Venting I dont want to do this

[TG_]

hello I am new this is just going to be a vent and maybe an intro idk

so hello I am TG and my life is just falling apart I am failing my classes and the thought of having a job makes me feel sick I dont want to do it I wouldn't be able to get a decent pay so I Wouldn't be really living I would just be surviving and I dont want to live like that I planned to just save up some money and try living off grid somewhere away from people and I will still try to do that but it doesn't look like its going to happen so this is the alternative and too all those people that say there are people that like you and would miss you everyone in my life has known a lie they dont know the real me they would hate the real me I am a terrible person but they dont know that I have become so good at lying everyone likes me I know people that really like me and think so many great things about me all that this has made me realize is the whole fake it till you make it is a lie I have been faking happiness for so many years now and I just hate this more and more every day

I haven't picked the method yet I did want to go to america and get a gun but I dont know anything about how that would happen and I think an OD would be better and cheaper I think I will make a good event out of it really have a good time before I go so I could just have a great day week month however long I can afford it and then just OD idk this is all if things dont improve loads my opinion isn't going to be changed so offers of help will be ignored idk what else to say sorry for no punctuation I dont feel like thinking about this I feel like I just need to say stuff
I want things to improve I so want to live the good life I dream about but it just looks like it isn't going to happen I remember back in highschool one of my teachers said the worst part about teaching me was that when I inevitably fail and can't get a job their taxes would be paying my unemployment stuff that really stuck with me so I guess they were right but I did try back then it was after that I started really considering ending it its now been a while and I still remember her I guess this is what she wanted it isn't just that I have been through so much I dont want to think about I dont know what to talk about now so I guess that is it if anyone has any questions feel free to ask I dont know if dms are a thing on here if so then feel free to dm me oh and can someone give me a quick lesson on what all the acronyms mean

 

[GasMonkey]

I haven't picked the method yet

Long path ahead.

 

[TG_]

Long path ahead.

I hope I pick the right one

 

[LoiteringClouds]

hello I am new this is just going to be a vent and maybe an intro idk

so hello I am TG and my life is just falling apart I am failing my classes and the thought of having a job makes me feel sick I dont want to do it I wouldn't be able to get a decent pay so I Wouldn't be really living I would just be surviving and I dont want to live like that I planned to just save up some money and try living off grid somewhere away from people and I will still try to do that but it doesn't look like its going to happen so this is the alternative and too all those people that say there are people that like you and would miss you everyone in my life has known a lie they dont know the real me they would hate the real me I am a terrible person but they dont know that I have become so good at lying everyone likes me I know people that really like me and think so many great things about me all that this has made me realize is the whole fake it till you make it is a lie I have been faking happiness for so many years now and I just hate this more and more every day

I haven't picked the method yet I did want to go to america and get a gun but I dont know anything about how that would happen and I think an OD would be better and cheaper I think I will make a good event out of it really have a good time before I go so I could just have a great day week month however long I can afford it and then just OD idk this is all if things dont improve loads my opinion isn't going to be changed so offers of help will be ignored idk what else to say sorry for no punctuation I dont feel like thinking about this I feel like I just need to say stuff
I want things to improve I so want to live the good life I dream about but it just looks like it isn't going to happen I remember back in highschool one of my teachers said the worst part about teaching me was that when I inevitably fail and can't get a job their taxes would be paying my unemployment stuff that really stuck with me so I guess they were right but I did try back then it was after that I started really considering ending it its now been a while and I still remember her I guess this is what she wanted it isn't just that I have been through so much I dont want to think about I dont know what to talk about now so I guess that is it if anyone has any questions feel free to ask I dont know if dms are a thing on here if so then feel free to dm me oh and can someone give me a quick lesson on what all the acronyms mean

Welcome to this forum TG!
Sorry for your situation. Some people might say failing classes aren't big deal, but I personally think it can hurt a lot.
There are many compassionate people here. I hope you'll find peace here.

As @GasMonkey said, searching for your method is likely to be a long journey. For starters, I recommend reading these resources:
A crash course for new members.
Acronyms
There is several pinned threads on each subforum. They are good read, too.

I wish you the best.
Regards,
LoiteringClouds

 

[FuneralCry]

From what I'm aware overdoses usually just fail and lead to more suffering, they aren't recommended for reliable ways to ctb. I guess that with methods all that anyone can do, is do their own research to decide what is the best for themselves. But it must be tiring being in that situation, and I get that it's awful feeling trapped in an existence that you hate, life really is just so cruel. But anyway, best wishes.

 

[TG_]

From what I'm aware overdoses usually just fail and lead to more suffering, they aren't recommended for reliable ways to ctb. I guess that with methods all that anyone can do, is do their own research to decide what is the best for themselves. But it must be tiring being in that situation, and I get that it's awful feeling trapped in an existence that you hate, life really is just so cruel. But anyway, best wishes.

What about some hard drugs

 

[FuneralCry]

What about some hard drugs

By the way once you have a few more posts you will be able to access the search function on here where if you have a method in mind, you will likely be able to find information about it and how reliable it is.

 

[TG_]

By the way once you have a few more posts you will be able to access the search function on here where if you have a method in mind, you will likely be able to find information about it and how reliable it is.

Oh ok thanks I shall do that whenever I get the permission