just go and do you, wait 'till you're more confident and secure. Build a barrier against any possible rejection (i hope this does not happen, I'm really hoping your parents are the accepting kind), still, we never know, right? So, if you dont feel safe abt tellin'em now, wait a bit... you have time




oh and btw you're def. not a failure bc of that; I've been there... you know how it works, right?
we live in a society and stuff

 

[DepressedAngel]

I think you should only tell'em when/if you feel comfortable doing it. It's not like you need their approval to be bi. I know we face a lot of discrimination, mostly by parents, bc they tend to think we are just "confused" bc we like more than one gender....
In my opinion, the best way to do it, its first coming out to ppl you trust more than them, like a friend or a sibling, idk... Or just go and do you, wait 'till you're more confident and secure. Build a barrier against any possible rejection (i hope this does not happen, I'm really hoping your parents are the accepting kind), still, we never know, right? So, if you dont feel safe abt tellin'em now, wait a bit... you have time




oh and btw you're def. not a failure bc of that; I've been there... you know how it works, right?
we live in a society and stuff

Thank you so much for responding! I've already told many friends, so I'm comfortable telling people, and my mom is accepting so I'm not sure what the problem is. I think it's that my sister says she's bi, but my mom told me she thinks it's to fit in with her friends. I don't disagree, just because I know how my sister works, but I don't want my mom to think the same of me because that is definitely not my situation.

 

[Jean4]

Lots of love and I am so proud of you!
Second, if you have a good relationship with you mom, she will understand.

 

[DepressedAngel]

Lots of love and I am so proud of you!
Second, if you have a good relationship with you mom, she will understand.

Unfortunately I don't have the best relationship with her :( I've never really trusted her which also makes this really hard. Do you think she might still understand if I tell her?

 

[Jean4]

Unfortunately I don't have the best relationship with her :( I've never really trusted her which also makes this really hard. Do you think she might still understand if I tell her?

Honestly, I am not even going to guess. You know your relationship with your mom, and I don't know the reason for your distrust. You know her best. I would trust your instincts.

 

[DepressedAngel]

Honestly, I am not even going to guess. You know your relationship with your mom, and I don't know the reason for your distrust. You know her best. I would trust your instincts.

Okay. Thank you for your help! Sending love and hugs

 

[the_inbetween]

Congrats on your self discovery. Trust your gut with regards to telling family.

 

[MysticPerception]

I haven't told my family at all that I'm bi. But that's because they would start treating me differently just like everyone else would. In a positive way I guess but I don't want to be celebrated because my sexuality isn't the average standard. That's just on my end though as for you like other said trust your instincts. I haven't told anyone in person for personal reasons but yeah you don't need to tell them. If you feel the need for validation when it comes to your future relationship with your family then you could just bring a girl home like you said. But otherwise do they need to know you're in a relationship? I'm not saying necessarily keeping it a secret at all costs but you don't have to outright state it to them if you feel you can't trust them at all to accept it. Either way I wish you luck in your endeavors and hope whatever you choose to do it doesn't blow up in your face later.

 

[Cevapcici]

As much as I would love to guide you with this decision， no one but you can anticipate your family's reaction and make a decision based off it.

 

[mathieu]

You don't have to tell them. It's only your business and doesn't affect them.