Thisgirlwantstosleep
A pointless life had in a pointless world
- Mar 11, 2019
- 129
I can't just get a job and try and make it in this world.
My BPD and my appearance make it impossible to hold down a job; because I'm ugly and look frail and weak people always try to start shit with me, then because of my BPD I have an angry outburst which causes further problems.
I have OCD so I can't just get roommates.
I'm a very anxious and paranoid person.
Im surviving off of government benefits right now which allows me to live on my own but I definitely don't want to for the rest of my life.
I can't afford to move so I'm stuck in this tiny studio. If I don't stay here I'll have to move back in with family.
I don't want to but renting when you're on benefits is awful especially being a young person for reasons I can't be asked to disclose.
I'll never be able to afford my own place in this city because the chances of me getting a high paying fancy job in my condition is 0.
I have no job history other than shitty retail, I can't work anyway. I don't have any hobbies or go out anywhere because of my Body Dysmorphia and the fact I have no friends. I hate myself, can't handle stress at all. I'm not exactly a shining candidate.
The older I get the more I'm beginning to realise just how much my family has crippled me but in my current state I have no choice but to rely on them.
The only social interaction I have is with my family. My mum takes me shopping most of the time because I can't go by myself.
I feel so trapped.
I wish everything was different.
My BPD and my appearance make it impossible to hold down a job; because I'm ugly and look frail and weak people always try to start shit with me, then because of my BPD I have an angry outburst which causes further problems.
I have OCD so I can't just get roommates.
I'm a very anxious and paranoid person.
Im surviving off of government benefits right now which allows me to live on my own but I definitely don't want to for the rest of my life.
I can't afford to move so I'm stuck in this tiny studio. If I don't stay here I'll have to move back in with family.
I don't want to but renting when you're on benefits is awful especially being a young person for reasons I can't be asked to disclose.
I'll never be able to afford my own place in this city because the chances of me getting a high paying fancy job in my condition is 0.
I have no job history other than shitty retail, I can't work anyway. I don't have any hobbies or go out anywhere because of my Body Dysmorphia and the fact I have no friends. I hate myself, can't handle stress at all. I'm not exactly a shining candidate.
The older I get the more I'm beginning to realise just how much my family has crippled me but in my current state I have no choice but to rely on them.
The only social interaction I have is with my family. My mum takes me shopping most of the time because I can't go by myself.
I feel so trapped.
I wish everything was different.