Amnesiaisalloverme
My previous name here was 249___nnn
- Oct 4, 2022
- 44
So I am such a miserable state right now where im completely disabled mentally and physically. Everyday I wake up and think i can make it but my condition doesn't let me. I was very suicidal and completely serious about it for almost an year now. Not because I have traumas or depression (i believe those are the things which can be managed if u try hard and i have traumas and depression) but because I stay completely useless bcz of my condition and that pains me. Whenever i had an episode(everyday) i want to ingest something and kill myself but i today realised I DONOT WANT TO GIVE UP. With every passing moment i have pushed closer to another traumatic event bcz I dont have the mental state and body of a normal person to do life. I am not even able to get food for myself. But still this useless body of mine is stronger than i thought it is. My mind knows I have no choice left in life but to give it in but their is this hidden child inside who wants to live. I hope ill pass peacefully and find meaning of it all afterwards
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