Venting I don’t want to have to deal with it…

[Mooncry]

Why did I have to be born? Now I'm forced against my will to have to deal with death. Whether I like it or not, if I don't want to spend the next 50+ years trapped living a life I hate, I'll have to muster up the courage to end it. There's no way around it. There's no avoiding it. Death will come for me either way—the only difference is when. And I'm a firm believer in quality > quantity, and I'll never enjoy nor be grateful for my life. I've "stuck it out" long enough to be absolutely sure of that.

I just don't want to deal with it… I don't want to face it. It's why I procrastinate so damn hard on taking my SN. Why can't someone just grab me and force it down my throat so that I don't have to do it myself? Why can't I just fall asleep tonight and not wake up, completely unaware?

This has to be Hell… If I somehow did something to deserve this, I've learned my lesson. I just want it to end, but I can't make myself do it. I guess I must love to suffer. There's no other explanation. Fuck being a conscious creature on this stupid ball in the middle of an infinite, empty void. Why couldn't I have been born as a bird or a mouse or something? Anything but this…

 

[quietwoods]

My favorite thing would be to have a dispenser with 30-180 pills (however long you want). One of those pills, if taken, would mean you wouldn't wake up the next morning, just slip away in your sleep.

You wouldn't know which night, all the other pills would be placebos. Just keep living your life until the real pill happens to be dispensed one night.

Alas, it's not to be.