throwaway123
Hell0
- Aug 5, 2018
- 1,446
I know I can't stay like this forever but I just don't know what to do. Deep down in my heart I want to die but the process of dying and all that. It's just not for me.
I distract myself all the time because I can't stand my life. Netflix,Youtube,constant daydreams, those are my forms of escapism.
Then life hits me and I get grounded it reality.
I keep thinking that I should do it but everytime I get close I stop. Not because I don't want to but because I'm scared.
I wonder all the time if there will just come a day when I'll just stop. Stop living and finally do it.
At some point the realization will hit me head on. I know the day is coming closer and there might be a day like that soon. I hope so because living like this. Between two worlds with one foot in the grave is not the right way to live.
I also had another revelation. I don't know what happens after death but I do know this. After I die I will cease to exist. I exist only once. My genetics, the environment, other people, my whole life is unique. Everyone's life is unique. We're all one of a kind. I used to want to believe in reincarnation but I don't anymore. It is foolish to believe in any sort of afterlife. We know what happens, we know we will never be in this world again but what we don't know is what happens after if there is anything. The most plausible thing is non-existance and to be honest it is better than the life I'm living. Not existing is better than living forever. Why the hell would anyone want to live in heaven forever?
Life can be very beautiful and the few decades we live make it so precious. If there was an afterlife this life would be worthless. I believe that this is a conclusion most people come to. When you're about to die. Everything you know and love will cease to exist, for you at least.
The world will continue without you. The sun will continue to shine.....
This is heartbreaking but finding everlasting peace trough non-existance gives me a kind of comfort that being alive does not.
In the end we are just animals, biological machines. I know for some this is hard to accept but this is just my view. I am sick of endless discussion about this. Just accept whatever comes after.
This reincarnation bullshit, heaven and hell. These are all constructs designed to keep us locked here. "If you commit suicide you will go to hell" is what they said a few hundred years ago. Today they say "If you commit suicide you will be reincarnated into a worse life" is what they say today. Can't you see the absurdity?
There is no second chance. This is the only life you got and that's what makes it so precious. Your life, your choice. No one but you is capable of deciding when to end it. It's not wrong to end it. Life can be so beautiful but life is not for everyone. There are winners and losers(like me).
It hurts to know that I will never be able to live a life like the ordinary people but it feels good knowing there are people who are capable of enjoying this life they have even if it is a simple one.
Ultimately I feel that whether or not we end our lives is entirely up to us. Don't let anyone scare you into thinking otherwise.
I hope one day people will be able to freely chose their date of depature from this world.
btw I absolutely hate this new age bullshit.
I distract myself all the time because I can't stand my life. Netflix,Youtube,constant daydreams, those are my forms of escapism.
Then life hits me and I get grounded it reality.
I keep thinking that I should do it but everytime I get close I stop. Not because I don't want to but because I'm scared.
I wonder all the time if there will just come a day when I'll just stop. Stop living and finally do it.
At some point the realization will hit me head on. I know the day is coming closer and there might be a day like that soon. I hope so because living like this. Between two worlds with one foot in the grave is not the right way to live.
I also had another revelation. I don't know what happens after death but I do know this. After I die I will cease to exist. I exist only once. My genetics, the environment, other people, my whole life is unique. Everyone's life is unique. We're all one of a kind. I used to want to believe in reincarnation but I don't anymore. It is foolish to believe in any sort of afterlife. We know what happens, we know we will never be in this world again but what we don't know is what happens after if there is anything. The most plausible thing is non-existance and to be honest it is better than the life I'm living. Not existing is better than living forever. Why the hell would anyone want to live in heaven forever?
Life can be very beautiful and the few decades we live make it so precious. If there was an afterlife this life would be worthless. I believe that this is a conclusion most people come to. When you're about to die. Everything you know and love will cease to exist, for you at least.
The world will continue without you. The sun will continue to shine.....
This is heartbreaking but finding everlasting peace trough non-existance gives me a kind of comfort that being alive does not.
In the end we are just animals, biological machines. I know for some this is hard to accept but this is just my view. I am sick of endless discussion about this. Just accept whatever comes after.
This reincarnation bullshit, heaven and hell. These are all constructs designed to keep us locked here. "If you commit suicide you will go to hell" is what they said a few hundred years ago. Today they say "If you commit suicide you will be reincarnated into a worse life" is what they say today. Can't you see the absurdity?
There is no second chance. This is the only life you got and that's what makes it so precious. Your life, your choice. No one but you is capable of deciding when to end it. It's not wrong to end it. Life can be so beautiful but life is not for everyone. There are winners and losers(like me).
It hurts to know that I will never be able to live a life like the ordinary people but it feels good knowing there are people who are capable of enjoying this life they have even if it is a simple one.
Ultimately I feel that whether or not we end our lives is entirely up to us. Don't let anyone scare you into thinking otherwise.
I hope one day people will be able to freely chose their date of depature from this world.
btw I absolutely hate this new age bullshit.