inconsequential
Enlightened
- Jun 1, 2019
- 1,011
I don't want to go to this pre-op.
I don't want to have another fucking surgery.
I don't want to have another surgery after that because this will fuck up too.
I don't want to be in pain anymore.
I don't want to cry every fucking night out of desperation anymore.
I'm so fucking tired. I am trying to make it a few more years & I just feel, constantly, like I keep hitting new breaking points.
This shit makes me miss my Seroquel + heroin 3-year-long coma. Sure, I was a fat, pock-marked piece of shit, but I couldn't remember anything and slept 16 hours per day. Now I'm all pretty & thinner, and I hate it all even more.
What the fuck is the point to all of this if you can't enjoy life? What the fuck is the point if your moments of happiness only lasts 5 minutes?
I don't want to have another fucking surgery.
I don't want to have another surgery after that because this will fuck up too.
I don't want to be in pain anymore.
I don't want to cry every fucking night out of desperation anymore.
I'm so fucking tired. I am trying to make it a few more years & I just feel, constantly, like I keep hitting new breaking points.
This shit makes me miss my Seroquel + heroin 3-year-long coma. Sure, I was a fat, pock-marked piece of shit, but I couldn't remember anything and slept 16 hours per day. Now I'm all pretty & thinner, and I hate it all even more.
What the fuck is the point to all of this if you can't enjoy life? What the fuck is the point if your moments of happiness only lasts 5 minutes?