H

Hahem

Knows too much
Feb 4, 2023
74
Everyone's in a rush to sucess
They are all far into the race
And I feel like I'm on the last spots
I look around and everyone seems better than me
I can't stop comparing myself
They seem to be overall living life, having friendships and going to somewhere
I feel stuck, I feel useless, I feel it is to late to start, there's no point in trying anymore
The boat has already sailed
I feel dumb, even though people think I'm smart
I feel weak, tired all the time
Yesterday I woke up feeling so weak, I could barely move

Look, I don't think I'm getting out of this one alive
The selection is just to strong, I think I will be one of those filtered out
Sad, sometimes I think of all that I could've been, all my potential, but then I just feel even more disappointed
And even if I get there, what will be the point? Just to show to society that they had judged me wrong? To show to people (and my family) that they had treated me unfairly? To gain attention and temporary approval? But isn't that what life is all about?
Somewhere there's still that deep mourning of a simpler life, without the pressure and hurry of modern life, losing count of the days, just waiting for the sun to go by

Sorry for the long rambling, but had to get that out of my chest
 
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