To preface, I set my Death Day to September 28. Now, rarely I'll look at bottles of N and I am amazed at the positive feelings that come up. I only feel Relief, hope. Excitement. I was expecting to feel guilt and fear every time I looked at them. But I don't, it's the opposite. I am absolutely blown away by this experience.
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Boochky
Fat, bipolar, and hairy. (Sorry boys, I’m taken.)
- Feb 23, 2019
- 333
Yeah,I don't have any but even just thinking about any other method used to cause me to wake up in a panic. Since I've decided to save for N, I definitely do feel relief. We're fortunate to have the option.
I really do agree with you. Without N, I would be so scared. Even with SN I would be terrified. Without N or SN, I'm not sure I would ever be able to ctb because of the fear. It is truly a blessing for us to have access to N. My heart goes out to people if (when?) the day comes that N becomes unavailable, Im scared for myself for that day. I would like to have access to N for the rest of my life- just in case. Hopefully by then compassionate suicide will be normalized,
Boochky
Fat, bipolar, and hairy. (Sorry boys, I’m taken.)
- Feb 23, 2019
- 333
Right. That's the one thing I worry about not having it is that the source could instantly vanish. I'd get it now but storing is an issue because it gets really hot here.
Boochky
Fat, bipolar, and hairy. (Sorry boys, I’m taken.)
- Feb 23, 2019
- 333
No, I rent a room. I know the label is different, but I worry about someone drinking it accidentally or more likely the off chance of cops.
The other day I read a study about Pentobarbital. I'm not sure if it was about the liquid solution or salt form though. I bet the salt would last a lot longer. Anyway, the study showed the potency barely changed after 2 years. Like it dropped around 1% each year. I tried to search for the study but I cant find it again.
You could do something like having a lunchbox and keeping it in there with freezer packs. Lunchbox would be easy to hide, just need to replace the freezer packs to keep the bottles cold. I remember reading about one of these boxes that stayed cold for 3 days. You may be able to find others that are super insulated and stay colder even longer.
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Boochky
Fat, bipolar, and hairy. (Sorry boys, I’m taken.)
- Feb 23, 2019
- 333
Bullit
Mage
- May 6, 2021
- 504
If one of your roommates accidentally drank the N,well,not to be mean but that would be the ultimate Curb Your Enthusiasm moment! You come home,there's Melvin laying on the floor quite dead. One of the roommates looks at you:"Boochky,do you know anything about this?"
CiproKilledMe
Experienced
- Mar 23, 2021
- 243
I'm still scared of N because it can potentially take so long. I wish I had time to find myself a nitrogen tank.
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