Story I failed CTB last night and I’m angry (Portland OR)

[sadone2122]

I tried to climb the fence on the fucking Vista bridge last night and I failed. I tried for over an hour. I noticed that there is like a couple little "doors" there that maybe I can access the bridge if I use bolt cutters to cut the locks… idk… anyone else here from Portland? The cops picked me up and took me to the hospital. The fuxking hospital didn't keep me even though I told them I have a plan and I'm going to try again. They said "if you're going to do it then what good is a couple days in the psych ward going to do for you?" Jeez idk. Maybe get my meds stable. Maybe talk to someone who actually cares. I'm so fucking sick of these fuxking safety plans. All these idiots who tell me to call 988. And when I do, they tell me they care but I know they don't. No one does. My roommate just bitches at me about how it's selfish and she'll be blaming herself for the rest of her life, and she even blames herself now because she thinks that she doesn't show me enough love or whatever. She says that when I kill myself that she will always wonder what she could have done differently and that it will haunt her and it's not fair. HAH being in this pain isn't fucking fair dude

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

I was actually just in your city like almost a full month ago. I made my account on here the day before my flight