Venting i feel invalidated

[Life_and_Death]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/how-would-you-feel.50544/

this poll was a minor example of this. which im not going to go into again. the big problem

"i want to......." it doesnt matter what i want to do. he tells me everything that can go wrong with my idea and all the problems with it and basically everything that would make whatever i want to do a bad idea, he has to tell me about it. but when he wants to do something he just goes and does it, while im left sitting there doing nothing i want to do because idc anymore. i mean imagine you going to someone and saying i want to..... and they they throw everything wrong at you. when all they tell you is the negative youre not going to be very interested anymore so now i just keep my mouth shut. and yes i tried to talk to him before and i said i wish you wouldnt do that and his answer was "i just want to give you all the information" ok i get that but youre taking perfectly harmless things that might make me upset for a day or so because it didnt work out my way and making me completely reject the idea like im going to die if i do. like......i was on kijiji one day and there was a......i want to say it was a cross dresser and they wanted a girl to help them. i wanted to help them with that (yes i know why this one could go wrong please dont point it out) i thought it could have been fun for me but he knows nothing about this along with other things because i just dont want to hear it and once i do im just not going to do it anyway so whats the point on ever mentioning.

and he does this with like everything i want to do. like i wanted to make kind of like a sister site to this one but for recovery alone because i noticed that the lines on this site between suicide recovery and offtopic are a little blurry "oh well this that and the other thing and its a lot of work....." gee thank you for treating me like an idiot and like i cant do it. i was working towards recovery. i dont want to be surrounded by suicide that was the point of this site. but that ideas long gone he killed it.

its just really difficult when everything you say doesnt matter. i have my beliefs and my fights i want to fight for but all this stuff can go wrong. but the second he has a problem hes off sending an angry email to someone.....but apparently i cant.....but you can. for just once......i want him to shut up and say "i believe in you sweetie" and stand by me......not show me everything thats wrong with everything i want do. and the worse part....since the beginning of our relationship......hes said "whats good for the goose is good for the gander" then take your own advice and shut up and let me be me


i feel like.....he controls me. ill get pissed off about something because its wrong, immoral whatevers wrong.......like how the boss let an asshole at work bully me by saying im on my period and threaten to kill me (with the boss right there) and my husband should control me bullshit like that just being a major fucking douche. and now i want to die because i have "problems" and i feel like shit we still have to do things differently now because my husband still works there and that fucking asshole still works there so my husband has to do things completely differently all because of me and i didnt do fucking anything except get treated like shit. i wanted to go to the labour board or who the fuck ever would get that asshole fired instead im dealing with episodes and feeling like shit and worthless every night because of this. all because he basically "talked me out of it" then left my disorders to do the rest so id forget. and hopefully last night was either my last night going to work or my husbands finally going to learn how to get a bigger boot to shove up someones a**

 

[Ghost2211]

Do you stand up for yourself and tell him you feel like you are not being treated well? This sounds like a pot ready to boil over. I would sit down and talk it out, and if he doesn't care enough to listen do yourself a favor and find someone that does care.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Do you stand up for yourself and tell him you feel like you are not being treated well? This sounds like a pot ready to boil over. I would sit down and talk it out, and if he doesn't care enough to listen do yourself a favor and find someone that does care.

like i said ive talked to him about it before and he said that hes just trying to give me all the information but where this work thing has been going on for a yearish and its to the point its making me more suicidal so now i have something to back it up like.....if you had of let me then i wouldnt be like this now......i think he'll finally clue in. thats how i had to get therapy too. "i watched what it did to my son and they just handed him drugs" (I NEED THOSE DRUGS) so basically he got to watch me decline mentally for a year or so before finally saying ok you need a therapist. no now i need more then a therapist and they probably cant even help at this point. (im not exactly sure it could have been less then a year but i know i was a while) hes really got to stop waiting until the damage is done before he sees it

 

[Ghost2211]

If talking doesn't work and he justifies being an asshole he'll never stop. I'm sorry you're being treated this way. Him telling you that you shouldn't get therapy or try meds if you want to is manipulative controlling behavior.

 

[Life_and_Death]

If talking doesn't work and he justifies being an asshole he'll never stop. I'm sorry you're being treated this way. Him telling you that you shouldn't get therapy or try meds if you want to is manipulative controlling behavior.

i dont blame him for that. he was honestly concerned what i told you that he told me about his son wasnt a lie. i just wish he would listen. as far as the majority of the post......yeah some of the things he does comes off as manipulative but i cant do anything because its like i also said...i forget.

 

[Ghost2211]

i dont blame him for that. he was honestly concerned what i told you that he told me about his son wasnt a lie. i just wish he would listen. as far as the majority of the post......yeah some of the things he does comes off as manipulative but i cant do anything because its like i also said...i forget.

What if you write him a letter so he can't argue he just has to read it before talking?

 

[Life_and_Death]

What if you write him a letter so he can't argue he just has to read it before talking?

i think im going to message him about it.