letthisbeover
Member
- Feb 7, 2022
- 6
At first I cried a lot, but now I just feel empty and don't want to do anything. I used to shower every day, without exception, no matter how bad I felt. Today I couldn't even do that. I can't make myself do really anything. Not even listen to music, and watching movies is really damn hard, even sleeping is. I'm not able to distract myself from the emptiness I feel inside.
And I haven't thought about ctb in quite a while, but lately even existing feels hard, so I decided to finally make a profile here I guess and rethink it all again.
There are a few reasons why that's happening, but I think my mind is just making things even worse, bc before no matter how bad I felt, for the outside world I could make myself look like everything is fine.
I will now though go to sleep, shower and possibly will have a bearable day tomorrow. So I hope everything becomes okay for now, bc currently I wouldn't be able to ctb even if I wanted to. But the thought of it keeps me a little bit sane in this world.
And I haven't thought about ctb in quite a while, but lately even existing feels hard, so I decided to finally make a profile here I guess and rethink it all again.
There are a few reasons why that's happening, but I think my mind is just making things even worse, bc before no matter how bad I felt, for the outside world I could make myself look like everything is fine.
I will now though go to sleep, shower and possibly will have a bearable day tomorrow. So I hope everything becomes okay for now, bc currently I wouldn't be able to ctb even if I wanted to. But the thought of it keeps me a little bit sane in this world.