I failed (again). I'm a failure. Sorry.

[esquizorzin]

Sorry, just sorry. I want to apologize with everyone who wish me god luck. I want to apologize with everyone who talk to me. And mainly, I want to apologize with myself. Because again even after another attempts, i wasn't able to kill myself.

I try. And i try. And I try again and again for a couple of hours. It wasn't because i didn't have the strength. I try as much as I could. I felt my limbs tingling, but I not felt the main, the vison darkens. I simply couldn't become unconscious. Why? Why is so hard to die? When I try with my finger in my carotids i can achievemnt my vision darkening, but when I try with the ligature I simply can't. One time when I tried again i achieved but... on the secont knot this simply was gone.

It's incredible that everything I try do to i fail, even my own death.

I know that i dont need to kill myself because of other people but I want to apologize again with everyone that were with me on the last night and this morning. Sorry guys. I feel horrible. I feel ashamed.

(Sorry any mistakes, english is not my first language)

 

[cakedog]

don't worry, you don't have to apologize, it happens to a lot of us
don't be so hard on yourself
wishing you peace and sending hugs

 

[soul2realm]

First of all, stop apologizing. It's not in your hand and nobody asked you to. You are in pain and that's understandable. When it's supposed to happen, it will happen.
Tell you the truth even I failed my attempt a few months ago. But that's okay, when it's supposed to happen it will happen.
In the meantime, make a cup of hot beverage, take something to eat and sit in a cozy spot. It helped me. Like I said before, whenever you want to talk or share you have someone to do so.

 

[esquizorzin]

don't worry, you don't have to apologize, it happens to a lot of us
don't be so hard on yourself
wishing you peace and sending hugs

Thanks dude. It's just frustrating the how hard is to actualy die. But I grateful that kind people like you can at least read my words.

 

[soul2realm]

Thanks dude. I would have been very lucky if I had actually die on one of my first attempts.

At least I have this space to say something. Everyone here is very kind :)

Thanks dude. It's just frustrating the how hard is to actualy die. But I grateful that kind people like you can at least read my words.

What's the ETA on that hot beverage..lol.
Just don't feel bad about anything, I understand what you are trying to say. Feel the same way myself. But we have to wait for our train.

 

[esquizorzin]

First of all, stop apologizing. It's not in your hand and nobody asked you to. You are in pain and that's understandable. When it's supposed to happen, it will happen.
Tell you the truth even I failed my attempt a few months ago. But that's okay, when it's supposed to happen it will happen.
In the meantime, make a cup of hot beverage, take something to eat and sit in a cozy spot. It helped me. Like I said before, whenever you want to talk or share you have someone to do so.

Thanks dude. I would have been very lucky if I had actually die on one of my first attempts.

At least I have this space to say something. Everyone here is very kind :)

(Oh boy. I realy need to understand how the replys in this site works, i always do a little mess)

 

[Exhausted546]

Sorry, just sorry. I want to apologize with everyone who wish me god luck. I want to apologize with everyone who talk to me. And mainly, I want to apologize with myself. Because again even after another attempts, i wasn't able to kill myself.

I try. And i try. And I try again and again for a couple of hours. It wasn't because i didn't have the strength. I try as much as I could. I felt my limbs tingling, but I not felt the main, the vison darkens. I simply couldn't become unconscious. Why? Why is so hard to die? When I try with my finger in my carotids i can achievemnt my vision darkening, but when I try with the ligature I simply can't. One time when I tried again i achieved but... on the secont knot this simply was gone.

It's incredible that everything I try do to i fail, even my own death.

I know that i dont need to kill myself because of other people but I want to apologize again with everyone that were with me on the last night and this morning. Sorry guys. I feel horrible. I feel ashamed.

(Sorry any mistakes, english is not my first language)

What method?

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

Failed attempts suck cause you keep telling yourself this is finally it, this will be the one, and it isn't. But hey, plenty of days to do it and no one from SaSu is gonna be angry you're still around (as evident from above comments) in the end we all want the same for each other which is less suffering than we all feel now that's brought us to this website in the first place whether that's through a successful method or through recovery.

 

[esquizorzin]

What's the ETA on that hot beverage..lol.
Just don't feel bad about anything, I understand what you are trying to say. Feel the same way myself. But we have to wait for our train.

Sorry i don't know what this means but I dont think i want to drink or ingest any food for a moment. But thanks again! I feeling better now :D

What method?

Thread 'Notes on Ligature Strangulation (with working dropbox + extra details)' https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...on-with-working-dropbox-extra-details.192152/

It's a very long text but it's incredible how detalied this is.

Failed attempts suck cause you keep telling yourself this is finally it, this will be the one, and it isn't. But hey, plenty of days to do it and no one from SaSu is gonna be angry you're still around (as evident from above comments) in the end we all want the same for each other which is less suffering than we all feel now that's brought us to this website in the first place whether that's through a successful method or through recovery.

I know that everyone here is vere gentleful but on the moment I was just disappointed to myself. Now I just don't know what to do. At least this won't last forever, right? :)

Failed attempts suck cause you keep telling yourself this is finally it, this will be the one, and it isn't. But hey, plenty of days to do it and no one from SaSu is gonna be angry you're still around (as evident from above comments) in the end we all want the same for each other which is less suffering than we all feel now that's brought us to this website in the first place whether that's through a successful method or through recovery.

Hey again! Look, sorry to ask but i was searching about SN here and I see that you reply a post about that. Can you explain me what is SN and how this works?