I feel bad all the time

[AshClouds]

… and I don't what to do. Everyday it just feel this pain inside of me, and sometimes it gets really bad like right now. I just get these moments where I suffer from an emotional breakdown and I start sobbing uncontrollably and feel trapped and just keep thinking how much I want to die. Sometimes it happens multiple times day. One time during a breakdown, I thought about calling a suicide hotline, then I figured they just throw useless vague platitudes towards me. Then I started thinking about having someone to reach out to, and it made me feel so pathetic for even having that thought. Why can't I do this myself?

 

[Timelapse]

… and I don't what to do. Everyday it just feel this pain inside of me, and sometimes it gets really bad like right now. I just get these moments where I suffer from an emotional breakdown and I start sobbing uncontrollably and feel trapped and just keep thinking how much I want to die. Sometimes it happens multiple times day. One time during a breakdown, I thought about calling a suicide hotline, then I figured they just throw useless vague platitudes towards me. Then I started thinking about having someone to reach out to, and it made me feel so pathetic for even having that thought. Why can't I do this myself?

I'm in the same predicament. Although, I ended up calling the hotline and they immediately sent the cops. Spent time in a psych-ward, again.

 

[tiredcat]

i'm sorry you have been feeling this way, i know what you're going through isn't easy. just know it's okay if you need help, though i cant really say i can recommend the hotline, but having someone to talk to that may understand what you're experiencing right now might help.

don't feel pathetic for looking for different options. it's hard to get out of the mindset you have alone. not to say it's impossible, but there is no shame in needing help from outside sources.

sending love <3

 

[AshClouds]

yeah, this is no way to live, at all

 

[scared:bug]

i remember once when i called the suicide hotline. when they picked up, it was silent for a long time. i cried. eventually someone spoke. it was like a dream. it was echoed talk. it sounded far away. i dont remember what they said. i think they asked me how i am. it was creepy. i hung up.

 

[Weltall]

… and I don't what to do. Everyday it just feel this pain inside of me, and sometimes it gets really bad like right now. I just get these moments where I suffer from an emotional breakdown and I start sobbing uncontrollably and feel trapped and just keep thinking how much I want to die. Sometimes it happens multiple times day. One time during a breakdown, I thought about calling a suicide hotline, then I figured they just throw useless vague platitudes towards me. Then I started thinking about having someone to reach out to, and it made me feel so pathetic for even having that thought. Why can't I do this myself?

On the bad days, where the sobbing is intense, I just ride the wave.
I know I can't stop it, so I focus on just letting it out.
Occassionally I'll cry-scream into a pillow to get out some frustration.

I know my superego wants me to feel guilty of the things I've failed in my life
The biggest emotional toll is comparing myself to others and remembering how inadequate I am.

Reach out to me via PM if you'd like to talk about anything.
I don't know your story, but I don't mind giving you the courtesy of being listened to.