That's very insightful. I do sleep 8 hours a day and eat well, don't like the gym but go for walks every day. When I go for a walk everything feels great. But soon I'm back at the computer. I'm on the spectrum too so social interaction is a bit harder for me anyway, and that makes me even less likely to try new things.
Why was there no next step for you? Because it sounds like you had acquired discipline during your detox that could be used for a job, school etc.
Honestly? A healthy life is just boring. I felt disconnected from my friends who all send memes on instagram to each other. I couldn't play games with friends anymore. I had less time to hang out with people because I was working, working out, cooking, etc. I felt I was sacrificing the me who I liked and thought was funny and interesting for a successful life.
The field I am (unsuccessfully) trying to go into eventually is web development. I'm trying to do online education to learn. Imagine the willpower needed to have to sit at a computer all day and be productive. I eventually cracked. It wasn't a rapid degradation but I slowly started giving myself more and more slack until the leash might as well not exist.
I have ADHD. I would also consider myself an internet and video game addict. There doesn't seem to me to be a healthy way to interact with the internet and online content for me unless I medicate, which I'm avoidant of. Almost every job (and especially every job that pays well and i think I actually Like enough to do long term) revolves around computers. I feel doomed.
It's good that you seem to have a somewhat healthy schedule. Walks are great since you are exercising and getting outside all at once. It sounds like with the right guidance you could find meaning and purpose to drive you. I wish you the best in whatever choices you make.
